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super_kid · Sep 10, 2011, 10:17 AM

Hi Erm this is going to sound extremely weird but I have a problem of staring at people from the sides of my eyes if that makes sense Like lets say I'm watching TV I would be looking forward but somehow I mage to look either side of me I can't I can't help it , its like when you say to yourself yor not going to do it and beacause your thinking about it you end up doing it , I probably sound like a right weirdo but its ruining my life I need help ASAP I'm only 13

cdad · Sep 10, 2011, 10:34 AM

First off what is it your trying to see when you look? Are you checking to see if your being looked at or just checking the person / persons around you?

super_kid · Sep 10, 2011, 10:37 AM

Im Just trying to look straight and focus on watching TV

cdad · Sep 10, 2011, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by super_kid

Im Just trying to look straight and focus on watching tv

Then why are you trying to look out of the corner of your eye?

super_kid · Sep 10, 2011, 10:58 AM

Im not trying to but I can't stop

Wondergirl · Sep 10, 2011, 11:29 AM

You'll be a very careful driver some day. Peripheral vision is very important.

super_kid · Sep 10, 2011, 11:37 AM

Yeah but people think I'm looking at them and it makes them feel uncomfortable and makes me look like a weirdo what can I do to stop ?

cdad · Sep 10, 2011, 11:42 AM

You first have to identify why you are doing it. Conditions like OCD (a repetative action) start with the indentification of why.

If you can't figure that out then you can't be helped. Persons with repetitive hand washing do so because the "feel" their hands are unclean.

So dig deep and try to figure out why your doing it.

super_kid · Sep 10, 2011, 11:45 AM

Will it make a difference if I find out why I'm doing it ?

cdad · Sep 10, 2011, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by super_kid

will it make a difference if i find out why im doing it ?

Of course it will. That way you can corrct it. Most behavior good bad or indifferent has a reasoning behind it. If you want change you have to know the cause to create a cure.

super_kid · Sep 10, 2011, 11:53 AM

Oh OK thanks a lot

joypulv · Sep 10, 2011, 12:32 PM

When I was maybe in 3rd grade I had a compulsion to run my hands around the tops of the window sills in my classroom, feeling each edge around the moldings and so on. It was embarrassing and of course my teacher wouldn't let me do it. I also had to tighten 1 knee at a time when in a car every time we passed a telephone pole, which was every few seconds, when I was young too (no one ever knew). Now that I am old, I wouldn't have even remembered those things. You usually grow out of them. I had a blushing year too, at about your age. I have little compulsions now about measuring things and drawing house plans for my dream house. It's soothing. I can understand the peering sideways compulsion and am not sure you will find a reason. People have all sorts of facial quirks. I have a friend who squinches up his whole face when asked a question he has to think about.
I would make a set of blinders like horses wore in the old days in crowded cities; it helped calm them. Tie a big floppy hat down around your ears and eyes. Just try it when alone for a while to see what happens.

excon · Sep 10, 2011, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

If you want change you have to know the cause to create a cure.

Hello dad:

Actually there's a therapy out there that says you DON'T have to know the cause of your behavior in order to stop it.. It says you can simply STOP doing it, even though you don't know WHY you did it in the first place... Then, if you wish, you can spend the thousands of $$$'s for therapy that it'll take to find out WHY you behaved in such a manner, but you don't really need to.

I subscribe to that therapy.

excon

super_kid · Sep 10, 2011, 01:41 PM

@joypulv Thanks I think that advice can actually work ; its the fact I make people feel uncomfortable I have to cover my face sometimes when I'm in school it gets very fustrating & I cnt talk to anywun about it

excon · Sep 10, 2011, 01:45 PM

Hello kid:

I'm failing to understand what the problem is.. You're staring at people peripherally? So, they don't KNOW you're staring at them, right? So, how can it bother them?? If it bothers YOU, then stop doing it. But, why would it bother you? I look at people all the time. I LOVE looking at people. If I could look at them and them NOT know I was looking at them, I wouldn't think that's a problem. I'd LOVE to have that ability.

excon

Wondergirl · Sep 10, 2011, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by super_kid

its jus the fact i make ppl feel uncomfortable i have to cover my face sometimes wen im in school it gets very fustrating & i cnt talk to anywun about it

How can you possibly make people feel uncomfortable? (See excon's answer before mine.) Only someone looking straight at you would notice your eye movements. Someone at your side can't see your eyes.

super_kid · Sep 11, 2011, 09:35 AM

I don't know how it makes them feel uncomfortable but I'm sure that they think I'm looking at them but I'm really not

Wondergirl · Sep 11, 2011, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by super_kid

I dont kno how it makes them feel uncomfortable but im sure tht they think im looking at them but im really not

So you don't KNOW for SURE that they feel uncomfortable.

Has anyone ever said he feels uncomfortable because you are looking at him out of the corners of your eyes? Or you just think he does?

super_kid · Sep 11, 2011, 09:52 AM

Yeah They Have

Wondergirl · Sep 11, 2011, 10:29 AM

How can they see you staring if they are at your side? It's a physical impossibility.