How to get custody of my grandchild

this8384 · Feb 8, 2010, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etiner

What is required to obtain custody of my grandchild? I have kept my grandchild 3 days a week in my home since their birth (he is 2 years old now). In addition to this I keep him anytime that his mother deems she has something else to do, is too drunk, or just plain stressed out. I have provided for his clothes, shoes, all basic needs since his birth. She lives in her familys home that is less occupied by 13 additional family members. I pay for his preschool and the transportation to and from because his mother has a difficult time getting up and staying up in the morning and I was afraid that as he got older he would end up getting hurt while not being watched. He comes up with unexplained bumps and bruises some require stitching. His school and myself are documenting all negative. Issues. I have not tried a legal avenue yet because I am afraid that without enough information, she will win and I will not be allowed to him which would be devestating for him. Any information you can assist with would be helpful.

Thank You

There are only two ways to go about this. Either your daughter can consent to give you custody of the child, or you'll have to fight her for it - which ever you choose, you're going to have to go through the state. Obviously, it would be much easier if she just consented to it but odds are that she won't.

Have you consulted with an attorney in your area? Some of them do free consultations so that you can at least get a good idea of what you're up against.

Has anyone contacted Child Protective Services? Does your daughter have any type of criminal record?

Etiner · Feb 8, 2010, 08:24 AM

Well, first things first. She is not my daughter, she is my son's ex-girlfriend. My son will not fight her for custody although they are not together nor do they even like each other. I am unsure of her background legally. I do know that the living conditions are deplorable, my grandchild sleeps in a playpen and shares a room with 3 other people. I could just go on and on, very sad. I do have a feeling that it will come to a legal battle and I had really wanted to avoid that, I was hoping that I would not have to turn her into Child Services and be the instrument to separate them. I am afraid that it is coming to that. If I fight and lose, I could lose contact with my grandchild because there is no family tie between his mother an I except for the child.

this8384 · Feb 8, 2010, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etiner

Well, first things first. She is not my daughter, she is my son's ex-girlfriend. My son will not fight her for custody although they are not together nor do they even like each other. I am unsure of her background legally. I do know that the living conditions are deplorable, my grandchild sleeps in a playpen and shares a room with 3 other people. I could just go on and on, very sad. I do have a feeling that it will come to a legal battle and I had really wanted to avoid that, I was hoping that I would not have to turn her into Child Services and be the instrument to separate them. I am afraid that it is coming to that. If I fight and lose, I could lose contact with my grandchild because there is no family tie between his mother an I except for the child.

That's not entirely true. A lot of states allow for grandparent rights.

I would definitely turn her into CPS because if it's as bad as you say it is, that child is in danger. Make the call and see where it goes from there.

Why will your son not fight for custody? Does he not want the child or is his living situation not much better?

Etiner · Feb 8, 2010, 09:26 AM

My son suffers from a nerological condition, he is afraid that he would not be able to care for the child because the child is very active. He would support us if we were given custody, he simply does not believe that he could first of all win the battle and secondly provide for the child. Everyone within my circle knows of my grandchilds plight and they also urge me to turn her in. Oh, I just hate to be that person, but I know you are all right. Instead I have stepped in and taken him into our home were he has his own room and pay for his preschool. That was he is only with mom about 16 waking hours a week.

JudyKayTee · Feb 8, 2010, 09:29 AM

If the child is taken from the parents you, as a blood relative, could very well receive custody. But, yes, it will be an ugly battle.

The other side of this is that SOMEONE has to protect this child and, unfortunately, I think it's going to have to be you.

califdadof3 · Feb 8, 2010, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If the child is taken from the parents you, as a blood relative, could very well receive custody. But, yes, it will be an ugly battle.

The other side of this is that SOMEONE has to protect this child and, unfortunately, I think it's going to have to be you.

I hate to disagree at this point but I have to. For one thing we have no idea if the OP's son has established paternity yet. If he hasn't then the OP IS NOT a blood relative. Also many states have strict laws about grandparents rights and in a case like this we don't know the state the op is coming from. If the father didn't go through a court ordered dna test then the OP is just a kind stranger. Have to be very careful in a situation like this one and we all know its a by the books scenerio.

How to get custody of my grandchild

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