After veiwing this sight of the questions regaurding signing over parental rights i decided to ask a question. why is it that the courts in Arizona just automatically assume that it is in the best interest to allow the mother to have custody of the child when they have no clue of her lifestyle and actions that led up to current situations or how she lives?? beings that my sister is a step mom to a daughter that her husband and her have never met she feels just as involved as her husband is in his case. her husband is an awesome father but due to the lifestyle of this woman and the fact from informants close to her that she was sleeping with up to 3 other men at the time of conception he knew that there was a 50/50 chance he could be the father. so since day one he and her had agreed to get a DNA test done he didnt think that any problems would arive, except the baby in question arrived early and not weighing as a premie would and other physical evidence surfaced throughout the past 9 months of the pregnancy. he had everything set up for her to take the DNA test at her convienence and she denied to take the test. why would the mother who knew 100% sure that he was the father deny to take the test, what mother does that? my brother n law had to get a court order on her to force her to take the DNA test. he wanted to know the truth and was tired of all the lies and rumors. due to her lack of confidence of who the father was after the birth it was such a long and drawn out process he finally knew the truth, he has a daughter and the child support has been established. now she is asking him to sign over parental rights, constantly saying that she doesnt want the money, she doenst want to be going back in forth to court everytime both of their lifestyles change. they would not be in this situation if she would have never denied to take the DNA test in the first place or if he was the only person that she had been sleeping with at the time. mind you reports had been brought to his attention from very close friends of her and even her family members that he may not be the father and she only said it was him because he had been the last one that she could remember sleeping with. so what should he do, he has never met his daughter nor has his side of the family and does know that he being in her life may be the best thing that she will ever have. and this being said after numerous threats on the mothers part of "when the DNA test comes back and she is yours you will have nothing to do with her only money." it makes one think what is really going on and what is she up to? so a man in his situation what should he do and if he does what needs to take place leagally to hold up in court? and if not what needs to be done to establish a realtionship (custody) with his daughter. should he fight for full custody knowing that she will be better taken care of??? thank you we as his family just want to know, we want only the BEST for her. already so much time has passed she's already three years old and considers her mothers current boyfriend her daddy and has never met her half brother and sister whom are already 5 and 7.

ScottGem

You are bitter, but we are only hearing one side of this story. It is true that many courts do tend to award custody to the mother without compelling evidence that she is unfit. That has been changing but slowly.

In your brother-in-laws situation, does he have an attorney? If not, he should. This should not have dragged on. The child's DNA should have been obtained at birth using a court order served on the hospital.

busybee17

from what he and my sister told me they tried to get it done in the hospital out of the courts. they thought everything was going to go through but right before the lab techs provided by the DNA center were to arrive she called it off. so then he filed on her through the county that they lived in at the time for a court order to make her take the DNA test. she basically sat on the paper work until the dead line and returned it right before there would have been a bench warrant out for her arrest for not showing up in court. and no he doesnt have a lawyer at this time. i feel so bad for my sisters mother n law. she still lives in the town that the mother and my niece live in and never gets to see her even though the DNA test provided by the courts came back that she is her sons daughter. and she has to watch her granddaughter grow in her mothers enviroment which has put her in very poor situations as far as health and safety. oh and why is it okay for the mother to have custody even though she drank throughout her whole pregnancy at the bars and local parties. answer me that, what if my niece has FAS due to her mother not being a mother! its a poor action that the courts do by not investigating any further on the "best interest of the child! the sad thing is, is she has 2 other kids that she to drank while pregnant after my niece was born.

ScottGem

Well first, your BIL made the mistake of not getting an attorney. If he had, there would have been a court order awating at the hospital. Second, ypou don't say what proof you have that the mother is unfit. This is again where an attorney would help. Finding the evidence etc. In fact, a decent attorney, would have gotten her put in jail for drinking while pregnant, thereby endangering the fetus.

Again, I understand your bitterness, but frankly, there appears to be a lot that could have been done, but wasn't because the father didn't want to invest in a lawyer.

busybee17

first of all he really didnt believe that the child was his due to her sleeping around and the dates were in question of him not even being in the state because he was gone to a conference. possibly she ovulated twice he doesnt know. but i do know this she has threatened my sister on many occasions and their are people that witnessed this as well as her drinking while pregnant. i do agree though he should have gotten a lawyer but once again her actions spoke louder than her words. and they were screaming that it wasnt his. on one side she was saying it was his baby and the other it was her boyfriends baby. but just to set the record straight he is in the prcocess of getting all the leaglities in a row now. it just made the situation worse that the DNA came back his. my sister wants to know, on the DNA results it had said due to him and the other men that were tested he can not be excluded as the father by certain DNA markers. NO other men took the DNA test not even her boyfriend. what the heck is that??? how is that true? do they need to get a court order for the other 3 men that she slept with to get a DNA test done as well on them? oh and the reason why there was no leagal action taken out in this matter during the preganancy was she had told him that she wanted the DNA test and that they had agreed on it, but since the baby cam early and weighed too much to be early....full term was more like it, she backed out due to her not being sure that he was the father. so to all you men in this situation if she says she want it and will get it when the baby is born, you better take the leagal action while she is pregnant and have a court order sitting on her hospital bed as she's wheeled in the room to deliver the child. you cant trust NO ONE in a situation like this!

ScottGem

That's my point, you can't trust anyone in this situation.

As to the DNA test, ask the lab to explain their findings. What it sounds like to me, is that there wasn't a conclusive match, but the DNA was similar enough that they couldn't say he wasn't the father.