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Not ready to be a Dad but girlfriend will not give up for adoption!
Help! My girlfriend of three years and I noticed changes in her body, so I urged her to get a pregnancy test. She waited until recently to discover that she was 13 weeks pregnant. Prior to all of this news, she was on the pill. I have openly expressed my non-interest in being a father now. I have also emphasized how she has no financial means to be a mother now. She makes little money, and I travel and work 70 hours a week and do well. This issue is breaking us up. We have discussed adoption and some days she says yes and others no. We have discussed abortion, but now at 15 ½ weeks, she is almost in her second trimester. Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet. She has declined all options and agreed to a “financial abortion” from me, as a result of my openly expressed concerns of not wishing to be a father, before her pregnancy, during her pregnancy (which is now just over 15 weeks), and this posture will not change after the pregnancy. How is this done? She has agreed to sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament.
The real issue, from a legal standpoint, isn't whether or not she's willing to sign away any potential responsibility on your part. Legally she can't sign away any child support that the child would be entitled to. It's more a question of whether or not you're the father. The only way that can be proven is through a DNA test. If one is never done. then it'll never be proven that you're the father and you won't be able to be held legally responsible. The best bet would be for her and you to sign an affidavit that she will never ask the court to compel you to submit to a DNA test, as this is the first and most crucial test in child support proceedings. Have an attorney draft it up for you, you both sign it and the attorney notarizes it. That's your best option.
Back in 1999 my girlfriend at the time told me she was pregnant. I was already paying over $400 dollars a month for my first child with my first girl (on my first time!). She toyed with the idea of abortion at first, to my relief. The next week she wanted to keep it. I, like you, expressed my feelings toward being a father. She seemed like she didn't care what I felt. I told her, and I was serious, that I wouldn't be around at the time of birth, because I wasn't going to take any food. And from then, until she had it aborted, I took no food.
You can't be proud of that action are you? I wish she had the baby and we'd see how long you would have lasted with no food, I think thats so sick, KILL the baby or I don't eat. Stupid.
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Again, I am openly expressing to her that I do not want to be a father yet.
If you didn't want to be a father why did you keep pokin' her with your thang? Thats what happens when you have sex and the only 100% birth control is abstinance. Its too late to argue, so go cry in your room and get over the kid stuff because now its time to ..............be a MAN. Quite whining and do the right thing.
So Notreadytobeadadyet...what happens when your gf has this child and someday your son or daughter comes looking for you? What are you going to say to him or her? What will be your excuse for not being there for them growing up? Will you tell them the truth or will you still be a coward and hide from them?
Maybe you would change your mind if you went to his or her birth. Then you could see that this little miracle might have your eyes or your nose and when they grow up they might have your sense of humor or maybe your laugh. How can you throw all that away? You're not just giving up a life with your child, but a life with your girlfriend as well...she must not mean much to you...poor girl...
The majority of us men here probably were not ready to be a father but once we accepted the fact that a baby was coming we got ourselves ready. Thats the difference between MEN and boys, Men do what the have to do for their family. So while I understand the fear I bet once you see your child in person you will stand up and do what your supposed to do.(I HOPE ,at least) Or you could be like most of the so-called males out there and run for the hills looking for the easy way out. Your choice, make the right one. The changes a child makes in your life are positive ones .........For a MAN anyway.
I am 22yrs old, was on the pill and fell pregnant. I am currently in my third trimester. I too was not ready to be a mum and my boyfriend left me because of the baby. I have some input you will not like...you need to take a good look in the mirror...stop being so selfish...this is not about you...this is about your girlfriend and her unborn child. If that is your attitude, then you have no respect for her. She and the little one are better off without you. Its her body and her life...she is the one it effects the most and she should be the one to decide what happensa ndn you should support her no matter what. You are a selfish, heartless and above all cruel man and you need to have you head read. Some men and women cannot have children so appreciate the fact that you can. Grow up and get a life.
NB: Take note of my Aviatar too - thats the scan pic of my daughter due this December. Thats what your baby almost looks like now...something for you to think about.
First of all... Inla_bomber... I would've let you STARVE!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Second... notreadytobeadadyet... I agree with everyone here but "Mr. Bomber"!!! My sister became pregnant the first time she ever had sex! She lost her virginity from her boyfriend. Needless to say, he found out she was pregnant, asked her to get an abortion and she refused! In our family, abortion isn't an option! My sister never heard from her boyfriend again! He changed his number and (seriously) moved out of state! Pretty drastic measures because you didn't want to care for your "flesh and blood"!
Having a child is a very scary thing when you're not ready! I was not ready and my sister was not ready to be "mommies"! I worked three jobs for years and now I only work two jobs! I did what I had to because I was the parent and my actions were "molding" my child! Although I get childsupport, my sister doesn't! Her little boy is sooooo very cute and looks alot like his dad! To bad the S.O.B. with never know his son!
If you were not ready to have a child then you should have kept your "willy" in your pants! If you can't take the responsibility that comes with having sex then you SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX!
What goes around... comes around! He (and you if you abandon this child) will get your "just due" in the end! You will have to answer to the big guy!!!
"...sign off on anything that would bind me to child support including not listing my name on the forthcoming birth certificate. Does this have to be on a legal binding document in case she changes her mind five years from now? As of now it’s simply on a word document that she and I have signed. We are not married, and I have not planned on having a child. She simply was not religious in taking her birth control pills on time and as a result, we are in this predicament..."
First,…off… if, she is a minor… any contract she signs as a minor is not binding in any court of law…the contract needs to be supported by the parents ( that means yours too). You are now a parent! Get use to it…Things will change once you see the baby///maybe the baby will be a mini you…buy him a motorcycle too…he will like girl watching just like you…there is nothing more of a girl magnet…then,… when you are walking with your mini you through the mall and or the park…Wow… what a life…
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