[Kayla_Johnson]

OK, most of you have already read my other question about emancipation. MY father is threatening to take my baby right after it is born and put it up for adoption, without me ever seeing it. Can he legally do that, and does anyone else have anything to say about the emancipation thing. I can't really go to a laywer and talk because of my fathers controlling behavior, and I know that he is in the right to do that, but he did the same thing with he was 17, he knocked my sisters mom up, and then my sister turned around and got pregnant when she was 17, and he locked her up. But he is threatening the adoption and that he would turn me in as an unfit mother, when he doesn't even know what is going to happen. And the father is going to be around for me, he has already said that he is, but since he is 20, my dad said he doesn't care what he has to say. He said that he would rather beat the crap out of him than listen. So can anyone out there help me at all, cause this is all if have for a helpline at the time.

[ScottGem]

This is your other thread.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...on-147010.html
I suggest reading it (in fact read all threads) before responding here.

[Synnen]

Nobody can MAKE you sign the papers relinquishing your parental rights. Period.

They can make it really difficult and life horrible if you don't, but they can't take your baby away (that's kidnapping) and they can't sign those papers for you (perjury and forgery).

One of the questions that they ask you when you're signing away your rights is "Do you do this willingly, under no compulsion from anyone else". See--they make sure they know that YOU know what you're giving up, and they make sure no one is forcing you to do it.

So... even if he has the parents all picked out and ready to take the baby the second you sign those papers, it still comes down to YOU signing those papers.

I think I remember that you're still in high school. If your dad is making these threats to you, go to your high school counselor. Tell them what your dad said. Get it on record WELL before your baby is born.

EDIT: Kayla, honey, you really need to see a counselor. From reading your other posts--you're looking at this pregnancy and baby in almost a fairy tale like way--if you can just have the baby, get married, and keep the baby, you'll live happily every after. It doesn't work that way.

[ScottGem]

First, it does not appear that Indiana allows a child to seek and obtain emancipation. From what I read the law is designed to allow a parent to sever the parent child relationship not the child.

Second you can't marry without his consent either.

Third, if you were under 16 when he started having sex with you, then he could be prosecuted for statutory rape, but not if you were 16.

Finally, it is doubtful your father can force you to give up the child for adoption. The only way I can see would be to declare you mentally incompetent and that's a long shot based on your coherent posts (though I notice you never respond to the followups people have asked you).

But Synnen is right, I'm not sure if you are aware of the realities you face. You really need to get some counseling.

[Kayla_Johnson]

I know that to me it seems that it will never happen the way that I say it will, but I am trying everything in MY power to keep it in good so my baby doesn't suffer. I do know what is ahead of me, from seeing friends and my own sister go through it. And no, I was over 16 when we started having sex, and I tried to explain to my dad last night that I have had my friend who's dad is a laywer tell me that since I am old enough to consent, he can't really do anything unless I said that he raped me, which he didn't. But I am also afraid to go talk to a counselor for fear of what my dad will do to me. My boyfriend and I were also told that I could get emancipated in the state of Indiana because I am pregnant, but that both of my parents would have to sign it over. Yes I know that this might sound farfetched, but the father has been with me so far, and is planning on staying with me through it all, and doesn't want anything to happen to me in my house to where it is jepordizing an innocent life. And but I really don't know what to do, because I can't talk to anyone in my house, because everyone is scared for saving their own butts. Because I told my mom first, but she refused to say anything to him because she didn't want him starting anything with her. But I am just afraid of what he will do when the baby is born. And yes I am going to do everything in my power to help my child out, but I'm just stuck in a jam of what to do or say to my dad, because he doesn't care about anything I say or do.

[ScottGem]

Please don't use PMs for followups. Just post to the thread.

Like I said, the parents have to do the emancipating, not the kids, in Indiana. That doesn't mean you can't, just that they have to agree to it.

I know its too late, but you really should have thought of this BEFORE you started having intercourse.

[Synnen]

So... is your father a physical threat to you or your child?

Then go to the cops. It's possible that you may be able to be placed in the care of the state until your child is born.

If he's only mad at you--well, that's not fun, but don't you think you deserve it? Do you have any idea how much a baby COSTS? And at 16/17, I sincerely doubt you make enough to pay your OWN bills, much less the bills of a baby! I'd be pretty mad at you myself!

Actually, I *AM* pretty mad at you. While having gone through adoption myself (as a birthmom) makes me hesitant to want to extoll its virtues, however few there are, at the same time, it's my tax dollars that you will be using to raise your child that you can't afford on your own. And I believe that as long as you're under his roof, your father is responsible for YOUR bills--well, you've just made sure by having sex before you could really deal with having a baby that you've set HIM back financially.

You keep looking at this as getting away from your father, or as getting TO your baby's daddy. You're not looking at this as "OMG, I'm pregnant, what's the best thing for the BABY?" THAT is why I'm saying you're immature. That baby should come before your father, the baby's father, and YOU.

If you want your baby, see a counselor, a lawyer or the cops, depending on which one is applicable to whatever the heck is going on at your house. Start standing up for your baby, start GROWING up, for god's sake. You're not allowed to be a teen anymore--you're a mother, and that baby should be your number one priority.

You're afraid of what your father will do if you see a counselor? Well, *I* am afraid of how that baby will see life if you allow others to make your choices for you. I'm afraid that if you can't TALK to someone for fear of what your dad will do to you--well, what are you going to do when the baby's crying and he puts you in the position of being afraid of what he'll do to YOU and what he'll do to the BABY?

Get your priorities straight. Go see a doctor and a counselor, in that order.

[Kayla_Johnson]

I am worried about what is best for my baby. I really don't care how mad he is at me. He has every right to be mad at me. And no this isn't just a way to get to the babies father. I don't really care about that either. He is just stating that he is going to be a major support system and help me. And yes I know that he might not be there for me when the baby is born, and yes I AM trying to do what is best for my child, but if you were in my shoes and if you knew that whenever I try to speak up and help myself (and now my child) it all gets thrown back in my face as if I don't have the right to protect my own child, that is what I am trying to get at. He told me that he has to make every decision for my child and that he couldn't care less about what I have to say. And yes I am afraid of going to a counselor just for the fact that I have to live in the same house as him. But then again, he got fired from his job for refusing to get up in the morning to go to work because he didn't want to, so that isn't showing that he is a very responsible adult. He kicked me out back in April or may just for trying to tell him that I did do something he said I didn't do. The only reason that I came back was because my sister stepped in and said that he needed to sit down and listen to me when I have a problem, which he never has done since hand. But back to my situation. I know that he has every right to be mad at me. I MYSELF am mad at me. I know that everyone in my family is either disappointed or mad at me. But that doesn't change that I'm trying to do things to make my BABIES life turn out better than mine has. If only I had enough time to explain everything to everyone about my life, but I cant. So I'm sorry if I made you mad or offended you in any way. But yes I am trying to make my babies life as best as it can be under my circumstances.

[Synnen]

If your father refuses to listen to you, then see a counselor. Your high school counselor should either be able to tell you what you can do, or put you in contact with the people who CAN tell you what to do.

If you truly think your father is a threat to your child, then you need to talk to a counselor NOW, to find out your options.

He can't make you choose adoption, but you're right--if you're living in his house, he can (and probably will) make your life miserable.

Is there another relative you can stay with, in the meantime? An aunt, a grandmother, a cousin--someone?

[Kayla_Johnson]

Yes there is one relative that lives in this town that has told me multiple times that I could stay with her, but I don't think that my father would allow it. I am plannining on going to the counselor tomorrow... just out of my friends concern of the situation and knowing how he is... and he has every right to make my life miserable, but I don't know how to approach anyone to get the ball rolling about me being scared for the babies life and if it doesn't work... he is even worse

[Synnen]

Honey... I can understand you being scared. It IS scary being pregnant at that age, unexpectedly, with no help from family.

But if you can't get your counselor to understand your fear--KEEP GOING. It sounds like your father is very controlling, which can be vvery scary. Just keep telling people you need help, and believe me, people you wouldn't even expect will come out of the woodwork to help you.

[Kayla_Johnson]

Im sorry that I haven't been able to get back on here and reply, I haven't had access to a computer. I now found out that he told my sister that he is going to pack up all of my things and kick me out. Then my aunt told me that now that I am pregnant, I am a legal adult. So, could I leave and go live with the father withouth him being able to take any legal action on me?

[ScottGem]

While laws differ, I think your aunt is mistaken. The act of being pregnant does not automatically emancipate you.

However, if he does pack up your things and kick you out, then that is his choice and you can go where you want. I would still caution against moving in with your child's father until you are 18. If you can get another family member to shelter you until that point you will be avoiding legal hassles. But as long as you can document that he kicked you out, he can't use legal means to bring you back.