I am currently pregnant and I am debating on putting the father’s name on the birth certificate. The father and I were married about 6 years ago. We have been divorced for about 4 years ago. When we went through the divorce, there were a lot of custody issues. He wanted his family to raise her since he works and is unable to get her. They would have rather pass her around different family members than to have her raised by her mother, all because she was the first grand child. I wanted her to have a stable life with me. They were arguing that "family" keeping her was better than me putting her in daycare while I was at work. This "family" they were referring to was a different person, when they could. Nothing would have been consistent. Of course, this did not happen, the court ruled against it, but it was very expensive and VERY hard. And, although we did not have to go there, but his family has a lot of heavy drinkers that can easily be called ALOCHOLICS. I can not afford to go through that again. I think that I am the best choice for my children. And not to mention, my 4 year old daughter caught her father in bed with another woman having sexual intercourse. On his weekends to see her, if he could not get someone to keep her, he would take her with him. He would bring her home with out a car seat, unbuckled. One time he was drinking when he brought her home, and one time, he got a ticket bringing her home. He did not have her in a car seat and was speeding. My question is, if I put him on the birth certificate, what right does this give him? Will I have to give him visitation right away or at all? Now, I am pregnant again by him. We have been trying to work things out for our daughter, but I get the feeling that as soon as my son is born, he is going to try to take him and run. He has said this and you can tell by his attitude. This is a boy, the first boy in 25 years; I know that if it comes down to it, they will try to keep him. Last time, even with the divorce in place, they would call some time and say that they were going to keep my daughter additional time because they wanted to. I would have to petition the court to try to get her back. All this, even though we had a final divorce decree that had everything spelled out. I want to avoid this. How can I avoid this? Please advise me?? Please help, I only have a few more days to decide.

PREGNANT AND UN

if it matters, I am in Georgia

N0help4u

Why when you had so many issues trying to work it out for your daughters sake would you keep sleeping with him and get pregnant again to put your new baby in the same problem as your daughter. Now that it is where it is.....
Trying to work it out for the sake of the kids is often the worst thing you can do for the sake of the kids. Often bad relationships are the worst thing you can try and work out because
they usually don't work out and the kid(s) grow up with a bad example of a role model.

In your situation the best thing to do is 'cut him off' until your relationship is on the right track, Sex just complicates your problems more in many ways.
The best thing to do is name the father on the birth certificate and go after him for support.
Since the court ruled in your favor before I am sure they will rule the same because of the unstable circumstances you have mentioned.

stinawords

It always matters where you are because each state has different laws. Honestly, you are going to have to go through the same thing again no matter if you put him on the birth certificate or not because he can just petition the court for a DNA test and when the test comes back showing it is him the judge will order the b/c be changed anyway. The fact that you got pregnant again by the same man that you talk so badly about will not look good in court (or anywhere else but court is what really matters). You should really get a lawyer to start working on your case right away.