My father died in April of 2006 and was cremated. He was married at the time to his wife of 12 years. She and my sister both expressed that he had told them that he wanted to be cremated and scattered at our family recreational property. His wife came to me after his death and asked permission to do this and I said yes. A few months after he died she planned a weekend to go and do this with all of his daughters. She cancelled at the last minute and multiple attempts since then to reach her have been futile. Do we have any rights at all to know where our father's ashes are or what she plans to do with them. Do we have any rights to get some of them. She will not respond to e mails or phone messages.

Fr_Chuck

I am sorry for you loss.

And whlie the laws of various places differ and you did not say what county you live in, ( US, Canada, Peru) or if the US what state, some may know more exact rules for where you live.

But in basis, no it is all up to his wife at his time of death, unless he left specific written requests in his will.

If I can suggest remember the ashes is not your father, the spriit the life that was him is not in the ash. He lives in you, his family and in the love that was there.

Often we recommend you build a small memorial on the area he loved. A bench, perhaps a water feature and a small meditation area. Of course being Catholic we do it with a religious statue also but that is a personal choice.

You can of course hire an attorney to write her with a demand to know what is the status, often a letter from an attorney will scare them into a response