I quit my job to go back to school, i live off of students loans and my national gaurd drill pay. i know i will have to keep paying some child support but i didn't know that if i quit my job the Child Support Recovery Unit automaticaly keeps my income level the same.
she got her chance to go to school while i supported her, why should i still pay 435 a month for support when i am going to school to get a better career? why do i have to use student loans to pay child support? can i challange this decisions by child support recovery and win? or will i just waste time and money? i am in iowa
well i was not clear, my intention is not to quit paying child support, i have a fmaily now, my schooling will be paid for the most part with little use of student loans, i don't have to work so i can devote all of my time to studies and taking care of my other child that lives with me while my wife and i both are in school.
my ex, has a husband, they make plenty of money, they do not need my full amount of child support, i do understand that the courts see it as someone doging support obligations
i am not an idoit that will leave my child haning, and yes i did support my ex why she went to school, she lived in government housing, and had grants so she didn't have to pay for school, i gave her a car and paid child support.
now she dropped out of school, got married and her husband makes plenty of money plus they both work.
i see how the mother gets great treatment over the father
i just want to know if its worth even looking into

asking

Boy do I ever agree that they don't teach this in college!

My university professor ex who retired early to reduce his child support has always believed that he should not have to pay anything towards his children's care. And these are children he supposedly desperately wanted, bullying me into a second child I wasn't sure I could handle because of a serious back problem.

He has lots of schemes for me to have more money, such as taking in boarders or selling my home, so that he wouldn't have to pay child support, even though I have no pension or social security for when I'm older. Meanwhile, he is in excellent health and recently retired from a tenured university job, has a great pension, plus social security, and health insurance all paid for by his former employer, plus extra income from investments and rental income, and no mortgage or car payments. I don't ask for any of that, just about two-thirds of the child support payment calculated by one of those online support calculators. Despite all that, this politically liberal man still doesn't want to pay ANY child support! Whatever he's paying he think is too much. I give in a little to get him off my back, and six months later, he's trying to lower it again. I give in again to keep the peace and he's back 3 months later about something else he doesn't want to pay. If I say know, he harasses me with dozens of emails a week and daily phone calls, and if I don't respond to these he goes around telling people, especially my kids, that I won't talk to him and refuse to coparent.

Meanwhile, I have two teen age sons who want all the things their friends have and I just have to keep saying no. I feel we live okay--we aren't poor--but I see how other parents lavish stuff on their kids and I feel embarrassed by my ex. My kids take an old scratched computer monitor to their dad's house to use with his computer whenever they go over there because he won't buy one. He uses a laptop he stole from the university. The boys are starting to realize that their father actually CAN afford things like that, and have started asking questions. I am not supposed to bad mouth him, but it's hard to know what to say.

Sorry for the rant... I have had it today.

I know there are a lot of great dads out there who never do any of this stuff.

Asking

JudyKayTee

I suspect that your children see the situation exactly for what it is - and if they don't they will shortly.

Every time I get in my "justice will prevail" mode I hear something like this and fall off my high horse.

(His suggestion that you take in boarders really is a classic - )

twinkiedooter

James - just because you have moved on with your life and now want to do something different and don't have any money to "squander" on your kid(s) - please remember one thing - you were there when they were conceived weren't you? They are your flesh and blood regardless if you are now with their mother or not. Are you ready for when they grow up and ask you the big question of "why didn't you help me financially when I was a kid growing up?" How are you going to answer them. Seriously, how are you going to answer them? Are you just going to change the subject and whine that their step dad made a bazillion dollars and you felt you didn't have to part with any money?

Sure, go back to court and try and get a reduction based on the fact that you are not working and going to school. I'd like to be a fly on the wall when the Judge tells you an emphatic "NO".

nikosmom

That's great that you have a new family. However, that does not release you from your obligations to your child(ren) from the first relationship. Just because your ex is remarried, you are still responsible for providing for the children, unless you sign over your parental rights and allow her new husband to legally adopt them. It is not up to you to decide what the children need, the courts have determined that already. You are missing something very important here, the child support is for the CHILDREN. Just because you decided to pursue higher education doesn't give you the right to pawn your responsibilities off on the next man. Also, you keep mentioning what you did for your ex in the past. Bravo. That still has nothing to do with you taking care of your kids. James, you don't get a pat on the back because you used pay child support. You're SUPPOSED to. It's not about the mother getting treatment over the father. I'll bet that $435 goes a lot quicker than you think when it comes to buying the things they need. And honestly she's probably coming out of pocket way more than that because they live with her. Sure you account for food and clothing. But you're also responsible for a portion of their living expenses (ie. utilities, rent, insurance) because the children are using a portion of these things. The bottom line is this: You have children, so you don't have the luxury of just deciding not to work and thinking another man should have to pick up your slack.