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My ex husband and I have been divorced almost 4 years now and he hired an attorney to handle our divorce since I couldnt afford one. We had three children in this marriage and we both agreed to joint physical and 50-50 shared custody of the children. We both have worked together for the last few years and both been satisfied with the situation. He recently got remarried and now the kids have a new stepmom. In the meanwhile, I had to move in with my mother because my income is so low. I then met my boyfriend and him and I recently got a small duplex. I am now unhappy with the situatuon because I cant really afford to keep a roof over my kids head. I only can do it because of my boyfriend. I still am asked from my ex to pay half of everything...school, camp, sports and so on. I pay it and then I struggle bad to make my car payment and rent. I am entertaining the idea of modifying our no support order to some support. The kids new stepmom told me I cant call after 9 to talk to my kids. I feel she is trying to replace me and I cant even afford anything for my kids. If my boyfriend left, I would lose my house and car. The kids are with me Tuesday and Wednesday nights and when its my weekend, I have them Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night. Do I have a chance to get some support?
Like I said, if you don't like your answers then stop reading them. Go see what your lawyer says and if all you have to pay him is 800 bucks you're getting quite the deal.
Like I said, if you don't like your answers then stop reading them. Go see what your lawyer says and if all you have to pay him is 800 bucks you're getting quite the deal.
Why quite the deal? I am not trying to modify custody which is expensive...just child support which is generally around 800.00 to do so if you want a lawyer.
Amanda,
We have rules on this site about being civil in your postings. That's why several of your posts have been removed or edited. If you continue ranting and attacking people trying to help you this thread will be closed.
I'm a little confused about something. In a situation where there is evenly shared custody there is generally no support with each parent paying for the kids while they are in their custody. If anything, the higher earner will contribute towards the lower earner.
In some of your removed posts you claim you that you are paying your ex and that doesn't make sense.
But the bottomline here is you nowhave an attorney, who knows the law and will be able to help get you a more equitable arrangement.
Amanda,
We have rules on this site about being civil in your postings. That's why several of your posts have been removed or edited. If you continue ranting and attacking people trying to help you this thread will be closed.
I'm a little confused about something. In a situation where there is evenly shared custody there is generally no support with each parent paying for the kids while they are in their custody. If anything, the higher earner will contribute towards the lower earner.
In some of your removed posts you claim you that you are paying your ex and that doesn't make sense.
But the bottomline here is you nowhave an attorney, who knows the law and will be able to help get you a more equitable arrangement.
That's right Scott. With joint, my lawyer is going after joint support as well, which is i pay him a third of my income and he pays me a third of his income...which equals out since his income is so much more than mine...that he will just be paying me....
You didn't quite answer my question. Are you paying him anything now? Is he paying you anything now?
I understand what your attorney is going for. Basically you will get the difference between 1/3 your income and 1/3 his. That seems reasonable. But I'm still not clear on what the current situation is. Since, you seem to be sharing custody equally, then you should each be paying for when the children are in your custody.
Maybe someone could help me understand this a bit better...
How is it fair that the father should have to pay for everything when the children are in his care, and also have to help support them when they are with their mother, if they share custody 50/50? I bet the father would also like to drop down to part-time work and spend additional time with his children, just like the mother is requesting.... I don't understand how this is fair?
Also, not trying to be rude, but if the mother cannot afford her children when she does have them, why did she have another child with the boyfriend? Please let me know if I am missing something here...
Maybe someone could help me understand this a bit better...
How is it fair that the father should have to pay for everything when the children are in his care, and also have to help support them when they are with their mother, if they share custody 50/50? I bet the father would also like to drop down to part-time work and spend additional time with his children, just like the mother is requesting.... I don't understand how this is fair?
Also, not trying to be rude, but if the mother cannot afford her children when she does have them, why did she have another child with the boyfriend? Please let me know if I am missing something here...
Ok I will help you understand. The father does not have to pay for EVERYTHING when the children are in his care. Do you understand that now? Ok good. He gave me three of his kids and then left me. I never worked when him and i were together. I took care of the children...I still do provide for my children. All he does is work and leave them with Stepmom...while I work too. Plus he asks me for money all the time and his income is so much higher than mine. Is that fair?
In my opinion, and this is just my opinion, I'm sure others would disagree with me, but.... his income should not have anything to do with it. It took BOTH of you to make those babies and it should be BOTH of your responsibilities to support them AND love them equally. If joint custody was agreed upon, then he should financially support them when they are with him and you should support them when they are with you. When it comes to items such as clothes, shoes, school supplies, etc. those items should be split and if he is the one doing the shopping, then yes, you should give him money or vice versa. In regards to the step-mom raising the children when he is at work, isn't his responsibility to provide a caring environment for them when the little ones are in his care and your responsibility to provide the care when they are with you and you are at work. Do you offer to let him "baby-sit" for you when you are working or vice versa? If so, maybe that is something the two of you could work out.
Plus he asks me for money all the time and his income is so much higher than mine. Is that fair?
This is the part I don't understand. At the very least, if you each have the children half the time, then you should each pay for the children only when they are in each's care. You should not be giving him money and vice versa.
If you do give him money I don't see why, unless its ordered by a court and if it is ordered by a court them you got the short end of the stick. So you are right to go back to the court for a modification.
In my opinion, and this is just my opinion, I'm sure others would disagree with me, but.... his income should not have anything to do with it. It took BOTH of you to make those babies and it should be BOTH of your responsibilities to support them AND love them equally. If joint custody was agreed upon, then he should financially support them when they are with him and you should support them when they are with you. When it comes to items such as clothes, shoes, school supplies, etc. those items should be split and if he is the one doing the shopping, then yes, you should give him money or vice versa. In regards to the step-mom raising the children when he is at work, isn't his responsibility to provide a caring environment for them when the little ones are in his care and your responsibility to provide the care when they are with you and you are at work. Do you offer to let him "baby-sit" for you when you are working or vice versa? If so, maybe that is something the two of you could work out.
We both support them and love them. Its just not equally. Children are not cheap and he makes enough money to provide for them without me. So then why does he ask me for money for this and that for things they do in his care...and then try to make me feel like a peice of crap Mom if I dont run him out a check???
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