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    What requires supervised visitation?

    Asked Jan 19, 2008, 10:45 PM 7 Answers
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    Last edited by whit24; Jan 20, 2008 at 07:45 PM.
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    7 Answers
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,100, Reputation: 236
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    #2

    Jan 20, 2008, 10:30 AM
    If you can prove these facts, he may never get any visitation. Why would you want him to have visitation? Supervised visitation sometimes means visitation away from you, and in the presence of a third party, such as a social worker. I have heard of churches sponsoring these activities. You need to consult with the child protective service department in your area.
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    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 759
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    #3

    Jan 20, 2008, 10:39 AM
    Ultimately it's up to the judge. If the father is truly as you've described then I'm sure that any judge would only permit supervised visitation. Usually a court-appointed social worker would supervise the visits. But I find a couple of things in your post questionable. First of all, I've never heard of a "pill" that allows a drug test to result in a false negative. Secondly, I find it hard to believe that any prudent police officer specifically advised you against getting an epo if the situation was serious enough to warrant you contacting them in the first place.
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    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,436, Reputation: 2985
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    #4

    Jan 20, 2008, 11:25 AM
    Hello whit:

    Your story is not unusual. When the father is no longer involved, a lot of women come here and tell us how bad he is. They tell us about all the drug abuse and the physical abuse they endured just like you have.

    And, I agree, if it's true, it makes him look like an unfit parent.

    However, upon further review, I see that he was diagnosed over a year BEFORE you got pregnant. If he drinks and takes drugs daily, he probably did the same thing before you got pregnant. It's even probable that you did drugs right along side him. You're saying he goes to bars and drinks and drives, but he didn't do that before you got pregnant? People don’t change in 7 months.

    What I'm suggesting is that the worse you try to make him look, the worse you look yourself. I'm talking about through a judges eyes, of course. Personally, I couldn't care less.

    Now both the judge and I could be wrong. You could be the wonderful drug free, non drinker and driver, non bar attendee that you would have us believe you are. If that's so, then knock yourself out about how bad he is.

    But if it's not so, and you point fingers, you could BOTH lose your baby.

    excon
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    carolinakelly's Avatar
    carolinakelly Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Jan 20, 2008, 11:26 AM
    Your complaint will stay on file with the police, however an epo says you're serious. When you went to the police, was it for an assault/battery offense? If he has that many felonies and a judge sees this, and an epo on record, then visitation either alone or supervised will be unlikely until Dad takes a parenting class and shows sincere interest.
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 61,847, Reputation: 5750
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    #6

    Jan 20, 2008, 12:46 PM


    Who knows what a judge will rule? And we don't know the other side of the story. As excon pointed out, you didn't fear this person enough not to have sex with him or allow him to father your child. A judge may very well take that into account.

    What will prompte a judge to require supervised visitation or deny visitation is where the parent presents a danger to the child. If what you say is true, that could very well be the finding.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 75,720, Reputation: 7217
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    #7

    Jan 20, 2008, 01:24 PM


    All you can really do is try, and then after enough time on supervised visits they can request to be taken off that status.

    And yes, of course we are dealing with the issue that you were with this man, so did he have any good things ? So be ready to explain to the judge why you are not the same as he is . Don't want to sound mean, but that is a common thought by the judges.

    And of course there is no magic pill that will make a drug user have a clean system, there are a lot of silly products, but none that work, so if he is passing the tests, he stays off drugs at least long enough to pass.

    But you will need to prove it, by asking the court to give its own drug tests and more.
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    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #8

    Jan 20, 2008, 03:37 PM
    Would you keep a rattlesnake as a pet? How about a wolverine? Or a 12' alligator in your bathtub? No, you wouldn't as these are dangerous animals. Then why are you wanting a dangerous bipolar to have visitation with your soon to be here baby? You've already clearly demonstrated to us how irresponsible this man is - then why in the world would you even keep in contact with him if he abused you physically and emotionally?

    The fact he refuses his medicine and keeps drinking and doing drugs tells me that he is a timebomb waiting to go off... and he just might go off on you big time.

    If he really does drink and drive every night like you claim he does and he's on probation, have you tried talking with his probation officer about his behavior. If he is on probation, he is in clear violation drinking alcohol. Give the PO all the info as far as what bars and what time and I'll bet you the PO will go to his residence, see he's not home (say at 11PM) when he should be there and go and round him up in the bar.

    You should run, not walk, in the opposite direction away from this jerk as fast as you can. He will only get WORSE with his drinking and drugging and he will probably come after you late one night while he is drunk and/or very high and beat the crap out of you and not remember it. Do you really want that? I should hope you would not.

    Leave the area if you can while you still have all your arms, legs and nothing is broken as quickly as possible. Wake up before it's too late. Bipolars are not to be taken lightly by any means. They only get WORSE, much worse.
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