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singlemom78 · Jun 2, 2009, 08:49 AM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months. He has two kids and I have one. We see each other every weekend but I want to see him more. He doesn't ever seem to have time to see my child and I during the week and blames it on having to do things with his kids, (i.e. dinner, bedtime, etc.) My thoughts are he could work my child and I into the mix of dinner. We've talked about moving in together in the future but I can never see that happening without seeing each other more often first. My question is, does it seem as though we just need to go our separate ways?

ZoeMarie · Jun 2, 2009, 09:20 AM

Have you suggested having him and his kids over for dinner? Maybe 1 or 2 nights a week and see what he says?

liz28 · Jun 2, 2009, 11:24 AM

Are you only concerned about him not seeing your child? Is the child his?

Also, have you talked about spending more time together?

I wish · Jun 2, 2009, 12:51 PM

Since you both have children, wouldn't it make sense for your kids to play together as well?

I think the problem is that he might not be looking for something serious. It's only been 4 months, give it more time.

You can take a few steps forward by suggesting to have dinner all together one or twice a week on the weekday.

88sunflower · Jun 2, 2009, 12:54 PM

Well maybe he is in a routine with his children and he may feel chaos at the thought of breaking it. Maybe you can suggest going over and doing a rented movie and delivery. Do something fun for the kids. At least it sounds like his children come first. Which is great. Suggest something around the kids and see what he says.

talaniman · Jun 2, 2009, 08:28 PM

Being a single mom, I would think you would understand what being a single dad is about. Have you invited him over, or made plans to cook him, and his kids dinner at his house?

Gemini54 · Jun 2, 2009, 10:39 PM

Four months is such a short time.

Perhaps apart form not wanting to break the routine he has with his kids he may also be feeling a bit of pressure from you?

I'd make everything lighter and more fun if I were you - put your 'expectations of moving in together' on the back burner for the time being. It's too soon and it's obviously too much for him.

Get to know him and his children before you start making any serious plans, and take up some of the other suggestions from posters.

88sunflower · Jun 3, 2009, 05:59 AM

Another thing that he could maybe be thinking is not bringing you to closely to his kids until he is sure he wants long term with you. This isn't a bad thing. If that were the case its better also for you. Split families are hard enough without the parent dating and bringing people in to the relationship and then leaving for another and so on. Its not much stability for the kids.