I have been living with my man for 3 years. My daughter is 3. He has been there for her in every situation since she was born, the Bio father is NOT on the BIRTHCERTIFICATE, he does not care to see her, nor pay child support, and has not done nothing for her or seen her since she was born, and he is only 17, and my man is 21.
Can my BF adopt her? Or do i have to wait till we are married for 2 yrs
and does the bio dad have to sign his rights away even if hes not on the birth
certificate?
What state are you in? Most states do require at least a year of marriage not just living together for three years. Why haven't you gone to court to get a support order? That is the only way that the bio father will owe support if you don't have an order he dosen't owe anything. He will have to sign to allow the adoption and you will need an attorney to draw up the papers so you may as well start looking for one now and they will let you know what your local laws are for adoptions.
The biological father has to give his consent in order for another man to adopt your daughter. Without his name on the birth certificate it doesn't sound like there's been any legal establishment of paternity even though you know who the biological father is and he (presumably) hasn't denied paternity. But even so, almost without exception, his consent would be required. Now the fact that you're not married to your "man" will be an obstacle, even though you've been living with him for 3 years. In your question you mention "being married for 2 years." Perhaps that's a standard in your particular jurisdiction ; I can't say for sure. Also, if I'm reading your thread correctly, your 3-year-old daughter's father is only 17. That means he was only 14 when she was born ; hardly in a position to pay child support. Certainly he'd be expected to do so later on, when he's older and has an education and hence the means. In fact, at age 17 I'm not even sure any judge would let him voluntarily sign away his rights even if, all other things being equal, conditions were generally favorable for an adoption.
First do you have a custody order and a child support order in place.
Next so you had sex with a 14 or 15 year old boy to get pregnant, so how old does that make you.
Next "YOUR MAN" may have been there for three years, but your husband can adopt. so there needs to be those words.
First do you have a custody order and a child support order in place.
Next so you had sex with a 14 or 15 year old boy to get pregnant, so how old does that make you.
Next "YOUR MAN" may have been there for three years, but your husband can adopt. so there needs to be those words.
in the end, the bio father will have to agree
I have been told that i dont need custody order in place since she has
been in my care since day one and since his name is not on birthcertificate,
He is 2 yrs younger then me, i am 19, turn 20 in march, and he turns 18 in march.
Why would he have to agree if he HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, or not even proof
of him being bio dad, or not even on the birth certificate?
What state are you in? Most states do require at least a year of marriage not just living together for three years. Why haven't you gone to court to get a support order? That is the only way that the bio father will owe support if you don't have an order he dosen't owe anything. He will have to sign to allow the adoption and you will need an attorney to draw up the papers so you may as well start looking for one now and they will let you know what your local laws are for adoptions.
I am in Edmonton, AB, Canada.
Yeah i thought so. I dont plan on him doing anything until we are married if we do.
Just some thought in the air. Also, i dont want child support from him, as it would be
drug money under the table, i have allowed him to take her over night once
when she was 3 months, she came back, not fed all bottles, looking high, and
not properly buckled...other times he has seen her in my supervision, he has done illegal
acts that i dont approve of, and left, and just ignored him since, he would harass me all the time, i told him "take me to court" and said "no" so he really does not care.
I have been told that i dont need custody order in place since she has
been in my care since day one and since his name is not on birthcertificate,
He is 2 yrs younger then me, i am 19, turn 20 in march, and he turns 18 in march.
Why would he have to agree if he HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, or not even proof
of him being bio dad, or not even on the birth certificate?
Because he IS the father of the child regaurdless of the games you have been playing. He can establish paternity and get partial custody also at this point. Thats why its best for you to do it now. You should also have a child support order in place.
Lol, I know for a fact he will not do anything about it, as, he is a dealer, has no education, parties all the time, has warrents out for his arrests, i dont no where he lives anymore, nor his number or anything, he is young, i wont get child support for a long time, And i am not playing games....
and even if he was to do anything, all he would get is Visitation rights that are supervised since he is young and i filed he is unfit.
Lol, I know for a fact he will not do anything about it, as, he is a dealer, has no education, parties all the time, has warrents out for his arrests, i dont no where he lives anymore, nor his number or anything, he is young, i wont get child support for a long time, And i am not playing games....
and even if he was to do anything, all he would get is Visitation rights that are supervised since he is young and i filed he is unfit.
But should i go for full or sole custody?
No one can look into a crystal ball and predict the future. We can only guess at it. As you say he is young but that doesnt mean he couldn't turn his life around either. Thats the biggest problem with children having children.
As far as going for sole custody, that you can do depending on the province you live in. There are varying types of custody. Some are split into two catagories .. physical and legal. In some courts its not split. So depending on where you live there will be choices to be made. Having sole physical custody means the child remains with you and there is no visitation from the NCP ( non custodial parent ). Having full legal custody means you have the right to make the decisions for the child. Niether of these will relinquish his rights to the child should he choose to excersize them. You would still need his permission for an adoption. Also regaurdless of how the income comes in place you should still ask for a support order. Then you will ave a bargining chip for later if he doesnt pay and you wish to seek adoption for your child.
The reason that you have to have his permission for the adoption is because he is the father. Now, of course you can hire the attorney (which you will need anyway) and they can tell you how long it will take to get him into court to first prove he is the father then prove it is in the best interest of the child for the judge to terminate the bio fathers rights and approve the adoption. But the fact remains that your husband can not adopt with out a lawyer, the bio parent's approval (unless the judge can be swayed to finalize the adoption with out the approval which is rare but it has happened), and the moving of rights from one party to another. Unless of course you want to also loose your rights and just have your husband adopt by himself then the child will no longer be yours legally. That is another option (probably not one you will like but that's the way the law works. Like someone said there are many problems with babies having babies this is one of them.
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