[xJons_Babyx]

I am 15 will be 16 dec. 18 my mom died when I was 10 and dad is dying of cancer. I get a check each month and see non of it. I want to start my life now before he leaves me in a hole some one please help me... I live in Indiana so if you know anything please help

[andrewcocke]

Why do you want to start your life now?
Its not any better on this side of the line, I can tell you that.

I get a check too, I work for it and I Don't SEE ANY OF IT either. That's what life is like.

Im not going to lecture you, I don't know your story, but I'd love to be 15 again and start over.

Are you ready to get a job? To pay rent? Minimum wage is $5.15 per hour, that's $206 per week at 40 hours BEFORE Taxes. About $800 per month, BEFORE taxes. Take a look at the cost of living in the classified and what jobs are paying.

If you just don't want to live with your father anymore, maybe there is a relative you can stay with until you get a little older.

When I was 15 years old, my dad was having some bad helth problems too, I stayed with him, I had a good relationship with him. Now to this day, we help each other out from time to time.

[Fr_Chuck]

Andrew would not lecture you but I have no problem doing it

I would assume you should be helping take care of your dad, no court is going to set you free only because you are such a sad excuse for a son that you will not stay and help take care of your father.

If he is dying, you should want these last years to be with him, since after he is gone, you will never have that time again.

I am sure that check you are getting is to help with rent or house payments, for food that you eat, for clothes that you wear.

You would have to prove to the court to get emancipated that there is a need for such at home, ( that will never happen in your case) next you would have to show the court that you earn enough money to pay rent, and all your expenses. And with that job you also have to show you can and will go to school still also.

I would say that some new opinions is what is needed.

[Bluerose]

xJons_Babyx,

I agree with the others, sweetie. Your dad is dying, if you leave and he dies alone you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. That might not sound like much just now but believe me when you grow older and become more mature, and thinking more like an adult, that is going to hurt.

Why not make up your mind to be the best son a man ever had in the time your dad has left. Mum's been gone awhile and dad has struggled on alone, he deserves to die in peace. No matter what kind of dad he has been, he deserves to die in peace.

I have a young grandson living with me who has never known his mum, he spent eight years on his own with his dad then his dad re-married and two more little boys came along and my grandson felt like he didn't fit in anymore, he became very, very unhappy and asked to come and live with me. He loves his dad very much and you should see how excited he gets when his dad calls to take him out - he will be 14 soon. I couldn't bear to think of him of out there on his own at 15 or 16.

If you suck it up and stick it out, it might get tough watching your dad dying, but you can then walk off into the sunset knowing you did all that you could for your dad. You will be a better man for it, I swear.

[andrewcocke]

I will also add:

Dealing with this kind of problem (illness of a parent) with no family or friends for support can put a strain on an already young mind. What state do you live in? Perhaps someone here can post some support groups.

If you are still in school, I would speak with the counselor or a trusted teacher about this problem. Rather than an emancipation, it sounds like you just need a little support. Although I have never had to take care of a cancer sufferer, my fathers illness rendered him unable to do anything for a long time.

Cabin fever sets in on people who are stuck around the house all of the time, and the depression of a serious illness makes it all the worse. Doctor told my father he had to quit smoking, he tried, and you want to talk about one hard person to live with. But we made it though it, and to this day, I wish that we were in the same town.

If your dad isn't going to live much longer, I will agree that you should cherish the remaining time you have with him. But try to solicit some help for your father, maybe in family or close friends. This is a lot for a teen to go through alone.

Good luck. And trust me, its not better out here, unless you win the lottery.

[mzdebb]

There is more to emancipation than meets the eye, and it may differ state by state. The usual guidelines generally speaking are:
1.Is it supported by your parents?
2.Are you self supporting? Meaning; Do you have a job now and does that job pay enough for you to afford living on your own? (Rent, utilities, food, transportation, school supplies, clothing and medical care.)
3.Are you mature enough to maintain a job, stay in school and live on your own without assistance from family and friends?
4.Is emancipation in your best interest in the eyes of the judge?
5.Additionally, you have to have a certain amount of money in savings before you can even consider going to the court and asking for emancipation. This is required by the court. Plus it will cost you to file for emancipation.
So first off you have to get a job. Secondly that job has to pay you enough to save money and your job has to continually supply you with enough money to live off. At your age you will more than likely find a job that pays minimum wage. No one can live off minimum wage. While working you also have to go to school and you have to maintain a passing grade in all subjects. You cannot quit school since that is against the law, so you will have to work and go to school. You will have to find a good paying job that will work around your school schedule.
All of this has to be accomplished before you can be emancipated for a specific time before the court will even consider your request.
There are many adults who are unable to do what you want to do without an additional income coming into the home. So sometimes it's just better to get thankful for the free food, free doctor visits, a warm bed and the roof over your head than to try to do that on your own at such a young age. Good luck!
Oh one more thing 18 will come sooner than you think. After that you can face these challenges for the rest of your life. Have fun, enjoy your freedom, and smile a lot. Once it's over... it's over.

[RubyPitbull]

Xjohns, I know it seems like you are stuck. There is some very good advice here on these postings. You really need to confide in another adult. Do you have grandparents, aunts,uncles, or a teacher that you like? You need some help coping with all of this and someone to help guide you through this difficult time. If for whatever reason after going through all the paperwork and red tape in the court system, a Judge decides to emancipate you, what then? Where will you live? How will you support yourself? What will you do when you are all alone? You can't be all by yourself without someone helping you. You may think you can but it is a lot tougher out in the world that you realize. Take the advice of some of us older folk here.

I know you feel like whatever money that was coming in for you should be given to you. But, did you ever consider that maybe your father is putting this away into an account for you for college?

Think about all that has been said here in these postings. You may want t start speaking to your father about what is going to happen to you when he dies. He may have a back up plan that you are not aware of. Please tell him how you are feeling.

[crosscanadianragweedfan04]

I lived in a very dif situation, but I still wanted, needed out. My parents abused me. I turned then in to Child Services. Talk to a counselor at school, and they will help you.
KMEH