Putative Father Registry

This is great info and will probably help many of our members who were not aware of this.

So basically, men need to register with EVERY GIRL THEY HAVE SEX with, regardless whether or not they know of a pregnancy?

"So...had a great time last night, I'm off to sign my putative father registry just in case you got pregnant last night. Give me a call sometime!"

Well if they want to have a say in rearing the child then they should. But from a practical matter I think the instance of one night stands that result in pregnancies where the father is not informed are probably a small minority.

In most cases, the potential father will know about the pregnancy and have a chance to register.

Having rights is not same as exercising rights. Anyone must know his rights but he must know about his obligations,too.
Personally I welcome these registries.They can help the rights of both fathers and children to be protected. The registries let adoption petitioners find putative fathers without having to rely on the mothers naming them.
But registries are the way for adoption, too. No one will adopt a child if he/she is not sure that the adoption is final and it is possible the child to be removed from his/her care years later.

Oh really?

I've known quite a few adoption agencies and adoptive parents that were MORE than willing to take the word of the mother that she did not KNOW who the father was.

Maybe that's getting better, but the sad case is that even if the father CAN prove that he never knew about the pregnancy or child, the courts will rule in favor of the adoptive parents most of the time--because it is in the best interest of the child.

Excuse me but I cannot understand...it is sad that the child has a stable home and environment?

Ok, guys, the fact is that Putative Father Registries are becoming more the norm at least in the US. While they are not a perfect solution, I think they are better then not having them at all. So lets not fight here over them. If you think they are wrong, then talk to your elected representatives.

But as long as they are the law in many states, then lets make father's aware of them so they can deal with them as they wish.

As an adoptive parent, and having worked in adoption, I can say there's no easy way to handle father's rights. If the father doesn't come forward and is not on the registry, and the birth mother does not disclose who he is, there's not a lot to be done by the agency or adoptive parents. If women are forced to name someone, children resulting from rape and nameless one-night-stands, or children resulting from incestuous relationships, relationships between young girls and older men and so on, will not be able to be placed for adoption. FEw women will give up even men they've broken up with to charges of statutory rape, or will ever tell anyone that their father raped them and got them pregnant, but these things happen a lot, and adoption can be the best chance these women have to spare the baby terrible family circumstances.

There's a need to also protect the rights of adoptive parents. We take in these kids who need a home, and we typically pay all the expenses not only for the child, but also many expenses for the birth parent. I had no birth parent expenses related to my child because he was a ward of the state when I found him, but my friends who adopted paid everything from car payments and rent and electric bills, to grocieries, maternity clothes, attorney bills, plane tickets for their support people to fly in to be with them, years of counseling and psychological care, treatment for alcoholism and drug abuse and far more. Still either firth parent can reassert their rights within the first days and weeks of the placement, and take the baby back without any expectation of repaying the adoptive parents a dime. This just devastates the adoptive parents. Not only do they lose a child they've come to feel is their baby, they are also out tens of thousands of dollars, which often ends their dream of adopting - they can't afford to do it again. Personally, I feel that there should be an expectation that the birth parents pay the adoptive parents back for their expenses if they take the baby back...if they know that is the arrangement from the beginning, they might think twice about racking up crazy expenses. And they have control over a lot of it. I've known of plenty of young women who could have lived free with their parents, for example, but got an apartment because the adoptive parents could be made to pay for it during the pregnancy and for a month after the baby was born. Perhaps there should be a public fund for helping these women so the adoptive parents are not taken to the cleaners, and can then move forward with a different birth mother.

The alternative for adoptive parents is to go outside of the country to adopt, and many do to avoid just this type of financial nightmare and because they know, once they have that baby on American soil, the adoption is done for good, nobody's coming for that child.

So the putative father's registry is a great thing if those men who want to care for their children sign it. It prevents adoption of their children without their consent but also puts a deadline on their opportunity to come forward. They are proactively informed a child was born that might be there's, and they get a period of time to assert their rights. If they do nothing, the adoption moves forward, they are free from any responsibility, and the child and adoptive parents are able to begin a secure family situation.

I think it should go a step further - if birth fathers block the adoption, they should take full care and custody of the child if the birth mother cannot do so and should not be able to block the adoption, and then be a deadbeat - not paying support, not being involved.

What's sad all around is that there are birth mothers who intentionally take adoptive parents for all they are worth with no intention of giving up their children (some work through multiple agencies and get four or five couples thinking they are getting the baby, and all of those couples give them money - of course, this is fraud and they end up without the baby, without the money and in jail...they never get away with it because agencies compare notes to catch these situations). There are birth father's who block adoptions not to care for their children but to control women who they abuse and to act in charge. There are adoptive parents who can be a bit manipulative and guilt women out of their children. And there are agencies who pray on everyone involoved.

But fortunately, these people are the very rare exceptions - most involved in adoption just love the kids and want what's best for everyone.

First--as a birthmother--the ONLY expenses that a birthmother doesn't have to pay back if she changes her mind are the legal expenses. At least, that's the way it was in WI 17 years. Ago. I haven't looked into it since then, but there ARE laws to prevent adoptive parents from being completely taken advantage of.

The OTHER side of the story is that there are adoptive parents that promise the moon and stars to a birthparent to get their hands on her child, then disappear the second the paperwork is signed---and there is absolutely NOTHING the birthmother can do about it, because selling your child is illegal. You can't sue for visitation. You can't sue for further counseling. You can't sue for mental and emotional trauma resulting from promises not beign kept (of course, adoptive parents can't either, but I think the situations are a little different).

For every guy out there that blocks the adoption simply to control his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend, there is a girl out there who doesn't inform her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend of the pregnancy so that he can't have any say in the child's welfare.

It comes back to EXACTLY what I first said when I learned of this: If you have sex with a girl, better get on the registry, or you will have no rights to your child.