| long distance marriage
Hi there,
I'm 24 years old with a 22 month daughter. I've been married for the past 5 years, but haven't lived with my husband for long. He keeps me away from him on one pretext or another. So, we are always apart. Now that I have a daughter I want my husband to be there for her while she's growing up. He last saw her when she was only 6 months old.
I asked him to call us on a residence visa to Saudi Arabia (he's working there presently). But he said he cannot get a permanent residence visa for us and instead called me on a 3 months visit visa. I came back after staying just 2 months as he made my life unbearable. After coming back, he's not even mentioning calling me there again nor is he making any plans for us to stay together. Its always been like this. He always shows me the obstacles and troubles he'd have to face if he keeps me with him. Sometimes I just wonder if he really likes to remain married to me or not. He doesn't even love our daughter that much. I mean i've seen how father's dote on their daughters. My husband is not attached to my daughter that much. He sends me money for her upkeep but the amount is not enough, and he gets thousands of riyals as salary. But if I ask him abt this, he starts abusing me fighting me, beating me etc..Otherwise he's a very strict Muslim, he prays, fasts, gives charity, looks after his old Mom and sister.
But I don't understand why he behaves with me in the opposite manner. Ours was an arranged marriage, so maybe he doesn't like me, but its too late for that now. I'm a beautiful and intelligent girl and even my in-laws are all jealous of me. They poison my husband's ears against me. I don't know what to do, I've thought abt divorce many times but on what basis? He supoorts me financially, is a good Muslim, sometimes he's violent but not always and when we're together he is very nice. But the problem is he doesn't stay with me and doesn't want to. We sleep in different rooms even when we're together. He's not comfortable with intimacy, so I have to be very prim and propah in front of him and his family. His mother objects if we are in the same room, or if we go out, talk to each other etc.. So, to respect his Mom he keeps a distance from me whenever we're together.
My feelings for him are fading, because of this attitude. I loved him very much but now I'm not sure. I can't leave him for my daughter's sake. U know how Muslim families are?! They will not blame the man, they will only blame the woman. advise what I should do? don't ask me to divorce him as its not possible in our society, and moreover I have to think about my daughter's future also. He's overall a good man, but doesn't stay with me and even if I force myself on him, comes up with excuses to run away or send me away or keep away.
Sorry I've written a rather looooong msg. Thanks! :-/
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