[k1j14mom]

I have a good husband that just expects too much out of me I work full-time and we have 2 children 3 1/2 and almost 2. He just gets upset about stuff and doesn't talk to me he tells my best friend or my mother so he knows I am going to find out but just won't come to me what do I do. We fight over stupid stuff. He thinks I don't clean enough am on the computer to long etc. I could go on all day. I just want some ideas on how to deal with this

[Fr_Chuck]

Sounds like you and he needs to talk, perhaps divide some of the household duties.

[LATINS01]

Listen you guys are going through what most couples go through. This is a period when the both of you take each other forgranted especailly your husband. This is happening a lot you say, because it is becoming routine in your life with him.. Men are are difficult to talk to, they respond to physical and verb communication... more so physical. Take your husband by the hand firmly, sit down in a nice quiet environment and make sure to have strong eye contact with him. Don't let him stray away from you, and explain to him that you are concerned with his feelings and about yours as well. Listen to him and understand why he feels the way he does. Keep a cool head and never let your emotions drive your conversation.. Your feelings are what they are, they are neither wrong or right. He needs to trust you, and then he will open up to you and he will talk more to you. He will let you know exactly what is bugging him... the problem may not be you, it maybe something else within himself.. Men are have a hard time dealing with their emotions and they tend to have a difficult time expressing themselves. Your are the cornerstone in the relationship, so you need to drive this so that you two can develop a deeper understanding and then he will see you in a different way. Another recommendation is men respond to admiration, they always want to be told "Hey good job" or "Thankyou for throwing out the trash" This always seems to bring out the tender side of men because they feel like they the night in shining armor in your life... this builds their trust in you, and they are compelled to to show you affection. And every now and then out of no where, hug your husband tightly... you would be surprised how men react to a simple sweet aggressive hug..

[JoeCanada76]

Maybe that is the way she looks at it.

There are two sides to the story. Maybe the husband feels she takes advantage of him.

Everybody has different ideas. That is where communication comes in.

[NowWhat]

Communication is key. You have to keep those lines open. When you two talk - try and avoid words like Always and Never. And don't start sentences with "You need to...." Try - "I feel like..."
The way we say things can be as important as what we say. And body language can say a lot also.
When you sit down to have a heart to heart talk, you want to make every word count. You also want to go into a conversation like that with an open mind. If you go in with an "I am right" mentality - you might as well not talk at all. You won't hear what the other person has to say anyway.

Having 2 kids under 4 in the house and working full time jobs is stressful and is a balancing act. A relationship can fall through the cracks of everyday life.
If he is going to friends or family to get a message to you - that needs to stop. Inviting a third party into a relationship is not going to help. Try and ask these people if they could advise him to talk to you - not them. And then ask him to talk to you.
Don't give up. It sounds like a case of miscommunication. I think sometimes we argue about the little stuff as a way to avoid the big stuff.
If you don't think you can communicate on your own - try counseling. If not a fan of that - there is a book and tape series - Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I have watched the tape series and it really is eye opening. It puts things into prospective on how differently men and women approach things.
You might find it helpful.