Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    SmilingInside's Avatar
    SmilingInside Posts: 182, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jan 28, 2012, 09:10 AM
    How do I prevent any social worker/agent from speaking to my child alone at school?
    Someone made a false report to CPS on me. I'm worried, as any normal person would be, but since the allegations are completely false, I'm not SO worried. I am willing to be cooperative, but want to protect myself as well, since I read about CPS online since this has happened and it has introduced me to issues I wasn't previously even aware of.

    One issue is that, I read that social workers or other agents may try to talk to my child alone while at school, without asking my permission and without informing her that she does not have to speak to them without myself and/or a lawyer present.

    My question is, how do I prevent this from happening? Can I write a letter to the school telling them not to let anyone, regardless of who they are or what they say, to talk to my child without me and a lawyer? Will the school honor that? Or do I need a lawyer to do this for me? Mind you, this is Saturday, and I don't have a lawyer 'on tap' so I need to figure out what to do by Monday morning before the school bus comes, and if I do need a lawyer, should I keep her out of school on Monday (or late to school) until I get a lawyer's official letter?

    If I CAN do it myself, can someone help with the wording of the letter so that my child is 100% covered in case someone does try to speak with her alone? If I can do it myself, does it need to be notarized?

    I already had a talk with her about 'just say no' to any 'talks' with anyone like this but she is 6 so I am not 100% confident that she will be able to, or be able to recognize what's happening or be able to deal with any coercion techniques these people may use.

    Just want to be covered! Thanks for any tips.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jan 28, 2012, 09:27 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SmilingInside View Post
    Just want to be covered! Thanks for any tips.
    Hello S:

    There's only ONE way you can be "covered". That's to hire a lawyer TODAY and do what HE says to do, and NOTHING else... Otherwise, you're handing yourself over to the sharks..

    excon

    PS> Ok, it's Saturday, but don't let her go to school on Monday WITHOUT having spoken/hired somebody first.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jan 28, 2012, 09:41 AM
    In view of your other questions concerning your daughter's hoarding habits, your tickets for unlicensed driving, falling while pole dancing, violuntary drug testing, anger management classes and so forth I would get an Attorney and I would also be worried. Sounds like your life is complicated. What is the allegation against you?

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/crimin...l#post2808871; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...e-628761.html;
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...e-627394.html;
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/crimin...t-611099.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ls-591399.html
    SmilingInside's Avatar
    SmilingInside Posts: 182, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jan 28, 2012, 09:51 AM
    My life is very uncomplicated, actually. The anger management classes question was NOT for me, I was asking for someone else. My daughter who had an issue with collecting things is a different child than the 6 year old, who is the subject of the report. That issue has resolved itself, anyway. I have also asked numerous questions about my pepper plants and a few other mundane things, did you note those as well?

    I am not worried about the allegations, because they are false. I am only worried about 'the system' and keeping myself protected. The allegations have nothing to do with the question I asked. NOTHING. I asked if I needed a lawyer or not, to write a letter to the school. Do you have an answer to that?

    If you have help to offer for the question that has been asked, then help. If you have only come here to try to sling mud, then you're not helping.

    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jan 28, 2012, 09:53 AM
    There is no way to stop them from talking to your children at school if they feel they have a active case and feel the children are at risk. Plus I am sorry but from other posts I would agree that there could well be justification for at least an investigation from your own admissions.

    You could try to give the school, the teacher, and the school board notice that no one is allowed from outside the school to speak to your child without your knowledge.

    BUT, the fact is, if the teachers feel there are grounds, they are obligated to report it to CPS and often the child will be spoken to at school along with a counselor or other supervision from the school. Your letter would not stop that from happening.

    Also if there is nothing wrong, to be honest it should not hurt if they talk to anyone or not?
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Jan 28, 2012, 10:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Also if there is nothing wrong, to be honest it should not hurt if they talk to anyone or not?
    Hello again, Padre:

    You're right. It SHOULDN'T hurt. But sometimes it DOES! The McMartin case.

    excon
    SmilingInside's Avatar
    SmilingInside Posts: 182, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Jan 28, 2012, 10:07 AM
    Fr Chuck, you're an ex-cop, right? Would you honestly tell ANYONE that it's a good idea to talk to the authorities without a lawyer? Of course not.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #8

    Jan 28, 2012, 10:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SmilingInside View Post
    My life is very uncomplicated, actually. The anger management classes question was NOT for me, I was asking for someone else. My daughter who had an issue with collecting things is a different child than the 6 year old, who is the subject of the report. That issue has resolved itself, anyway. I have also asked numerous questions about my pepper plants and a few other mundane things, did you note those as well?

    I am not worried about the allegations, because they are false. I am only worried about 'the system' and keeping myself protected. The allegations have nothing to do with the question I asked. NOTHING. I asked if I needed a lawyer or not, to write a letter to the school. Do you have an answer to that?

    If you have help to offer for the question that has been asked, then help. If you have only come here to try to sling mud, then you're not helping.

    It's not the least bit unusual to look at other threads to see if there are other "facts" not posted. Happens all the time. I find being advised last June that it is NYS law that you have to replace an out of State license with a NY license within 6 months and ignoring the advice says volumes.

    Your sarcasm is totally out of place. You cannot direct who will answer you and in what manner. The fact that you were driving out a valid license could be the complaint against you. I have no idea - and apparently you don't either.

    Slinging mud? I posted what YOU said. All I know about you is what you've posted. Always amazed me that people who post their own history then come back all spit and fire when that same history is brought to their attention.

    If all the other questions are about your friends I'd find other friends.

    And it appears that two of your children have issues. I'm including the one who is a hoarder at a very young age. Maybe that will come into question.

    Then you went on to dish out some sarcasm to FrChuck - excon and I often come from different places. I agree with FrChuck on this one and partially with excon. In NY (and I'm sure you know this) if the child is suspected to be the victim of abuse the authorities do not need your permission to speak to the child and if you don't cooperate and "they" think there are grounds your child will be in foster car until "they" get the info they need or want. You don't want to post (although I asked) what the accusation is so I would wonder who made the complaint (the school?) and what the accusation it. Again, you apparently don't want to post that.

    So I'd ditch my attitude and contact an Attorney, and I'd do it now.
    SmilingInside's Avatar
    SmilingInside Posts: 182, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Jan 28, 2012, 10:52 AM
    So, in order to get a simple, straight answer to a legal question, you have to create a new account. Gotcha.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #10

    Jan 28, 2012, 11:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SmilingInside View Post
    So, in order to get a simple, straight answer to a legal question, you have to create a new account. Gotcha.

    No, actually that's a violation of AMHD rules that can get you suspended or barred. And now that the mods are aware of your plans...

    I trust you can understand the authorities much better than you can understand the advice that's been given to you here.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #11

    Jan 28, 2012, 11:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SmilingInside View Post
    So, in order to get a simple, straight answer to a legal question, you have to create a new account. Gotcha.
    You received quite qualified answers from an ex policeman and a private investirgator.

    I am curious now, just what was the allegation and why you want anyone talking to your child if it is all perfectly innocent?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #12

    Jan 28, 2012, 06:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by SmilingInside View Post
    Fr Chuck, you're an ex-cop, right? Would you honestly tell ANYONE that it's a good idea to talk to the authorities without a lawyer? Of course not.
    First, I would not tell anyone who MIGHT BE SUSPECTED OF A CRIME to talk to the authorities without benefit of counsel. But your daughter is not suspected of a crime, she is supposedly the victim, correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by SmilingInside View Post
    So, in order to get a simple, straight answer to a legal question, you have to create a new account. Gotcha.
    Is there ever a "simple, straight answer to a legal question"? The fact is that we try to give the best answer we can, and that often requires knowing the background.

    To deal with your question we need to know where you are. ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. In some places CPS doesn't need permission to talk to the possible victim of abuse. So there may be nothing you can do to prevent it.

    Finally, there was nothing wrong with JKT's initial response. She was simply providing context that would help us help you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #13

    Jan 28, 2012, 07:39 PM
    Yes, a witness or a victim of a crime is not given or read any rights and they do not even have the right to talk to an attorney. And while I am not up on the exact legal standing on how it works, it was explained to me before when we would question minors at school about crimes.
    But the school has a supervisor role over the child because of the status of the government government school. That is how the staff, teachers, principle were allowed and still allowed in some school to spank a child and require child to stay after school. They have a custodial status over the child while in the school. The same way the police resource officer can investigate, question and even arrest the children without parents being present.

    Plus of course CPS workers are not law enforcement, they are considered social workers, so their talking to the children are considered for their benefit.

    Also if they have to get a court order to talk to the kids, they can request that the parent not be present at the questioning esp if the parent is the one being investigated. Since the child is not the one being investigated, they have no right to legal council.


    But yes, if you want the answer you want to hear, you have to not tell all the facts and only give the facts to make you sound like you are the one harmed. If you give all the facts, you will get a answer that takes all the facts into consideration.

    CPS can often even get emergany orders to take children out of the home pending an investigation if they feel the parent is not cooperating with them. They get temp custody of the kdis, to question them as they want. They get those orders without you even knowing they are asking and the court merely hears their side to issue such a order. CPS just shows up with the order to take the kids.
    SmilingInside's Avatar
    SmilingInside Posts: 182, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Mar 18, 2012, 09:29 PM
    Just to update, the case was dropped and was deemed unfounded. The person who reported me was a known instigator, who I only know by name and nothing more. I asked the worker what happens if a person makes multiple false reports and they said they deal with that.

    I freaked out as I have never had to deal with this before, and frankly after doing some research online, I got even more freaked out. But... it was unnecessary although I'm glad I looked into it just to be prepared. CPS is a scary organization, even when you're innocent. The worker I had told me about how she had all sorts of people on her case load, including doctors, lawyers, everyone.

    She came to my home twice in 60 days (unannounced), never called, and obviously could see that there was no problem. The allegation; All my kids ever ate was fruit snacks (and she looked in my fridge and pantry and it was pretty obvious I had PLENTY of nutritious food and could see my kids were more than healthy). Yeah... wow. But, they have to investigate every call. Scary nonetheless.

    Why was I worried about my child being spoken to alone? She's 6, I don't know how they conduct the interviews. A 6 year old doesn't understand many things. Many tings a 6 yr old might say can easily be misconstrued. I just wanted to be on the safe side. Better safe than sorry, right?
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
    Uber Member
     
    #15

    Mar 18, 2012, 09:37 PM
    Hello again, S:

    Glad everything is cool.

    excon
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #16

    Mar 19, 2012, 03:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SmilingInside View Post
    Why was I worried about my child being spoken to alone? She's 6, I don't know how they conduct the interviews. A 6 year old doesn't understand many things. Many tings a 6 yr old might say can easily be misconstrued. I just wanted to be on teh safe side. Better safe than sorry, right?
    Thanks for updating us and I'm glad it worked out.

    I don't blame you for being concerned about your daughter being talked to. But the hope is that she was talked too by professionals, who know how to work with children.
    duckies2010's Avatar
    duckies2010 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #17

    Jul 16, 2012, 07:04 PM
    While I agree with a lot that is said , I have ahd to deal with multipul calls I mean every day for the past week I've had a new cop or cps worker at my dorr because of my boyfriend ex wife getting upset with him , one of the officers told me its not how things are it's the opinion of the person investigating on whether things are OK or not so the opinion of the so called "proffessionals" that speak to you children without you being there can perceive and answer to be one thing when the child didn't in any way mean it in the way it was taken by the case worker. Now everyone that has been to our home has stated that nothing is wrong with the kids or the home but just hearing a cop say something like that makes me have even less faith in the system so to speak. As per cps stopping harassing calls... well I have yet to see it so please stay prepared if your going to do a big cleaning keep everything in a room where the kids don't have access and where its not out in the open, because the simple fact of the matter is even though you cleaning and going through things the only thing that matters is the perception of the case worker that comes in your home and what was a cleaning expedenture to keep your house in order can very quickly turn into a situation where they remove your children from the home. While this hasn't happened in my home I had to take care of my friends children because this happened to her and her husband so please keep that in mind. They need to have better guidelines for this in my opinion because frankly after all of the harassment I've had to deal with in just 1 week due to false reports I feel I should hang a sign on my door that says make yourself at home and keep the coffee on.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #18

    Jul 17, 2012, 06:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by duckies2010 View Post
    While I agree with alot that is said , I have ahd to deal with multipul calls i mean every day for the past week ive had a new cop or cps worker at my dorr because of my bf ex wife getting upset with him , one of the officers told me its not how things are its the opinion of the person investigating on whether or not things are ok or not so the opinion of the so called "proffessionals" that speak to you children without you being there can percieve and answer to be one thing when the child didnt in any way mean it in the way it was taken by the case worker. Now everyone that has been to our home has stated that nothing is wrong with the kids or the home but just hearing a cop say something like that makes me have even less faith in the system so to speak. As per cps stopping harrassing calls ...well I have yet to see it so please stay prepared if your going to do a big cleaning keep everything in a room where the kids dont have access and where its not out in the open, because the simple fact of the matter is even though you cleaning and going through things the only thing that matters is the perception of the case worker that comes in your home and what was a cleaning expedenture to keep your house in order can very quickly turn into a situation where they remove your children from the home. While this hasnt happened in my home I had to take care of my friends children because this happened to her and her husband so please keep that in mind. They need to have better guidlines for this in my opinion becuase frankly after all of the harrassment ive had to dael with in just 1 week due to false reports I feel I should hang a sign on my door that says make yourself at home and keep the coffee on.

    I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about?

    Cleaning "expendeture?" Children can be removed from your house because you did house cleaning? If you do a "big" house cleaning, do it in the open but keep the kids away?

    Your friends cleaned the house and lost custody of their children for no other reason?

    I have no idea what any of this means OR how it relates to the original question.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #19

    Jul 17, 2012, 06:29 AM
    But I like this part, it gave me a chuckle:

    'I feel I should hang a sign on my door that says make yourself at home and keep the coffee on.'

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Social civics?in the english speaking world civil liberties had their beginning [ 0 Answers ]

In the english speaking world civil liberties had their beginning in the ?

What can I do to prevent someone from using my grandchildren social security [ 1 Answers ]

I have had my grandchildren with me for almost a year and with no help so I believe I have the right to claim them in my income tax return but my daughter will not let me have there social security numbers and I believe she is letting someone else use them for there own purpose and for her to get...

My social worker [ 6 Answers ]

I have just found my couisins and been talking to them for some time I visited my social worker about a month ago and let her read the conversations there were stuff in there that wasn't true I really would like a cell phone except for now since I did that I have to think of ways to regain trust...


View more questions Search