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mom74 · Sep 20, 2007, 10:12 AM

I'd really love to know how I can pay child support for my son without having his father use that support for drugs.My son stays with his father out of what I think is guilt... When we broke up he used the... "If i don't have you, I might as well kill myself" trick and since then my son decided to stayed with him... Even though my son stays at my house more than he does his fathers... I know that if I hand his father money it will be for drugs or what he wants not for what my son needs... Is there any other option for support besides money or if there isn't can I have it stipulated that a drug test is performed on him regularly in order to receive the support?. By the way I also have a daughter by the same man... which I receive no support for because he is on welfare... and refuses to get a job... I feel trapped!

ScottGem · Sep 20, 2007, 10:13 AM

How old is your son? Is there a formal court order on custody and support?

mom74 · Sep 20, 2007, 10:18 AM

I went to court hoping to get full custody but the judge awarded custody of my son to him and my daughter to me... at that time I was out of work so child support was not an issue... now I have a full time job and now my ex wants support for my son so I can only assume I will be brought back to court for this

mom74 · Sep 20, 2007, 10:18 AM

He is soon to be 14 sorry

ScottGem · Sep 20, 2007, 10:27 AM

If and when the father does file in court for child support, you can request that the court appoint a guardian to handle the support. You will need to prove his drug use. I would suggest getting an attorney to guide you though this.

mom74 · Sep 20, 2007, 10:33 AM

I've tried to prove to the court that my son is not being cared for properly... I've sent child services right to my ex's door... of course they were refused entry and he told them exactly when they could return... naturally that was a date he could be sure to clean the place and have food in the fridge... Short of giving names of the people he buys his drugs from is about all I got... which I doubt they will go to court to say so... but I will keep in mind having a guardian look after the support... thanks a lot scott

ScottGem · Sep 20, 2007, 11:04 AM

Has he ever been arrested or tested for drug use? Can you ask the court to order a drug test.

mom74 · Sep 20, 2007, 11:17 AM

I was wondering the same thing... I know he won't willing have it done so a judge would be the only way he would have to do it... but the question is can they the do that for a child support case?. He is recently awaiting a date to go to court for threatening his former female landlady with a bat... yes folks that's the kind of man he is... only brave when it comes to a woman... I hope the judge gives him something other than probation... he is one of those types that can fall into a pile of crap and somehow come out smelling like a rose

ScottGem · Sep 20, 2007, 11:25 AM

GEt a copy of that arrest record to show the judge. Like I said DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!