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Not ready to be a Dad but girlfriend will not give up for adoption!
Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ˝ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
I have a son, and from some of the posts on this thread, I can honestly say I would be ashamed to be a mother to some of you young men. How disgraceful and short sighted and selfish to be worrying only about your own well being when it is a fact that the more often you have unprotected sex, the higher degree of risk.
I am just shaking my head and wondering if you were raised at all or if you were, why did you not listen to your parents? If you feel this way about children now, don't expect to change a lot. If you are dishonerable now, you will always be if that is your desire. Heaven help you, for blessings are not likely to flow in the direction of the selfish.
I am afraid that many of you who put the child last and play the blame game toward the woman will eventually be sifting through the sand and looking for your treasures, at he end of your lives. You may only find sand in the end. How sad.
Either your a man or your not, you take care of what you have brought into this world. And be very proud of what you've done. I am and all the excuses mean not a dog gone thing at all.
The system cares about one thing and only one thing and that is the kid ; that his/her needs are adequately provided for without being a burden on society.
First no one will fully understand till the shoe is on the other foot (Fact). Now onto child support. Let’s assume a man loses his job and has trouble finding a new job, let’s say that a year or more passes and still no job. The father regardless if he wants or did not want a child can try to file a motion to have his support reduced and I can nearly guarantee the referee will not lower the support based on the new standard "Earning Potential" if the man was making 20.00 per hour and can’t find a job for more than 10.00 per hour or not even working, the court tells him he is capable of making 20.00 per hour and this is what the support will be based off.
Second, my wife's co-worker just got divorced he has custody of his child, the ex-wife has 2 other children by a different father. He currently makes more money than his ex-wife and the FOC refused to make her pay him child support based on this.
third, Support is ordered to reduce the need of state aid. Well regardless if a father is contributing or not, the mother can still collect the State Aid and milk society for her choices..
Snoop, let ME be clear. BOTH mother AND father should assume responsibility of the child. If the father has custody, then the mother SHOULD pay child support for the little one she helped bring into the world.
Let me pose a question to you, snoop. If your parents hadn't of wanted you, would there be an excuse for them to not support you financially while a child? Should accountability and responsibility go by the wayside?
I'll admit, I never asked for child support. I carried the financial burden alone. It was hard, but I did it. I did it FOR my child because I was victimized and the father was an alcoholic and a drug abuser. I did it and I made sure the father did not find out until my son could drive his own car. I take my responsibilities VERY seriously. It irkes me to see some guys snibbling about supporting the little ones who are innocent and need any and all help they can get.
By the way, most people do not collect state aid. How narrow minded to put single mothers in a box. I personally know a few who supported their children without help and by the skin of their teeth.
All men who feel this way avout supporting their own flesh and blood should learn better how to uyse a condom. Most women who find themselves pregnant and unmarried do not plan it...just as men don't always either.
Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ˝ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
I am not an expert, But i have been through a very similiar situation. I got pregnant, did not want a child yet, wanted an abortion. The father pleaded with me to hand over the child at birth and he would take on all responsibilities. Our relationship was not doing well and we had decided to split. His family got involved and begged me to have the child and hand it over. Seeing they wanted the child so bad, how could I not. We signed a letter stating this and that I hold no financial responsibilities at all and had it noterized. I moved out of the state and when the child was 15 his father fell on hard times and came after me for child support. My letter didnt stand up and wasnt even legal. Been paying child support for 2 years now and I have never met the child but at birth. And do to this I have no legal right to any custody. Get a lawyer please.
i agree and if you think about it women have all the rights for example the draft if there is a war where a draft is implemented its the men that must go and fight even if they dont want to fight and possibly die. Example 2 Men and women that commit the same crimes are very rarely sentenced the same and its a fact that their is huge sentencing difference between men and women even when the circumanstances are simular. men even live less than women this is a fact as well. A woman can use a child and the system to play with the farther but if a man where to attempt this they would be delt with severely by the court.
And finally like i said before consent is one thing being responsible for your act is another but i dont belive that the women schould have all the say weather to keep the child or not give it up or not if this is the way the women want it then men schould have the right to say i will not pay you have the ball in your court so play by yourself.
Well based on your quote a woman took any freedom of choice away during. If the mother is so sure that she wants a child and could careless what the man would like or whats best for a child, then the women should stand up and take her own responsibility for her actions and not look someone else to pay for her mistake.
So we have determined by opinion that once pregnant a man has no say. here is the only solution: Like the government continues to try to protect us from ourselves, they will need to rule based on the terms, conditions and financial situation of both parents.
Its actually sad that society has become what it has.
agree and if you think about it women have all the rights for example the draft if there is a war where a draft is implemented its the men that must go and fight even if they dont want to fight and possibly die. Example 2 Men and women that commit the same crimes are very rarely sentenced the same and its a fact that their is huge sentencing difference between men and women even when the circumanstances are simular. men even live less than women this is a fact as well. A woman can use a child and the system to play with the farther but if a man where to attempt this they would be delt with severely by the court.
And finally like i said before consent is one thing being responsible for your act is another but i dont belive that the women schould have all the say weather to keep the child or not give it up or not if this is the way the women want it then men schould have the right to say i will not pay you have the ball in your court so play by yourself.
Dude when you give consent you are taking responsibility for your actions. If you don't want that responsibility then 1. keep it in your pants 2 Have a vasectomy 3. Take your chances with birth control. DUH! Your attempts to enjoy the pleasure of sex without responsibility, or consequences, is immature and unrealistic and selfish.
ur feelings wil most likly change wen you hold ur child for the 1st time. thru out my pregancy i resented both my baby n th bloke that gt me preg. th father was gutd wen he found out 2. we both love our son. go easy on her bein preg is a hed f**k
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