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msbrown21 · Apr 21, 2008, 09:47 AM

My fiancee' s child's mother took his child away claiming that she has custody but we haven't seen any papers, what does he have to do to see his child?

08_777444 · Apr 21, 2008, 10:07 AM

Have you tried contacting the court where the custody papers were drawn up?

msbrown21 · Apr 21, 2008, 10:27 AM

I don't even know if there are real papers, can a mother file for custody without the father's knowledge?

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Apr 21, 2008, 10:36 AM

No.

Unless she can prove somehow that he is unfit for the child.

How does he pay support? Isn't that court ordered?

msbrown21 · Apr 21, 2008, 10:48 AM

The support comes automatically out his checks. If she did have custody, should he some type of document stating all that information?

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Apr 21, 2008, 10:54 AM

I don't know if child support and custody fall under the same document.

msbrown21 · Apr 21, 2008, 11:03 AM

Well right now she won't let him see his child... what can he do so that he can see him

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Apr 21, 2008, 11:32 AM

Unless documented that she has sole custody then she can't take his custody rights away.

ScottGem · Apr 21, 2008, 11:48 AM

Your fiancée doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the pack, no offense. He has child support payments being automatically deducted from his pay and he has no idea what his custody or visitation rights are?

To have the support directly deducted, the mother had to go to court to have child support set. Didn't your fiancée attend those court hearings? Didn't he pay attention?

Bottomline here is he has to go the Family Court in your area and either get the transcript of the hearing where support was ordered or file a petition to get joint custody and visitation rights. And I would strongly suggest that he hire an attorney to do this for him. Obviously he didn't do too well on his own.

wnk_1001 · Apr 21, 2008, 12:16 PM

Your fiancée should have paperwork regarding the child support. On that paperwork should be a case number and what county has jurisdiction over the matter. If he doesn't have any paperwork, that could pose a problem. If the child's mother filed for child support, she obviously had your fiancee's address and/or knew where he worked. She obviously got a decision from some court somewhere to garnish his wages. If for some reason your fiancée does not have any paperwork on that, and did not receive notice to appear at the hearing for child support, which would be odd, he could always ask his employer to inform him what county takes the money out of his check. Then he should go to that county and search for a custody order.

As for custody, it looks like you might be on a wild goose chase. If it were my child, I would go to every court building in every county where the child's mother ever lived. If she does in fact have sole custody, she most likely was able to obtain it because he has not been in the child's life. However, if she knew where he was living, or where he was working, he should have at the least received a notice to appear for a hearing. I would suggest having your fiancé hire an attorney and file a motion in the county he resides in, requesting visitation, that is if he has his child's address.

Whether she has full custody or joint custody should not matter, as he now has a desire to see the child, and unless your fiancée is proved to be an unfit individual to have visitation with his child, the custody papers can be modified at any time.

I suspect the child's mother does not want him around his child. That could be a totally separate issue in itself.

msbrown21 · Apr 21, 2008, 12:34 PM

Let's point this out cause I see it seems like my fiancée is being viewed as the not-so-bright-one... Well... The mother is a scammer, she has committed identity theft (using my fiancee's identity), she is illegally receiving money from the government (child-care checks), she drives on a suspended licsense, living in a forclosed building while not paying rent, writes up bad check stubs so her husband can get a tax refund, claims that she has a insurance policy out on my fiancée and he's never seen or signed any papers, that's just a handful of the crap that she does... so, it's pretty hard to keep up with the things that she does or even know if she's lying or telling the truth about certain documents that she claims to have.

Q: Would you want your child to have a mother like this?

I would hope not, because the path that she is going down sooner or later she going to get caught and be prosecuted, and where will the child end up.
That's why I need as much info and help as possible because I am thinking of the child. I have one of my own and I would dare jeopordize my son's life by committing illegal acts.
I greatly appreciate all the help that you guys have been telling me. I will utilize it to the best of my ability. Thank you.

George_1950 · Apr 21, 2008, 12:42 PM

My guess is the paperwork would be in the county in which your fiancé resides (or resided) at the time the child support was awarded. That is where I would look first. Also, his employer may be able to provide him with case name and location.

ScottGem · Apr 21, 2008, 12:45 PM

Well if the mother is that bad, how did your fiancée let it get to this point. If you know the conditions under which the mother lives, then why hasn't he called children's services and report her. Why hasn't he gone to court to gain custody for the child.

Sorry, but this new information doesn't raise my opinion of your fiancée. That he let the situation get where it is in unconscionable. You are right to be concerned for the child, but where was your fiancee's concern as this has been happening.

msbrown21 · Apr 21, 2008, 12:49 PM

The child was living with us while she was going through this, and then all of a sudden she just wanted to take him away, and we knew what kind of living arrangements and lifestlye she wasn't a threat until now. It was just something out of the blue sky. We never thought that this would happen.

wnk_1001 · Apr 21, 2008, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by msbrown21

The child was living with us while she was going through this, and then all of a sudden she just wanted to take him away, and we knew what kind of living arrangements and lifestlye she wasn't a threat until now. It was just something out of the blue sky. We never thought that this would happen.

Nobody ever thinks anything like this can or will happen, but it does. I think my advice would stay the same. Your fiancée needs an attorney. If cost is an issue, there are motion packets that he could obtain from the court and file the motion himself. The point here is that he has to do something soon for the sake of the child. I was obviously correct in my earlier assumption that the child's mother does not want the father around the child. Which as I said before is a sad and totally separate issue in itself. Before you know it the child's mother will have that child across the state line, and once that happens, his chances of getting the child back would be slim to none, not to mention your costs to rectify the matter will double if not triple. You certainly would bode well to take care of this matter and soon.

I don't know how old his child is, or how long things have been going on like this, meaning no paperwork defining their custodial boundaries, but it just sounds to me like somewhere down the line somebody forgot to dot the I's and cross the t's.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 21, 2008, 01:43 PM

Ok, there is nothing , repeast nothing you can do unless you get a court order and a custody hearing in court. ( beyond turn them into children services.

So you go and file in court and have the mother served for an emergancy hearing for custody. And then show with evidence allowed in court all of the facts. It appears that the mother merely lied about having court documents if you have searched the court house and did not find any cases.

But nothing is going to happen unless you go to court.

msbrown21 · Apr 21, 2008, 02:03 PM

I know that her lifestlye isn't in order how do I prove that.

ScottGem · Apr 21, 2008, 05:05 PM

You aren't listening. If he is getting child support taken from his pay, then a court order HAD to have been obtained. It would appear that you and he had just taken custody without the courts behind you. A big mistake! Now you NEED to get an attorney to straighten out this mess. So tmmw morning you start calling around to find an attorney.

cdad · Apr 21, 2008, 06:44 PM

Also his work should have given him a copy of what they received from the courts and that's a good starting point. As far as what you can do.. you really can't do anything.. its up to HIM to do it. Once you start getting into the court phase of things then you can request from her banks statements and those would show bad checks etc. Good Luck.