Are there such a thing as grandparents access rights

heavenzdevil17

my grandparents used them when I was a kid, so I think they're still around....

Fr_Chuck

As to what ?

if you are talking about after a divorce for visitation, a few states have it, many don't, it will depend on where you live ( not sure about Canada and other nations)

oldpoet

Grandparents Rights differ from state to state. I live in California. I raised my grandson for the first 8 years of his life. I supported my daughter, his mother while she earned her college degree. Suddenly, I was of no use to her. She forbid me to ever speak to or see my grandson again. It has been 3 years and the space in my life and heart that was once filled with Jonah, has swallowed me up. The Constitution of the State of California "provides for the biological parents to raise their child as they see fit..."
A grandparent has only 1 right- the right to petition for visitation. The chances of the grandparent winning are slim to none. Trust me. I have been to hell and back on this issue.

Moostepher

depends on what state you live in - I am licensed in NJ and Pa and have somewhat of a concentration in granparents rights in NJ


quite frankly, the US constitution grants great weight to the parents in this regards and after representing innumberable grandparents and parents, I have to side w/ the parents - grandparents, legally, I believe, should be treated the same as third parties - however, what shoud be (and fortunately is) the case is that third parties relationship w/ the kid in issue. If that third party raised the child, then they may stand in loco parentis, which gives that person rights largely co-equal w/ the parents.

Parents can and should be able to exercise their rights to protecting their child as they see fit, w/o some old guy in a black robe telling them otherwise.

oldpoet

AHA! advice from legal counsel!!
Now there's areally chuckler!
I DID raise my grandson while my daughter did her "own thing."
She was not there to read to him, comfort him when he awoke from a nightmare, or to clean up his vomit in the middle of the night.
Indeed, the state Constitutions "weigh heavy" in support of the parents right "to raise the child as they see fit."
How many children have had bones broken, head trauma, and even been murdered at the hands of these "parents"? The word 'PARENT" needs to be redefined. Beware all of the grandparents who have done all the hard work- the loving, the nurturing, the encouraging, the teaching, the praising, the loving.... you could lose your grandchild at the whim of an adult child because of attorneys and the man (or woman) in the flowing, black robe.
GET REAL out there.... how many children are in foster care because their mommies and daddies are NOT fit????

Moostepher

if you did all that you said then you would not be a third party - it sounds as if you could stand in loco parentis - which, as I said, gives you rights largely co-equal w/ the parent.


How about instead of "redefining" society's definition of a grandparent, how about you more clearly define you own roles. You have a daughter or son who can't get their act together and irresponsibly brought another life into this work and had to rely on you too heavily. Sounds to me as if it isn't society or the law that is at fault, but, instead your son or daughter and your role in your grandchild's life that is out of wack (fortunately a grandparent, or any third party for that matter, do not too commonly act in loco parentis - however, whenever a parent doesn't stepup and be a parent, that is always a travisty).



Peace out.

oldpoet

Yes indeed.. I did all and more. I supported my daughter and her child while she earned both her BS and Masters in Speech Pathology. Jonah was a brilliant toddler and a fluent reader by the age of 4. Jonah's father kicked them both out when Jonah was 3. The child was combative and angry. My daughter had no interest in participating in helping to guide her son through the difficult transition. I could not simply stand by so I sought the help of a child behaviorist. It was hard work but the child flourished. He was so happy, finding delight in the world around him.
No- I cannot redefine MY role. It was defined for me by the family court system of the State of California. Grandparents have but ONE right according to family law and that is the right to petition for visitation. I spoke with numerous attorneys who specialized in grandparent rights and was told by each and very one that I could spend 20, 30, 50 thousand dollars and would in all likelihood, lose. I did end up spending thousands. I did fight for my grandson but it WAS the system and it WAS the law that tore us apart. For Heaven's sake.... look at the equation- what does it require to conceive a child? A primal, non-thinking act. Does this automatically endow the individual(s) with the gift of compassion, caring, unselfishness, and the skills to provide a child with nurturing, a sense of belonging, strength, motivation, along with the many crucial skills the child will need in this world? NO! The family court system is to be held accountable for what becomes of so many children that suffer because the LAW says that it is in their best interest to be with their birth parents. THAT is the travesty. I had no choice. I was a victim of the LAW. Jonah is a victim of the LAW. I have had 2 students die at the hands of their own BIRTH parents. The father, the perpetrator never spent a night in jail. The LAW? Damn right it is to blame.

tinkerbell77

I feel for your situation! I am the parent fighting my parents to not have rights. And looking at your case, I'm truly sorry that you didn't get some kind of visitiation since you were such an active role in your grandchilds life. Kids need stability, and love! So I'm sure that he misses you as much as you miss him.
In my case I have been the only one there for my children. My parents never played a active role in the childrens lives or lived with them. And because they are mad at me they are trying to fight for visitation. We havn't gone to court yet. But I hope they do find no visitation for my parents for many reasons. Alot of it involving the mental and physical abuse I received and want my kids away from. Your post is encouraging to me that they will find that me being a "fit" parent can raise my kids as I see fit.
But again, I truly am sorry for your loss. They need to get out of there robes and come in to our homes to see the decisions that they are making for our children.

oldpoet

For Tinkerbell77...
Indeed, the joys of being a grandparent must be earned. It is not an automatic privilege.
I had wonderful grandparents from whom I learned priceless lessons- through their voices, I came to know my history, my legacies, all those who came before me. If not for them, I believe that my fragile "child heart" would have broken like a fine China cup. On the other hand, I work with a wonderful lady who was abused and molested by her grandfather and ignored and discarded by her grandmother. So yes... the legal counselors, social workers, court officials should decide case by case. Jonah was my magic and I was his touchstone where he found safety and a place where he knew he belonged.
Yes, I do believe that both parents and grandparents will use the children as pawns, their "ace in the hole", a way to take control, to hurt, to retaliate. But who suffers the most? The child who has no voice. Good luck to you. May the Powers that Be bless your children's lives with goodness, strength, happiness, comfort, and much love! And may those same Powers guide my beautiful Jonah and protect and ever strengthen his precious heart, soul, mind, and spirit- and may he never forget what it felt like to be loved by his Nana.
Pam