I lived with my ex-boyfriend for 8 years. We have one child together and another who is younger that he had with another woman and who I have raised since he was three years old. We separated in May because HE wanted to and I moved out. I had just made a major career change (to work for NY State) and was making very very little money. I was only able to get another apartment because I got my tax return. My ex makes a very decent amount of money and owns his own business. I worked in as a paint salesman before, working nights, weekends, and holidays with no benefits. I made this change for my children as well as for myself but that was before he told me to leave. My job will eventually earn me a decent living but this is in the next few years and right now I can't even pay my bills. We have an informal arangement which I think, is good for the boys (aged 10 and 9), he has them 1 week and I have them 1 week. Getting an apartment that I could afford was impossible so I told him that I could move out if he could give me $200. per month towards my rent. My whole salary goes to my rent! I have a teenage son also so it is very hard for me and he NEVER pays that $200 on time! Sometimes I have to wait nearly until the end of the month for it and then my rent is very late! Now, at the beginning, I applied for substidized housing and a year later, it is coming through. My ex tells me that now he should not have to pay anything and that I should be grateful for what he does and he only does it from the goodness of his heart. HELP. Am I entitled to child support since we split custody? Is it morally wrong of me to ask this? I want to be fair but I need a little help and I feel that $50 per week is not that much to ask for two children (one of whom is not even mine).

simoneaugie

The kids are both his? Does he care about them? What he thinks or feels about you is irrelevant. Helping you financially helps his children. I think you should do the financial business on a percentage basis. Or you could just let him have the kids all the time. What is his problem? Do they eat too? Do they need new clothes?

A lawyer may be able to help. The lawyer's bill could be taken from money he owes you.

oneguyinohio

You have the right to ask for support. And a lot more! It is a pretty risky business for you in my opinion, because it sounds as if you have no legal or biological claim on the one child. My understanding of child support is that it doesn't go based on time that the children are with you, but it is calculated based on the income of each party.

The child of his should be entitled to a lot more than the amount of $200 per month regardless of how much he is with each parent.

The other child that is not yours, he could cause you problems on with custody so you really need to seek legal advice there!!

Fr_Chuck

First I will say you have no right what so ever to any custody or visits for the one child that is not yours, Assuming he has full custody, what is the legal status of the childrens mother, but you have basicly a baby sitter status with that child. so you will not get a legal custody of a child that is not yours, unless you adopted the child prior to your split up.

The only child you may get any money for is the one that is both of yours. and you should go to court for legal custody agreement, since without that, he could just not give them to you one week and there is nothing you could do without a court order in place.

It is hard to say, since you both have equal time with the children and custody is split evenly, they may not order him to pay any money since it is not a matter of custody parent and non custody.
But even in a joint custody agreement, one is often considered the prmie custodial parent, and the other may have to pay support. If you had custody of the child and he had visitation, then you could get support, But from what you are saying it looks like he has primary custody and you are sharing joint custody, which may not mean any support, since what stops him from asking for support for the time he has the child from you ?

So you need to get it all ordered in court, but hard to tell what the judge would do,

Nebogipfel

Yes, I know that I have no legal custody of his child but he wants me to keep him. His mother is missing. We have not heard from her in years. I don't see a judge ordering me to pay support since he makes about 10 times more than I do. I make about 350 per week. I am not the one women who would take advantage. If I could, I would not take a cent. It is only because I need it so so badly and because I can't even provide enough food for my children. My entire paycheck goes to rent, electric and gas bill and maybe 50 or 60 dollars a week for food. That's it. I am not asking for more than he can do. He makes more than the 200 I'm asking per month in 1 day! I am an exceptionally fair person. When he was unemployed for several years I supported him and even paid the child support for him for his son. he knows that it would be bad for the youngest child to take him from me since he still cries for his natural mother who abandoned him and has becme very attached to me. The youngest was always his favorite and he never failed to show it even though it caused the other two a lot of pain. Don't think that I am vindictive. I am glad to be out of this. I just want to be able to buy my children a notebook for school or a gift for their birthday.

oneguyinohio

I don't think you are vindictive at all. I only asked about the custody incase you had not thought of the possibility of him taking the children away from you in retaliation for you attempting to get support. I fully feel that he should be paying you a lot more than the $200 for the one child alone. He should be paying you a tremendous amount as well for the care you are doing for the child that is not even yours.

He should be paying a heck of a lot for even the one child you both have together!

The numbers I was given worked out like this... Add both of your incomes together, and the court determines an amount of money that the child needs to continue living in that life style. That amount is then split. If he makes 90% of the income, then he would pay 90% of the amount determined by the court.

My case involved a divorce, and each case is different, but I can tell you that on my wages which were much less than half of his, I pay about $400 monthly for child support for one child. That does not include any thing he should pay for you taking care of the other child.

You are not being vindictive to require him to pay court ordered child support, but you may be in for a big fight.