Ever since day one she has been lying to me an I could never do anything about because I never found out the truth until way after the matter and had already became attached to her. Now in her biggest debacle she lied to me for over a year about the paternity of our daughter and would have continued to lie to me if it weren't for me finding the evidence on myspace. Now we are broken up and everything and she won't let me see my son who is 100% mine and she will not let me see him until I take her to court which she is going to force me to get supervised visitation with in which I have to pay for I already pay child support and am broke as it is but she will not let me see him any other way. Its ridiculous she gets away with all these horrible things and I am seemingly powerless to stop it. Can and will there be justice if I pursue full custody under the grounds that she has commitment/honesty issues and it stems from her mother lying, cheating, and taking advantage of anyone she can exp.(she has four children amongst three different men and at the moment she is digging for gold with a gentleman that has no relation to her children watsoever not to mention she is completely psychotic but none of them would admit it because of the iron grip she has on their minds ) I already see my ex going down this path and I do not want my child and her child to have to live with it I have already seen the damage it causes and hope with all of my being something can be done


Please help

How is she going to "force" you to get supervised visitation? On what grounds? If you are the legal father, she has to be able to prove her rational for demanding supervision... which she may or many not get.

What state are you in? Why haven't you gone to court sooner to get visitation? The mother can not force you to get supervised visitation, only a judge can order that if she has proof of why it is needed. Did you pay support by order or were they gifts that the two of you arranaged? Yes, I said gifts because if not by court order and paid as the court ordered they do not count.

It's not likely that you can get full custody. And she also can't force supervised visitation only unless the court orders it. She might ask the court to do that but she'll have to show good cause and that'll take more than just a fabricated lie. Family Court judges as used to adversarial parties disparaging one another so anything said by either her or you is going to be taken with a grain of salt. Your best bet would be to ask for joint physical and legal custody.

I am in Illinois and I just found out after a year of being this child's father that she is not mine and I do not know where to start and I paid child support for my son but she never took me back to court for the girl which now I know why and I always kind of knew and even confronted her but she insisted on lying about it until I found proof and at the moment I am living with a friend since I moved out and she considers this place and my parents home an unfit place which I can't even deny that myself but I have brought up just going to parks and what not until I can get back on my feet again but she insists on making this as hard on me as possible and I also have her own friends saying that she is a horrible person and she doesn't deserve the right to the children

So, as of now you have no court ordered visitation correct? If that is the case you need to file in court for visitation, I would forget the custody thing because if you agree that it isn't fit for having a child live obviously that wouldn't be in the best interest of the child.

Yes I am going to do this but she has already stated she wants supervised visits why I don't know she says its because she doesn't trust me which is a bunch of bull I have always done right by my children and I do everything in my power to make them happy. Yes it is obvious but could I make it known to the courts that when I get my life on track and everything that I want to pursue full custody and is there any way I could make it to where she has to pay for all the court costs considering she created this mess and only wants to make things worse for me

If you WANT TO, you can also request visitation with the girl as well, if you would like to, as you were her provider for all that time, they may grant it to you. When my husband and I were about to get a divorce (we worked it out) he was specifically asked by his lawyer if he wanted to push the issue on my duaghter, who is his step daughter, and seeing her after the divorce, because the lawyer said sometimes the judge will allow it.

I can't say if this is the way it is in Illinois, or if you would even be allowed, but its worth a try if you want.

First, of all, forget what SHE wants. Learn what the law ALLOWS. She will not, necessarily, get her way without justification.

Second, you may not be that little girl's bio father, but, if you signed the birth certificate you are her legal father. In most states, when a child is born to a married couple, the husband's paternity is assumed unless challenged. And that challenge may need to be mounted within a fairly short window. So the probability is that you are the legal father of that little girl and will likely remain so.

Third, you NEED to go to court over this IMMEDIATELY. File for FULL custody of BOTH children. You probably will not get it, but file for it anyway. You have reasonable grounds (she had an affair) to ask for it.