[KC911]

My stepson is 18 and a senior in high school. He only has 3 classes and he's failing 2 classes. He thinks that he's 18 and he can do what he wants. My husband is at his wits end and has no idea how to punish him. When my husband says something to him, my stepson ignores him or usually storms out of the house gets in his car and leaves. Then refuses to come home for a couple of days. His bedroom is nasty and smells, and he won't do his laundry. He won't talk to my husband with me around. I feel he is running the house. He talks to the school principal with a attitude and he cuts school. The only thing he does that I commend him for is that he has a job, and he always goes. My husband doesn't want to kick him out, or send him back to his mother. His bio mother somewhat neglected him. He has lived full time in our home since 8th grade.

[Wondergirl]

He's very angry about something. Could his father tell him that he (the father) has made an appointment with a counselor to figure out what he (the father) is doing wrong? Or hey! Even have the father ask his son what you two are doing wrong? (and be sure to listen and empathize and question, not turn it into lecture-time)

Kids like to be asked. They feel like parents and others tell them what to do without considering their feelings or asking for permission. That's what the counselor would do with the father--and with the son if he went to a session or two. The counselor would listen.

Or have a family meeting and, again, listen to what the boy has to say. Don't lecture. He knows exactly what he is doing (but may not realize why), so you don't have to make a list for him and/or accuse him.

[Love-Life]

Well he's cutting his own throat isn't he? Hes almost an adult now and he's choosing the path he goes down. Parents cannot choose the path, they can only try their hardest to lead them in the right direction. Hes grown up now, and later in life, he'll realize he wasted his time in school and hopefully upgrade and go to college or university. Eventually he'll come to the point in his life where he matures, and changes his ways, but all you can really do, is let him make his own decisions. He's not a little boy anymore, and he's only ruining his own future not yours.

[EIFS EXPERT]

Talk, Talk, Talk. Communication is everything. I don't mean critical conversations, start with compliments and teaching him right from wrong as if he was a small child. Just because he's eighteen doesn't mean he is an adult and is ready to go off on his own. He is struggling with something and it's up to you, the parents, to figure it out and protect him from himself. Otherwise you will have to deal with the tragic results, whatever they may be, later.