I am a mother of three children, my oldest child (12)has falsely accused me of abusing her, Twice, (once 4 years ago and again in May)in an attempt to live with her father. A man that has not done anything for her emotionally or financially for the past 10 years.I went through the motions and have recently gotten my charges of D.V and assault and a TPO dissmised and I waiting for the paper work from child services stating that my case is closed. Although they found her claims to be unsubstantiated, they kept my case opened until my court case was dissmised. Sadly, for me I can no longer deal with her. I love my child whole-heartedly but I REFUSE to continue to jepordized the safety and well being of myself and my other children because of her actions anytime she get upset with me. I would like to relinquish all of my parental rights to my child because I refuse to begin to pay her father or his relatives one red cent!!! I have raised her all by myself for the past 10 years without Any help from ANY of them AT ALL. He owes me over 16,000$ in child support as we speak. It may sound petty but I feel like it his and his families turn to struggle the way I have. He only has 6 years to go. I can no longer trust her and I do not want her to come back to my home, I am afraid to be around her without witnesses, besides she wants to be with him and his family and that is where she is. And I cant live like that with my OWN children. We were never married and he didn't even sign her birth certificate because his family told him he wouldn't have to pay child support if he didn't. I have asked her father to go file for custody of her but he will not go probably out of fear that he will be arrested for failure to pay child support. We live in Ohio but in two different cities. So my question is how do I get this process started myself.

N0help4u

I do hope you come back and let us know how it went with once you have gotten the proper legal advice you are seeking. If we are so wrong maybe we could learn a lot from your experience.

How do you get the procedure going? We told you take it to family court and let the Judge sort it out.

Ms Concerned

I said I wouldn't say anything else to you but...ARE YOU SO BENT ON GETTING SMART THAT YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND MY QUESTION OR DIDN't READ IT ALL. (I said that we live in two different cities so since you do know everything maybe you could tell me do I go to the county they live in or the one I live in.) NO, WE didn't tell me anything ONLY YOU are you upset that I think you don't make sense to me. That's not an answer to my question I know I need to go to family court but I need DETAILS. Not all this critism surely you or no one else on here thinks that am just going to lay down and take th B.S you all keep trying to tell me without speaking up for myself. P.S I would tell you people anything else about my situation you all think your here to judge and condenm your not trying to help anyone.

N0help4u

I have been telling you to speak up for yourself and go to court. You are the one that didn't seem to want to hear that from me or others.

I don't see where I have judged you or condemned you in any way. You are the one that keeps telling us we are wrong for telling you to go to court.
I would go to the court where he is in arrears with to start with.

I don't understand why you are getting argumentive with me when I have been saying take it to court and get payment for the arrears to get enforced. Your comments back to us are what lead me to believe you must already know the answer or only wanting to hear what you want to.

stinawords

Here is the bottom line. If the father gets custody then he will be awarded support but before you have to pay anything the judge (at least judges around here) will lower the amount he owes you each week in the amount that you would owe. However, if it is your in-laws that get custody then you and the father will both be ordered to pay them support. That money does not go to a man that owes you $16,000 it goes to the people raising your child.

N0help4u

Exactly how the legal system is looking at it. It is for the children and they can't just go without if mom and dad have a dispute about their support money issues.

ScottGem

First, I can understand your being upset here. But you are taking it out on the people who are trying to help you.

Second, there were three legal issues you raised in your original post. First the issue of relinquishing your rights, second the issue of how to get the process of having the father take custody started and third, the issue of child support. However, in addition you raised issues about caring for a child so it is not unreasonable that people would comment on those as well.

So lets deal with those three legal issues. If you had read the sticky not at the top of this forum, you would have had the answer about relinquishing rights. Only a court can terminate rights and they are unlikely to do so in your case.

So the second issue is having the father assume custody. IMHO, the best way to deal with that is through the local Children's Services agency. Since she is acting up in order to go live with her father, talk to them about changing custody. You can't force the father to be a father, but they may be able to if its a choice between living with him or foster care.

Now we get to child support. Family Courts are governed by prevailing law. I believe, if the father became the custodial parent, you would be required to pay child support. However, I also believe that the courts would take his arrears into account and you would be given a credit for that amount. So that your support payments would not actually begin until the $16K he owes was used up.

But, I see a fight shaping up here and if Children's Services can't or won't help you, then I would strongly urge you to consult an attorney. Your situation is not usual and if you will have to go to court, you will need representation.

You would file in the courts that have juridiction where the the child currently lives.

One last point. I've given you a warning about attacking people here. Any further attacks will not be tolerated.

N0help4u

Exactly Scott BUT also if he has his parents to be legal guardians then it gets more complicated because the fathers arrears would not be taken into account as Stina was saying they would both be gone after to share the support to his parents.