Me and my husband have now been married for 9months. For the first 6months of our marriage we were going through a custody battle for his 2 yr old little girl. When the biological mother found out about our marriage she said we would never see the little girl again. We went to court the first time and agreed to her having primary custody to our visitations rights. Four days after it was settled in court we have not seen the child sense. We are now back in the court system with the mother in contempt. She neglects our visitation will not answer the phone. Teaches the child foul language to say toward her step mother, Is not in a stable home and is staying with a man that she is not married to. How can I prove that the child deserves a better life?

tawnynkids

It would take quite a bit. But do keep taking her in for contempt. Judges hate that, and eventually could simply reverse custody to you guys all together because of it. But it will take patience. Judges don't really "get involved" when it comes to moving in new partners. Though a lot of people consider it morally wrong, unless the new person is a convict, drug dealer/user (and it can be proved) or something extreme like that a judge won't find the parent unfit for it.

grammadidi

First of all, what does the mother do that makes her an unfit mother? Is she an alcoholic or drug addict? Does she hit the child, neglect her or starve her? Does she leave her alone, or with a lot of different strangers, have weird people in and out of her home? Is she mentally ill and unable to care for the child?? Often, in order to find a parent unfit, the lawyers will request a battery of psychological tests. These often have to be paid for by the person trying to prove a party as unfit, and their lawyer can request the same be done for them. It can be a costly and unnecessary procedure. If the mother is just a pain in the a$$, it's best to stay away from claims of her being unfit, and instead try to find another way of mediating the situation.

Secondly, I hate to say this, because I understand where you might be coming from, but your reference to "OUR visitation rights" is incorrect. It is your husband's visitation rights and legally has nothing to do with you. "WE" are not now back in court - "HE" is. This may be the kind of thing that causes this child's mother to refuse to answer the phone or honour visitation. I think you should be as supoortive to your husband as you can, but maybe if you backed off a bit and let the situation be between your husband and his ex it might not be as volatile for the child. Again, I don't know the situation, but I have seen this happen before when I was a counselor.

It is such a shame that this little girl is stuck in the middle of all this nonsense. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for you and your husband. I'm just wondering if there is a better way of achieving the results you require than this way.

I hope this all works out for the best of this little girl, for she should be the primary concern of all. Best of luck!

Hugs, Didi