I need info on how to advise a 16 year old girl on getting help and relief from an emotionally abusive mother. She does not received regular medical care, is berated, told how worthless she is, etc. and is regularly blamed for anything that goes wrong in the mother's life. This has gone on for as long as anyone can remember. She has tried to reach out, to the one doctor she saw a few months ago and to her school counselor. With the doctor, the mother barged in and started yelling about how she was a liar, etc. She then threated her about telling anyone else. She has threated her with physical violence, but I don't know if she has ever carried out the threat. She said that she was told that she would need proof. The doctor nor the school counselor reported the problem.

I need info on Washington state law and where she can turn and get help, as she probably has only one shot at getting it right. If not, the mother will know she tried to get help and then who knows what will happen. I'm in CA with an ill husband, so we can only do this via the internet.

Thanks so much!

Hello c:

Most states have similar laws against child abuse. Your friend should call CPS, or whatever they're called in Washington. They'll investigate her claims and if they're valid, they'll DO something about it. I don't know WHAT. Depending on the level of abuse, the girl could be removed and the mother charged, or they could just send the mother to parenting class.

From what you've said, I see a dysfunctional family, but I don't see a CRIME having been committed.

excon

Any individual can contact Social Services in the locale of the child. Even small towns share a social worker with other towns and can be found in the blue pages.

But I'm afraid that berating and blaming are not going to be deemed abuse that would result in action, and lack of 'regular medical care' won't either. Even cases of extreme medical need being denied can end up in court battles that might favor the parent.

The girl needs a network of supporters near her, until she can leave home, unless her mother will allow her to live with a relative or friend.

It isn't easy to measure where in the wide range of teenage complaints about parents the truth lies. A doctor or school counselor might make mistakes based on hearing so much typical teen complaining, when they should be recommending therapy or reporting abuse. But from what you say, it isn't reportable.

I agree that the emotional and verbal abuse will not be deemed worthwhile to do anything about we have 3 kids my step kids that mom abuses verbally and mentally even in our apartment building in front of our neighbors,, she has had numerous calls in on her by several callers including a counselor and all they do is offer mom volunteer services,, meanwhile our 3 kids all 10 and under cry berate themselves, lie, destroy things, are depressed have no self esteem and can not be in counseling because mom has joint decision making and calls all counselors we try and yells at them to stop... are scared of their own shadow.. and beg not to go home to be yelled at and then left home alone all day... sadly it takes serious physical abuse or neglect for parents in Washington to be forced to do what is right for their kids... however if she is 16 she can seek her own medical care and go to counseling... she could also possibly seek shelter by going through a domestic violence association and get emancipated