How to ask 23 yo daughter to vacate the house?

irenesf · #1 Jul 22, 2008, 10:40 AM

She just came back from rehab and the same friends, same partying and I assume drugs, too. She has no work and no money. All her jobs lasted 1-2 months the most. She was asked to be home regular days by 12 midnight. But she keeps coming home in 6-7am...Any suggestions? Where would she sleep with no money...?

Justwantfair · Jul 22, 2008, 10:59 AM

From personal experience. Sometimes you have to cut the ties, no matter how much it hurts to do so. An abuser has to hit rock bottom and right now you are enabling her to continue the behaviors. I would try to attend some ALANON functions, it's AA for family members and it can be very helpful to talk to people who can relate to loving a drug abuser.

0rphan · Jul 23, 2008, 01:23 PM

You've obviously done the softly ,softly bit, it's now time for the cruel to be kind bit.

I would approach her one last time, lay it on the line ,if she wants to remain under your roof she obeys your rules.

She is your own flesh and blood and you love her, but at the moment the only person she is thinking of is no'1...herself.

When she is in a reasonable state of mind, put it to her that her late nights and her behaviour is affecting your health, therefore if she cannot carry out your wishes regarding house rules( after all mid-night is late enough) then she must go. Tell her that if she is not in the house by the time you go to bed, then the door is locked and bolted and she must sleep elsewhere.

Tell her if she continues to break the rules, then you will get an order against her that will phsycally remove her from the house, also preventing her from coming within the vicinity of where you live.

Explain to her that you love her but cannot go on living your life under her cloud, if she can dry out and get herself together and remain that way for a specific time then you will support her in every way.

I know this sounds very harsh, but as long as you let her she'll carry on the way she is, a few years down the line, you'll be a nervous wreck,..... only God knows where your daughter will be if she doesn't change .....NOW



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