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    chrisandy's Avatar
    chrisandy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 31, 2009, 01:32 AM
    I was unmarried mother.
    I can't find same/similar situatuion like me and I really need help!
    I have 2 boys from my ex fiancé.my first son was taken by his father long time ago.Iam not US citizen and I didn't know anything about US law.he told me that he could take my first son because he is my son's biological father and his name on his birth certificate.
    I tried to talked to him and return my son back but it didn't work.he changed his phone number,moved,and he tatally ignored me.first he didn't even want a child and he was hoping that I was going to get abortion.but I didn't.I loved my son and took care of him most of time for 15 month.
    Now my son is 7 year old.I thought everything I could do.but it was enough.Ive been sending some clothes and toys for my son to his father's familly last 6years.
    Last time I saw my son was 2 years ago.I thought I could talk to my son more after that.but he igonored me again for 2 years again.because my son was confused.why he can't see his mom or his brother...
    My ex has been living with his GF for a few years.she has 2 children from previous marrigge.I finally could talk to my son a couple days ago and I tried to talk to my son but the GF bothered my son and me was talking.I couldn't even hear anything what he was saying.does she have right to do like that?

    My secound son has been living with me since he was born.he met his brother once but they really wants know each other more.I really don't want to keep them separeted.but their biological father doesn't really care about it.he gave up about my secound son when I got pregnant.he told me to have abortion again.he never ever asked me about my second son.so I didn't put his name on my second son's birth certificate.
    In my coutry I can't put anybody on baby's birth certificate.

    Now Im married other guy and I have their half sister.my husband also adopted my son.he is my second son's legal father now.In my country,I don't have to ask my son's father who doesn't on birth cetificate.

    I would like to know If I can get joint custody of my first son?and I don't really worry about my second son is going to be taken away by his father again?
    Ive been reserching and I read judge doesn't like siblings are separeted.
    Please give me some advise! I live in CA and my first son lives in NM.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    Jan 31, 2009, 07:23 AM

    You need to file a petition for joint custody in New Mexico. You NEED to get an attorney to do this for you. What chances you have I can't say, but an attorney can advise.
    chrisandy's Avatar
    chrisandy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 31, 2009, 01:52 PM

    Thank you so much for replying.
    I talked to NM attorney on the phone about my situation.he said I had a strong case and I also can file for sole custody of my child.since my child was taken by his father without my permission, he has been triying not to let me see my child and he threated me for very long time if I talk about returning my child,I would never see my son.
    I want to know that most of attorney say "strong case" for any case?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Jan 31, 2009, 03:37 PM

    I would definitely try to get a second opinion, but most attornies will not take a case unless they think they can win. However, some will soak you for fees even if they think they can't win.
    chrisandy's Avatar
    chrisandy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 31, 2009, 03:51 PM

    My attorney took my case.he already started to file my case.its going to be done by next week.thats mean... my attorney think Its possible to win?
    I don't know if I can win but I don't know why my ex think Im going to lose.and if I go to court for custody,he said he would never let me talk to my son.I told about it to the attorney about he always threted me.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #6

    Jan 31, 2009, 03:54 PM
    Of course he's going to threaten you. He's been trying to intimidate you from the beginning because he probably knows if you go to court you will win.

    You need to keep a journal of all the threats and other abuses. You need to be able to prove them to the court.

    Did the attorney ask for a retainer up front? If so do you mind telling us how much?
    chrisandy's Avatar
    chrisandy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 31, 2009, 05:35 PM

    Its $3500 plus tax.the attorney is very experienced.also I talked to other attorney and he was $2400.
    Actually my ex went to talk to my attorney if the attorney represent for him.
    I told everything to my attorney.
    Include my ex and son lived with the guy smorking pods.he was smoking in living room or bath room.me and my ex argued about it.because it wasn't not good for a child or anybody.I told him I would go police or tell his familly about it.he yealled at me not to do it and tried to choke me.I really thought he would kill me.I went to state by myself to aske him return my child.I thought he could anything he wanted to..

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