Hello
My ex-girlfriend left me when she was pregnant with my child 12 years ago. I just located her after all this years of no contact whatsoever. She got married about 10 years ago. My son was not adopted by the step father to my knowledge. Even thou I would love to meet my son, I have to think about the welfare of my own family since I'm married with 3 kids. Before I contact her, could you please let me know what could be the worst case scenario in terms of possible child support or any other financial matters?
Thank you

Jay16

I know what I would like to do, but my wife wouldn't go for it.

But let me fantasize for a sec.
Assuming I call her. She doesn't request support and somehow she allows me to see my son. Could my son, assuming he wanted to do it, after he turns 18, request my name to added to the B/C(which would be a blessing)?

macksmom

It would be good to discuss the issue with your wife, however, if you find out you do still have the right to request a paternity test, and to see your son I would not let child support be your deciding factor. You need to think about when you son is older, and maybe his mom will tell him about you....if he comes looking for you and finds you, as you did him, do you want him to know you found him and chose not to see him because you didn't want to pay child support?

This is your son....I hope everything works out.

macksmom

I would assume he could have you added once paternity was established...you would both have to have a DNA test and you could take the results to have the birth certificate corrected. I ASSUME this would be the case.

Jay16

Child support is only an isssue that could affect my wife in a very negative way. As for me, even thou I haven't even met my son, I would give my right arm for him to know that I'm his father, and a father that cares for him.

Jay16

Macksmom, thanks for been in there. It's great to have feedback from a nice woman like you. This is a very emocional matter that sometimes only women can grasp the entire scope.

macksmom

No prob
I do understand where you are coming from as far as not wanting to cause problems in you marriage...but as your wife, she should understand the importance of the father-son relationship, and should want that for you.

GV70

I am FOR father-child relationship but I cannot immagine what will happen if the judge says"Pay retroactive child support"-it will be 24 months of his income and it would destroy all.

Jay16

What are you doing? I'm starting to get convinced by you.
I think a possible very positive outcome far outweights any financial obligations. Thanks

Jay16

Jee....JV just punched me back down

ScottGem

The possibility does exist for back child support. especialy for the tome from birth to her marriage. But I think its remote. She ran away from you. She made no attempt to contact you, If she was on public assistance they would have forced her to contact you for support.

On the other hand I think she wants nothing to do with you. And will not welcome your intrusion into her life or your sons.