In a nutshell, I met a guy & semi-dated for a month-- got to know each other for a month, had sex... 9 months later had a beautiful baby boy! My baby is now 7 weeks old. I got to know my baby's daddy, but not THAT well (it was only a month to get to know him before I decided it was not going to work out because it was just kind of a boring relationship at the end). I didn't find out I was pregnant until 4 months, but I did call him and let him know that I was prego and the chances of it being his was about 99.9%! We kept in contact all throughout my pregnancy, but kept it to a minimal amount. We get along and all, and I am going to let him see his son *for the best interest of my son-- so he can grow up knowing his biological father*. He went ahead and got a lawyer just so that he knew his rights were being met, but it wasn't supposed to be to where I felt threatened by it. I think we both can agree on everything but he wants to set up a visitation/etc etc etc schedule TODAY and make it official (signing it for the courts and stuff) and I am not comfortable with that so much because what could work out for baby now, may not work out for baby down the road and I don't want to legally be held accountable if I wish to change my mind. I need more advice but I will just leave it at this for now. I will probably be getting an attorney next week (not to be an to the baby's dad, but just so that I know my rights are ALSO being respected-- I'm a first time mother so I am still learning)! Thanks to anyone who responds!!
I dont really see a question here but if he wants to have his rights legally established and a DNA test to confirm paternity that is 100% his right and you have absolutely no say in the matter.
You are not entitled to change your mind - he is the child's parent too and your whims are not his problem and he should absolutely protect his rights.
I'm not trying to gain full custody or anything... I just want to hear other peoples stories I guess. I'm not ready for my baby to go on overnights or anything yet but Josh can see his kid as much as he wants. If I didn't want Josh to be a part of his sons life, I didn't ever have to tell him I was pregnant... and he would have never known. But I am not a selfish person... so I did just the opposite.
Again, what YOU are ready for really isnt for you to decide. He was AS MUCH right to the child as you do.
And im sorry, but you ARE a selfish person. You want to control access of a father to his son. Did you have to tell him? No... but the same can be said about did you have to have sex with him in the first place?
I'm not ready for my baby to go on overnights or anything yet but Josh can see his kid as much as he wants.
It's not just your baby, it's his baby too.
You say he can see his child as much as he wants, how gracious of you. Sadly, this isn't for you to decide. He is as much a parent to this child as you are.
I know it's hard to let your child out of your sight, but this is the price you pay when you have a child without having a relationship with the father. Split family, split homes, split time. You might as well get used to it because this is the way it's going to be.
Be happy that this man actually wants to be a parent, so many guys just walk away.
I don't think you guys get it. Josh and I are not in a battle or anything, we get along just fine. I think you all are under the impression that I am arguing with Josh about overnights, which I am not. Overnights are not an issue right now & once the time comes (which it will soon, I know) then I'll handle it as an adult/mom then. I was just primarily venting earlier because everyone I could talk to about this was either at work or busy. Josh ended up coming over for 3 hours today and we came to everything on agreement. I DO respect the fact that Josh wants to be a part of his sons life, and I want him to-- just as much as he wants to!!
...I've never been in this situation before so of course I am curious about different thoughts I may have that I don't necessarily want to talk to some people about-- but rather get answers from random people just to hear their input. I don't need people getting the wrong impression though, getting on their high horse (maybe perhaps because they're used to giving advice to y girls on here-- which I am not a , at all... or perhaps you're a single dad or mom and have had bad encounters with your own baby mama or daddy and are taking it out on me) and thinking that I am the bad guy. I'm here to make things work with Josh--- just want to hear others stories. Make sense now or still think I'm out to get him?
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