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I'm engaged to a man that has a 6 year old daughter. Because of the mother, he didn't see his daughter from the time she was almost 2 until she was over 4 years old. He finally got to speak with his daughter when she was almost 5 years old (by this time she didn't know he existed) because the mother went to Federal Prison for 15 months and his daughter was living with her maternal grandma. THe mother got out of prison last summer and has custody of their daughter. There is a custody order granting my finace' visitation every other weekend and reasonable phone access. We lived over 300 miles away from her so we couldn't make it to see her very often. (about every month and a half or 2) The mother never allowed his ordered visitation. She always made the rules about the times he got her which was never more than 5 hours. She didn't even let my finace' talk to his daughter on father's day. The last time he saw his daughter was in April even though he's tried to see her since. The mother never answers the phone when he calls so he hasn't even spoken to his daughter since april either. We now live just a couple miles away from his daughter but the mother ignores all phone calls and emails and knows we live close to her now. Our only option is to go to court since she has told us in the past that she doesn't have to follow any court order and not to mess with her "because we know what she's capable of." Do we have any chance here? She is a pathalogical liar and we don't want her lies to make things worse when we go to court. We are writing down everything that happens. Any advice on how to prepare for court?
Also...the mother has a live in boyfriend that my fiance's daughter calls daddy. She calls my fiance' mostly by his first name. Once in awhile she calls him daddy. But she does know that he is her "real daddy". She also asked to stay the night with us every time we saw her and would get upset when we said she couldn't. (the mother won't allow it) The last time his daughter asked her mother if she could stay the night with us, the mother responded "No honey. Cause when you wake up in the middle of the night I won't be there! You're going to wake up saying 'Wah wah, I want my mommy!' and I won't be there for you. SO you can't stay with your daddy."
Get a lawyer who is familar with parental estrangement issues-- they can be some amazing help in this. He/she will want to see the divorce papers and all the documentation you have. From what I have seen, judges are not keen on visitation orders being disregarded and the penalties for those who do are stiff. The divorce papers may even stipulate who pays for legal fees in parental estrangement circumstances. I have heard judges chastise the custodial parent for not maintaining a good image of the other parent with the child since they now know what sort of damage that does to children. The law is on your side. Good luck.
They were never married. We're hoping the judge won't like her disregarding his court order but she was a way of manipulating people so who knows. She's in therapy and so is my fiance's daughter so I'm sure she's feeding the therapists full of BS and will want them to testify against him.
In general she is in contempt, she can not set up the rules, of when he can visit, the court does that. Get the attorney to make specific times to visit. Also when the mom went to prison, how come he did not get at least temporary custody, her mother does not automaticly get the kids, you go back to court on rhe day she is sentneced to get temp custody while she was in jail.
in child support, child custody, you will most likely be visiting the court at least once a year if not more. By the time my two boys were 14, I had been back to court at least 14 times, and had won temp custody, lost temp custody at least 3 times and so on.
It's a long story as to why he didn't get custody of his daughter when the mother went to prison. He wasn't notified of anything until after the mother was sentenced.
The current custody order has specific times he is supposed to have his daughter. This order has been in effect for over a year and he has yet to get the full amount of time with his daughter. He is supposed to have 9 hours both days on the weekend and he hasn't had more than 5 hours.
Him and his ex even decided on 2 days a week he would call and at certain times and she still won't answer the phone. She says she's not going to wait around for him to call even though he has only 2 hours in which to call. THe one time every other month or so that she does answer the phone, she says his daughter doesn't want to talk because she's busy doing something else. And now his ex says he can only call once during a month that he can't visit his daughter...otherwise she says it's harassment to their daughter.
Take her to court!!!!! I don't think she spent enough time in the pin. Gah. Your situation frustrates me. I'm actually REALLY mad for you and your fiance. That lady doesn't deserve custody...And it is incredibley clear that she is insane.
Basically we have no money to take her to court. We can't really figure out why anyone would let her have custody. She knows the law really well. She has another daughter that she doesn't have custody of but she's slowly getting more visitation with her and she represents herself in court. She's getting this much done without a lawyer. SHe's very smart and very manipulative. She can lie right to your face, you'll know she's lieing, but she can still convince you to believe her. In her psych evaluation at her hearing, they said she was a pathalogical liar and had been abused as a child and had mental issues. Not sure of the specifics but I guess they basically said she was crazy. We're trying to get the transcripts from that hearing but so far we've had no luck. The guy handling it won't call anyone back. Don't know if that will help us or not.
Imagine how frustrated and mad my fiance is. IT's really wearing him down. And it makes me just as mad but I can't imagine not being able to see my own child. Especially when we only live about 10 miles from her.
Don't wait to seek legal help. It may be possible that you can make payments over time or some other arrangement. Please don't wait too long --the discouragement to you and the alienation to the child only grows. Get busy making phone calls to find out what's out there to help you.
Make sure you document everything. Get yourself a good lawyer. My son is going through the same mess. He has had access to his child but the mother is doing a real head job on the child. Sick mothers can ruin a child. Good luck.
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