[Jake448]

So, I have been distant friends with this girl that I dated a few years ago and her boyfriend broke up with her recently. After that, she asked me if there are any guys I know that I could line her up with. I have 2 friends who are close to me and hang out with weekly. I wanted to be nice and told her about them in positive light. Basically, I hooked her up for a one night stand with one of them and the next day they were going to movies, etc and planning future things. I realized I made a mistake, I just wanted my friend to have fun for one night, but did not anticipate that this would become a regular thing. I told her that I was not comfortable with her doing things with my friend and she told me she understood everything and would not do anything. As I found out later, she lied (as usual) and went to another dinner/make-out session with my friend later in the week. This is when I approached my friend and told him that I do not like this and he told her off. As far as I know, this is how it remained for a week, he has not lied to me before, so I have to trust him.
I told her not to ever talk to me again after I found out she lied and I have not had contact with her since.

Yesterday another development happens, my second friend, likely with the consent of my first friend (because they were hanging out at the time together), apparently starts texting her and also wanting to go do stuff and she is interested. I find all this stuff out through another guy who talks to all of them. Now, I feel like if I tell my second friend not to do her, I feel like I am completely blocking my friends from having fun and being a bad friend. I know this is all my fault because I started it, but how do you think I should go about this situation? Talk to my friend? Just leave it alone and let them do whatever? I have a feeling she may start dating one of them soon, she generally starts with sex and seductively moves on to date guys. She is not a good person and I want her as far away from my life as possible, but this is clearly not happening.

[answerme_tender]

You cannot control anyone but yourself. Stop hanging around these friends till they get tired of her and move on, Obviously they get tired of her in just a short amount of time.

[mmresd]

I agree with answerme_tender... I cannot imagine why someone would invite an ex-girlfriend who he once knew in a personal level and obviously has a negative connotation towards her to hang out or "help her" hook up with your friends in the first place... personally I think that as your first friend understood how you felt about the situation and respected you when you approached him, the second one should be able to do the same. But make sure not to blame him if he doesn't because if he is under her "seduction" it will take a personal motivator from him to tell her off. Just make sure that you don't invite this girl over again because it doesn't sound like someone that benefits you with her presence at all and is not worth to stress yourself out about a girl who you said bye to a long time ago.

[talaniman]

They are doing their own thing and its none of your business what hoe they pass around. Stay out of it, and drop the self righteous guilt trip.

[Jake2008]

You make her sound like a sexual predator, and knowing how she operates, you set her up with two of your friends, and now think she's just going to keep going like the energizer bunny on steroids. You gave your friends glowing recommendations, and she took you up, on your offer, to contact them.

Why did you do that to your friends.

The best you can do is tell them you made a mistake in judgment, and no longer think of her as quality dating material, for lack of a better word, and let them make their own decisions. Making demands upon them to not see her (or anybody else), because you think you are entitled to some control over them, is not a great way to maintain a friendship.

The only person's actions you can speak to is your own. While you regret passing her on as a recommendation, consider it a lesson learned and keep your opinions about her behaviour, and your friends' behaviour, to yourself.

[Jake448]

Thank you for all the advice, perhaps I should not have asked my friend at that time not to see her, but what is done is done, I overreacted. Now I will just let it go and let them do whatever with her. They never looked at her as dating material, but they have a very loose idea about "dating", neither has had a serious girlfriend before, more of short term acquaintances (2 weeks max). As a result, they may get along just fine with this one, which sucks if that happens because I would have to see/hear about her often, but like everyone here seemed to agree, I can't control them.

[Cat1864]

Jake448, I have a very important question for you: Are you upset because she started actually going out with your friend instead of your friend having sex with her and leaving her alone or because you still have feelings for her?

I have a problem with your plan to set your friends up with her for sex, which is what it sounds like all you expected your friends to do. I also have a problem with you blaming her for wanting a relationship instead of being someone's one night stand. She can't 'lure' someone with sex if the person doesn't want to be 'lured'.

I think you need to be honest with yourself and decide the type of relationship you really want with her. In the meantime, stop being a 'dog in the manger' where she is concerned. If you don't want her, then don't mess up her chances to find happiness with another person especially one you set her up with.

[Jake448]

Cat1864, as far as your question, it was initially both of those reasons. First of all, before all this happened, she told me she wants to have fun with some different guys so she can get over her ex boyfriend and does not want a relationship. I know very well from years of knowing her that hangouts for her are basically equivalent sleeping or at least making out with guys. I thought that hooking them up to hang out for an evening and have a one night stand would be doing a good thing for both people and it appeared that it is exactly what they both wanted at the time, so I really felt like I was doing a nice thing for both of them. After she had sex with him, I did not feel right about my friend doing her, thus both parts of that question are applicable. I may have not felt right about it because I have some feelings for her left over, but by no means do I or ever would get back with her.
At this point, I do not want any relationship with her as a friend or even an acquaintance. I told her after she lied to me this last time not to ever talk to me again, so its been that way since.