How do I legal have my 18 year old stepdaughter removed from my house..
all she does is eat ,sleep and party....shes on juvy probation,,mother wont help tries to protect her no matter what she does...a spoiled brat who cant hold a job nor has she finished school...my love for her mom may not be strong enough to keep them both.
i have parkinsons and this stress is more than i can handle.....love mom hate daughter...

Fr_Chuck

Ok as long as mom says the girl can stay, not much you can do.

You have to tell mom that she has to go or else and be ready to live up to it. ( if she is violating her probation, report her to the probation officer)

andrewcocke

I will also add, that if I were in your shoes and my wife just REFUSED to accept the problem that has happened, I would personally be trying to find an apartment for myself.

Most spouces are supportive however when it comes time to give an unruly "adult child" a little hard love.

Im waiting for the day when our 7 year old says "when Im 18, you cant tell me what to do!". My wife and I both look at each other and grin...

Shes right, I cant tell her what to do, not as long as shes in the my house.

You needs to set house rules. If she is out of school, she needs to get a job and pay rent. You need to give her a warm welcome into the adult world.
She needs to learn that life isnt about parties and sleeping, and god knows what else.
You wife needs to back you. If not then you might want to consider leaving, afterall, its easier to leave than to remove two people from your home.

As the child is 18, you two have no children, shouldnt be any fuss legally. Speak with a layer if you have any concerns.

JoeinOrlando

I understand what you are going through. I have a 18 year old step daughter and all she do is tell me to F-off and does nothing but eat, sleep, and watch Tv and internet(myspace). I dont know what to do either but if things dont get better I'm going to split cause I know the wife will pick her over me.

Joe in Orlando

valinors_sorrow

Actually, this is what almost broke up my husband and I. I put his bratty kids down as the reason I wasn't coming home when they visited. Then I stayed with a girlfriend and he saw the light. His ex wife was empowering them to act up while here as a means of breaking up thier relationship with their father. It was all really sad and so very damaging to those kids too. If the biological parent doesn't deal with their offspring, then you must deal with the biological parent, your partner, and not the child to be effective.

LauraJane

Wow, I'm glad to see other people have the same problems. MY daughter is all the above and then some. Can't hold down a job, drinks smokes pot, eats, sleeps and doesn't pick up a thing. Then there's the violence and breaking stuff around the house. She is supposed to be on medication but won't because her doctor wouldn't prescribe her vallum. She is such a head case. She (we've) been in counseling for about 5 years. She has been on probation for about 2 years but got off when she turned 18. She started on probation for poisoning my food. I am the one in my family who wants her out. Everyone is afraid of her. She also has 3,000.00 in fines. My husband (her stepfather of 10 years) and Grandfather (only 5 blocks away) have this idea that we can save her. I can't see that happening. It's been 4 years of constant struggle. There are no hospitals for me to send her and I don't have the money to try much else. All the police do is give her tickets. And everyone else just says...kick her out. First off, I would need the support of my husband and my father (her grandfather) to do that. Plus, I do honestly believe she wouldn't make it. Heck, she doesn't want to change. She also constantly lies. Plus, I also have a 15 year old wonderful boy who is completely the opposite. Great head on his shoulders. He is the one who comforts me. I try not to lean on him though. It's hard when he finds me crying. I feel like I'm screwed until she ends up in jail or dead. My heart is breaking.

Chris in Alaska

Yes, it seems that misery loves company! I have an 18 yr old stepson who is doing the exact same thing. I too battle with my spouse over what to do with him. From an early age, he was a troubled child. We tried everything from medication, psychiatrists, psychologists, individual and family counseling. As parents we have tried every method known to cope and deal with his extreme behavior, all with varying degrees of success, but none that proved truly worthwhile. All of our efforts have been unfruitful and it seems like all we do anymore is put band aids on an increasingly infected wound.

I have been in the military for 16 yrs and my wife has worked in child development for the past 16 yrs. Although we have had our differences in dealing with and raising our children, we have always been able to compromise or finally come to an agreement. Now that our son is 18, we tend to disagree more and more. The problem is that our son has learned the art of deception and manipulation. He has admitted to me that he does not care about what I feel or want and that no matter what he does, his mother will always have his back. He thinks that I am afraid to discipline him or leave my wife if the situation is warranted. I am not afraid to make these decisions, but the real problem is that my wife and I love each other and have no other reason for divorce other than the fact that she cannot let go. I agree with her that our son clearly has mental issues, but as I stated before, none of the treatment methods proved effective. My wife and I are discussing another course of counseling, but I am not sure he will be willing to attend. Although my wife and I have agreed to continue to seek help and services for him, I feel that it is past time for him to show some personal responsibility for his actions and respect to the hands that feed him. His daily routine consists of sleeping odd hours, internet and video games. He rarely does his chores and when he does, they are not to our household standard. He also scoffs at the rules of the house and when he is corrected, he shows more contempt towards me because I do not tolerate his laziness, rudeness, and/or disrespectful attitude. He says that I am constantly trying to pick a fight when I ask or tell him what he needs to do. He also says that I have no right to tell him to do anything since he is 18 and an adult. Me and his mother both agree that he is wrong with this last statement, but his mother is blinded by her love for him and does not see his manipulation or disrespect. She tries to find a positive in all his actions, even the most devious ones and does not hold him accountable. She also allows him to sell his responsibility instead of him just saying that he is at fault and owning up to it. It makes me so angry that when I try to defend her or discipline him for bad behavior, she ends up getting angry with me for getting angry! I am definitely stuck between a rock and hard place!

We also have another son who will be 13 soon. He has begun to emulate some of the same behavior patterns as his older brother. He is a great kid, but recently he has begun to fail school and has begun to show signs of strange and unexplained illnesses. He has missed more school this year due to illness than ever before. We have had physicians check him out, but so far, all tests have come up negative. I am deeply concerned that all the fighting and arguments have affected him physiologically and begun the cycle of behavior problems in him as well. I want to get him freed from his current environment, but I fear that divorce will only lend to his problems. The only healthy option that I can see is that his brother needs to move on. My wife wants me to hold on for 5 months until summer (we live in Alaska), but I don’t think I can even make it another month. I think that we have been waiting around for him to get it together for too long as it is!