Question
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Aug 4, 2008, 05:15 PM
| | New Member  | | Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4
| | | overnight visitation for infant
Hello,
My daughter is four months old. Me and my husband split up when I was about 7 months pregnant. For the first four months he saw her 3x a week for 2 hours at a time at our house. This worked pretty good considering I had to go in and help him get her quite at times so I think he felt more comfortable here. Last week he took me back to court for more time. He got 2 two hour days and 1 nine hour day, and at 6 months overnight visitation starts. Everything I have read said overnights are not recommended until she is 3 years old. I have showed him all my research and that it might have negative effects but he still pushes for them and the judge was a visiting judge that day who ordered they start at 6 months. I thought for a baby this young short but frequent visits were more beneficial. I am not one who is trying to keep her from her father at all. I believe it is essential for them to have a relationship, but at a pace that is good for my daughter. I was just seeing if anyone has any advice for me. The other day she had her first nine hour day. She came back kind of in a daze like she was lost. It took her 24 hours of being exhausted, fussy, and dazed until she came back to her normal self! My only worry is that I am going to do something that will harm her in the long run. I was just wondering if anyone has been through this same situation! Thanks for all the advice! The judge kept saying if yall cant agree i am going to do something that makes yall both mad. I didn't think that was the purpose I thought we were tehre for the best interest of our daughter.. I guess it just depends what Judge you get?!
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Answers
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Aug 4, 2008, 05:24 PM
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#2
| | | Expert
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: NY State
Posts: 10,904
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by hnm3208 Hello,
My daughter is four months old. Me and my husband split up when I was about 7 months pregnant. For the first four months he saw her 3x a week for 2 hours at a time at our house. This worked pretty good considering I had to go in and help him get her quite at times so I think he felt more comfortable here. Last week he took me back to court for more time. He got 2 two hour days and 1 nine hour day, and at 6 months overnight visitation starts. Everything I have read said overnights are not recommended until she is 3 years old. I have showed him all my research and that it might have negative effects but he still pushes for them and the judge was a visiting judge that day who ordered they start at 6 months. I thought for a baby this young short but frequent visits were more beneficial. I am not one who is trying to keep her from her father at all. I believe it is essential for them to have a relationship, but at a pace that is good for my daughter. I was just seeing if anyone has any advice for me. The other day she had her first nine hour day. She came back kind of in a daze like she was lost. It took her 24 hours of being exhausted, fussy, and dazed until she came back to her normal self! My only worry is that I am going to do something that will harm her in the long run. I was just wondering if anyone has been through this same situation! Thanks for all the advice! The judge kept saying if yall cant agree i am going to do something that makes yall both mad. I didn't think that was the purpose I thought we were tehre for the best interest of our daughter.. I guess it just depends what Judge you get?! |
It sounds to me like you can't agree and so y-all will have to go back in front of the Judge and let him make a decision, particularly if the visitation is adversely affecting your daughter. | |
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Aug 4, 2008, 05:27 PM
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#3
| | Vision Expert
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Vancouver, Washington
Posts: 4,550
| Let the judge know that what you are interested in is the best interest of the child, and that's what you want the decision based on. Present to the judge your research. This will show initiave, and that you really want what's best for the child.
Or perhaps let your husband spend the night with her at your house.... | |
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Aug 4, 2008, 06:33 PM
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#4
| | Ultra Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,178
| Ive never heard of any 3 year rule. It sounds more like your being a worry wart. In most cases it may be common to put off overnights for the first year at most is all. You didnt mention anything really being wrong with the baby upon her return. It sounds like baby might have gotten over stimulated and thats more then likely normal on the first long trip out. Try to relax and get comfortable with things because if he stays in her life then he will be asking for more and more time as she gets older. | |
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Aug 4, 2008, 07:13 PM
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#5
| | Ultra Member
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,192
| I really don't see a judge taking back his visitation since there was nothing really wrong with the baby other than being "dazed" which I would expect after her first long visit. It will get better with time. | |
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Aug 4, 2008, 08:04 PM
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#6
| | Ultra Member
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,192
| Post being refered to has been deleted, FC
This fine sound advice however, this is a LEGAL board. Legally there is nothing wrong with the father having prolonged visits with his child. You can present this information to the judge but I really don't think it will be something that he/she hasn't already heard. In an ideal world the child would have both parents with them through the night and day... we don't live in an ideal world. While there are a few states that won't allow overnights with the ncp before 12 months there aren't any that I know of that would put it off longer than that. The child has two parents be glad both of his want to be involved!!!! | |
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Aug 4, 2008, 09:01 PM
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#7
| | | Christianity Expert
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Atlanta GA
Posts: 29,150
| One has to remember the fathers legal rights, and that the father will get visits at his home, not yours, in fact it is not fair to force him to have to visit at your home, esp ifyou are a X. I am surprised he did not go for supervised visits somewhere else without you. He has that right if he does not wish to be around you.
next yes of course he will get overnights, I am surprised he did not get alot more, if you push it, most likely he will go for full weekends, even longer.
We are seeing more and more joint where each parent gets the child for equal time. | |
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