Judykaytee,

Let me clear the confusion. I DID NOT contact her in anyway after she got the temporary restraining order against me. The emails that I sent her was when we were living separately and the last email was when I was served with the divorce order telling her for a reconciliation.

When she got the temporary restraining orders, my elders spoke to her parents to make a compromise and settle this down without anymore problems. My elders are in my home country and her parents are here. In spite of giving my elders assurance that they will be taking back the case and withdrawing the complaint, they backtracked in front of the judge and she told that she still wanted the final order. This is what upsets me and this is the reason the judge adjourned the case so that I can get an attorney. Till the final hearing the temporary restraining orders will be in effect.

As for that guy who came to serve me the papers, he is very clever. In front of me he told that he is a neutral party and did not know what was going on. I explained him the whole situation and in the process I abused and cursed my in laws for this divorce. They are making those abuses and curses sound as 'threats'. This is what also upsets me. They are driving me mad. I have also decided not to live in this state and move to another state where I have my relatives and cousins. This is I will tell the judge. Then why will she still need a restraining order? There is no point in granting one.

How did she get the initial restraining order if there was no contact? And you wouldn't be the first person to move out of town and then suddenly reappear at someone's door. If you aren't going to be around anyway, let her get the restraining order. What's the difference if she has it or not?

Again - I don't know if the process server was very clever or you were very careless (for lack of a better word). One way or the other, that's why you are where you are now.

Hi Judykaytee,

She got the initial restraining order on the basis of that person who served me with the divorce complaint. He is no official process server, just there family friend. He told her that I threatened her and she quickly acted on that and got it. It was actually a trap to set me up. I was living a peaceful life and my wife and my in laws messed up with me.

Well I am only worried because she is getting this restraining order under domestic violence which will have a very bad effect on my immigration case because right now I have a conditional green card which I have to make permanent once we get divorced. My record will have a bad spot and that's what I don't want to happen. I really don't care about the restraining order because anyway I don't want to have any contact with her but they want to falsely implicate me and open a criminal record against me and they will try to set me up again. This is the reason I don't want her to get the restraining order.

I was wondering how one can get the restraining order just like that without the defendant even contacting the plaintiff. This is the case of 'he said, she said'. In this case this guy has become the witness for them since he is their friend. My in-laws and wife can stoop down to any level because they are just taking revenge on me and can do anything to harm me. In this case I am not a threat to them, rather they are.

The restraining order law is perhaps the second most unconstitutional abomination in our legal system, after our so-called child protection (DSS) laws. The restraining order process is designed to allow an order to be issued very easily, and to be appealed, stopped, or vacated only with the utmost difficulty. It is the product of evil twisted minds, who have no respect for our traditional sense of justice or of the protections provided in our Constitution of due process of law. And they like it that way, thank you very much.
In thousands of ten minute hearings held , judges are now able to do what the Marxists have only dreamed of doing before now, and could never hope to do before they were able to use the pretext of 'domestic violence.' However, the real violence is almost always to the rights of the defendant, and to the Constitution itself, just as the elites intended.
In restraining order hearings, judges may ignore ALL traditional due process protections such as jury trials, the rules of evidence, the right to innocent until proven guilty, etc. They may also usurp several other dearly held rights, such as the right to be with one's children, to occupy one's own home and property, or travel where one pleases. No one has yet come up with so demonic a perversion of our legal system to match the breathtaking scope of the unconstitutional deprivations of this law.
He occurrence of one or more of the following acts between family or household members:
1. attempting to cause or causing physical harm;
2. placing another in fear of imminent serious physical harm;
3. causing another to engage involuntarily in sexual relations by force, threat or duress.

The clause which is most misused is (b) above, "placing another in fear of imminent serious physical harm." Often a mere allegation of fear, without showing a factual basis for that fear, is enough for a court to issue an order.
The worst feature of the restraining order law is that it allows a person to go to court and get an order, without the other person present. That means that any lie will do, since no one is there to rebut it. As a consequence, without any input in the matter, a person can lose their children, their home, their money, their guns, and their freedom. This is crueler tyranny than any civilized land has ever tolerated, and approximates the tactics of one Vladimir Ulyanov, aka Lenin, during the Bolshevik Revolution.
When the court issues an ex parte order, it sets up another hearing in about two weeks, with notice to the defendant, where he can come and argue his case. This is called a "return" day.

Many people do not realize how important this hearing is. Once it is held, usually for a pitiful few minutes, the order is rigidly set in stone for life. Courts do not warn defendants of the vast consequences of this hearing, and they are usually conducted quickly, without the niceties of constitutional protection in place.
If you are not so fortunate, and the judge issues an order, it will have a renewal date on it, usually a year later. The court will refuse to give you notice, and it will be easy to forget that date. This is yet another way that the deck is stacked against defendants.

Courts seem to automatically renew these orders, if the complainant wants one. You could have been perfect in obeying it, and it doesn't matter. If the person still wants it, it is issued, without any further evidence. Another of the many unconstitutional anomalies in the restraining order law.

The first step you must take to defend yourself against this deadly restraining order is to get a secret application and affidavit that the plaintiff filed at the ex parte hearing. The court will not tell you that these documents exist, so you must go to the clerk in the court where your order was issued, and ask for two things: the "application" for the restraining order and the "affidavit" that the complainant filled out.

The application will have statements on it as to why the person wanted the order. An 'affidavit' is a statement in writing, made under oath, of the facts supporting the application. Usually, they are both full of perjury, exaggeration, and down right lies.

When you go to the court to get them, give the clerk the "docket number", which is the case number on your order, and ask for the two documents. The clerk at the court may give you grief, but you are entitled to those documents. They are a public record, and even if they were not, you are a party to the case, so you should get them on that ground. You will have to pay a stinking 50 cent fee per page, but it will be well worth it.
At the hearing, you will use information and the documents to expose the plaintiff's lies, but you will also likely find that you have to deal with a new set of lies at the hearing, that is, what the plaintiff may say in addition to the documents. Once the complainant finds that you have studied the documents, and caught the person in lies, suddenly (and this almost always happens, so be ready) the plaintiff comes up with more information about what an abuser you are. So, don't be surprised; be prepared. Figure out in advance where the person is likely to shift ground, and be ready.
His is a list of possible ulterior motives for which the 'victim' may have sought a restraining order against you:

1. To gain an advantage in a divorce; (Some divorce lawyers routinely advise getting one.)
2. To quickly get custody of your children without a hearing;
3. To keep you from your children;
4. To stop you from modifying custody after your child expresses a desire to live with you.
5. To quickly put you out of the house without an eviction or a Probate Court hearing;
6. To allow the complainant to get a new boy/girlfriend into the picture, and you out;
7. To get vengeance;
8. To control or manipulate you, or get leverage in some way;
9. The 'victim' got sucked in by a victim-witness advocate who preyed on weakness;
10. To put you in jail;
11. To enjoy watching you suffer.
12. To get $$$$$$ and help from DSS or a victim group.
In order to successfully pursue this strategy, You must figure out which of these motives are behind the push for a restraining order against you. Then you must be able to bring some document or witness that will prove pretty strongly that the motive you allege is the REAL reason why the person is seeking the order.

Hi GV70,

I agree with every statement of yours. I will try to get those docs that you mentioned. My wife and in laws are evil twisted minds who just want to see me suffer and I also mentioned the exclusive reason in the last correspondence. I thank you again for your advice.

Regards,

Hi GV70 or anyone reading this email.

I want to give an overview of what exactly is happening in the court of law till now and based upon that, please let me know what is finally going to happen. I know that no one can tell me what exactly is going to happen but someone can give me an idea. I have been having nightmares constantly due to this. I am very tensed and feel very depressed. The brief background is. My wife has got a TRO against me and falsely alleged that I made terroristic threats to kill her and her mother when I was being served with divorce papers. The man who came to serve me that complaint is her family friend and very close to them. He is the witness here. Also a criminal complaint is also filed against me. I don't know where and what it says. I am only concentrating on revoking the permanent restraining order in the court.

Ist hearing: I go without an attorney. It was already decided between my parents and her parents after she got the TRO that if I sign the divorce complaint acknowledgment doc, they will be pulling back the false case against me and also the complaint of domestic violence. I was relieved because I wanted to avoid the court and legal tangles and thought that if this can be solved mutually, I will be saved from the misery. I believed in them, signed the doc and wait for the hearing. At the court in front of the judge to my shock, she says to the judge that she still wants the final restraining order when the judge asked her. I am devastated at this point. I tell the judge about the compromise episode between my parents and her. Hearing this judge tells me to come back with an attorney and adjourns the case for 10 days.

2nd hearing: I actively searched for a good family law lawyer and found one. We go for the second hearing with all the preparation. After waiting patiently for 3 hours since other cases were going on, the judge tells that since it is too late, we might as well come on some other day. My wife on the pretext of some exams appeals again to adjourn the case. The judge adjourns it again for 2 weeks.

3rd hearing: I go with my lawyer. The hearing begins. She still does not have any lawyer. She starts her side of the story. This time her witness is absent from the hearing. I can see the judge getting pissed off. She is unable to explain her side of the story because it has many legal ramifications. The judge asks her where her witness is, why she is without a lawyer and tells her that its been 36 days without the court giving a verdict and in most cases, the verdict is out in 10 days. He says this is causing the court, the defendant and my attorney a lot of inconvenience. Judge gives her a women's association number and address so that she can get one since she said she can't afford an attorney and gives her a final chance to get the witness in the court in the next hearing. Hearing is adjourned again. This is so damn frustrating.

Can someone tell me what to expect in the next hearing? Where is this case moving?

You learned your first lesson! You must not drink koolaid!/ as our member Excon would say/Did you recorded it?:confused::eek:
Yes-it was good.
Now you can understand how the system works... Probably she can get a lawyer/paid by us-taxpayers/.

GV70,

Thanks for your comments. But throw some light on the possible outcomes. I came to know that if she gets her final restraining order, I will be fingerprinted, photographed and my name will go in the domestic violence offenders list. Will these things happen when she gets the final order or if the defendant violates the order?

Also what about that criminal complaint. What do I do about that? Is my rap sheet open? Am I a convict? I don't understand these things. I also came to know that if I am fingerprinted, I won't clear background searches when I apply for jobs because the name would come up even if it's a civil order. Is this true?

Finally she and her family has vowed that they would get me jailed and deported out of US. Can they do this if she gets the restraining order. Please answer my questions GV70.

Im not understanding this fully but you keep saying criminal complaint ? If you have a lawyer and its true there is a complaint against you then they should be able to tell you. Anything criminal that doesn't come from this court would be a separate court ( usually divorce is considered civil and criminal is just that ). Your local DA would be the one that would prosecute the criminal charges. If you believe your under criminal investigation because of something called a bench warrant then you are mistaken. Those are a normal part of restraining order process that is issued to insure that you show up.

I did some research and I don't see anything for your state that has a domestic violence registry. It sounds like since you have a lawyer you are going to need to ask them more questions.

As far as a rap sheet have you been convicted before of a crime that could be related to these charges ? Are you out on parole ? Are you a legal U.S. citizen or in this country through permit ?

Hi califdadof3,

On the temporary restraining order it has been mentioned that a criminal complaint has already been entered by her. No I have not been convicted of any criminal charges. I am not a convict as of now. I am not out on parole. I am a legal permanent resident.

Hello Indianinus.

I saw your question and also at another website.

How is your situation on the I751 application after the harassments from you ex ?

I am in a similar situation and currently preparing to file the waiver. Would you please let me know the problems you had?

Hope you are doing well, since it has been a few yrs and recovered.

Thanks.