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nedia · Nov 9, 2008, 08:02 AM

I just got married and my husband has to move out of state for better job opportunities. My Grandfarther lives alone there too. He still thinks he is 20yrs. And been doing projects he shouldn't be doing and injuring himself. He needs me out there to look after him. But I have a child from another relationship and we were never married. We are now going to court to so I can leave. Can he stop me from leave?

excon · Nov 9, 2008, 08:27 AM

Hello nedia:

IF he has visitation, and it appears that he WILL, you will not be allowed to violate THAT court order. If the order calls for him to visit every other weekend, YOU'RE going to have be around to adhere to that order.

excon

nedia · Nov 9, 2008, 08:50 AM

We never went to court on custody until now. I didn't want to move until I had it in writing that I could in case he would call the cops for kidnapping. We only went to court for child support which is not much (doesnt even cover diapers). My husband and I would provide a better life for my son. There just isn't jobs her we've tried for months and are barly getting by. My husband bought a house out there already.

excon · Nov 9, 2008, 08:58 AM

Hello again, nedia:

It doesn't matter that you haven't been to court before. The fact that you're going NOW is all that counts.

And, I don't disagree with you that you'll be better off if you move... The KEY here is, will you CHILD be better off WITHOUT his natural father... The court will say NO. The child will be better off having a relationship WITH his father. So, in my view, the court will NOT let you go.

By the way, WHERE you live isn't germane. VISITATION with the father IS germane. So, if you can assure the father that he'll get HIS visits, then you can live anywhere you like. The COSTS of those visits, however, will be borne by YOU if YOU'RE the one who moved.

excon

cadillac59 · Nov 10, 2008, 04:42 PM

The child's father probably can stop you from leaving if you are locked into a parenting plan you will not be able to honor if you moved. That's one way to look at it. Or, your custody orders may specifically enjoin you from moving out of state without his permission or a court order so you need to review any orders you have carefully (in Calif. We often include a provision in custody orders that states that the custodial [i.e. >50% time parent] will give 45 days written notice by certified mail of his/her intent to change the child's residence out of state).

Your thread is about "mother's rights"- one comment about that. Being female does not grant you greater rights than those of a male- there is no preference for moms over dads in the law or, as some might say there is no gender discrimination in the law (of course, in California there is now with respect to the rights of same-sex couples to marry as a result of the recent vote of an immoral majority which chose to write bigotry into our state constitution, but that's another matter).

Fr_Chuck · Nov 10, 2008, 04:54 PM

Yes, if you did not have a order or if in the old order there was nothing stoping you, you should have left, he could have done nothing

But now that you are in court if the bio father has been visiting the child on a regular basis, yes they can stop you, most courts will not take his rights to visit away. You may have to make arrangements for paying for taking the kids to see him and allowing extended times of visit during the summer, christmas and more to get him to settle.