My ex boyfriend has manipulated our teenaged daughter into thinking that she is not wanted by me. Currently, we have joint custody with physical custody going to him, but he has violated the agreement by putting her in a group home and NOT telling me along with other violations. The only reason I haven't gone to court is because I don't have money like he does. An attorney told me it would cost 10K just for the retainer. I can't afford that, but I want my teenager living in my home. My ex beats his wife and they portray a "happy family" facade. I really need help.

Fr_Chuck

Check out legal aid society in your area. Also contact CPS and turn him in for deserting the daughter into group home, if you have joint custody that should not happen without your approval anyway.

Start for filing for emergancy temp physcial custody.
But things like him beating her, if she will not testify to it, and you can not prove it in court, then to the court it does not happen, only what you can prove is true in court. ** I know it really happens, if you know it does, but proof is the word in court

grammadidi

Apply for Legal Aid and get a lawyer. If you don't qualify for Legal Aid, then speak with duty counsel either at the court or in the Legal Aid office. A lot of time Legal Aid might determine that you should be able to pay, but they will pay the lawyer and you arrange a payment schedule with them. Frankly I find it difficult to believe that your ex has truly violated the agreement by putting her in a group home and not telling you, but if that's true and you really don't think it is in her best interests to be there, then you need to approach the court fast. A lawyer that says he wants a 10K retainer is full of chicken poop. He is either trying to dissuade you or he should be reported to the law society.

Hope this helps a bit.

Didi

hatedmominnyc

What is CPS?

Fr_Chuck

Children and Family Services, Dept of Human Resourse, DFAS, DFS and Children Protective services. the names vary by state,, sorry I should have been clearer)

LadyB

Child Protective Services. It goes by different names in different states but you should be able to find it in your phone book under government agencies. Look for Department of Humans Services, Department of Family Services, etc.

grammadidi

I would like to clarify my previous response.

I was not implying that you weren't being honest and I apologize if it came across that way. I was not questioning that your child was placed into the group home without your knowledge. I could think of no good reason why you would come here and ask for advice under false pretenses! I believed you - it was just difficult for me to understand how he was able to place your daughter in the group home without your input or a court's input. Usually group homes are quite insistent on both parents being involved.

I am well aware that if your ex did place her without your consent, it was likely a violation of the agreement. It was more shock that a group home wouldn't have insisted on both parent's signatures.... unless it was a court ordered placement, of course.

I apologize for any misunderstanding due to the wording of my previous post.

Hugs, Didi

Fr_Chuck

Thank you grammadidi, a issue that you mentioned about the attorney wanting 10 grand, that is very commom, most attorneys in private practice will require a retainer the from 5 K to 10 K to take most major cases. * at least in the US, they are in business to make money, you don't go to the grocrey store and expect them to give you the food free, you don't go and drive out with a new car free, so the lawyers have to get paid for thier service.

grammadidi

Wow. That is a very high retainer! Most of our retainers here would be between $500 and $2000 in Ontario. I hired a Family Law Specialist here about 5 or 6 years ago (there were only 13 of them in Canada, I believe) and he took a retainer of $1,000 in a case where we were pursuing permanent custody, motion to dispense one parent, consent to adopt by the other and the adoption itself. We knew that the case would cost considerably more, but they only take the $1,000 and when they have used it up, they ask for more. This keeps them paid, and the situation easier to handle monitarily, I guess.

A friend of mine in CT just went through a sticky divorce situation last year. They ended up retaining a mediator who requested $1500. retainer and a lawyer who requested $1000. retainer. So, it was my experience that retainers would likely be similar to ours. I must lead a very sheltered life!

I would NEVER pay a lawyer a retainer that high for going to court on a violation of a court order... but that's just me, I guess.

Thanks for the information.

Didi

Fr_Chuck

I know it is really bad, that is why you see all of these posts here saying, I can't afford an attorney, The last four I have hired in the last 5 years have all required a mim of 5000 just to look at the case, and if and when that amount of money was used up, more had to be paid before they would continue with the case.