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atadjaded · Feb 24, 2012, 09:17 PM

I have full custody of my 3( minor)children. The court granted my ex "supervised visitation" 6 years ago, and he has not tried to see them. We moved to another state, where my ex husbands father lives, and my ex moved here 2 years ago. We still have not seen him. He pays NO child support, but is supposed to. He has no permanent residence, claims he is too "disabled to work", but I heard he gets paid "under the table". I left because of his drug and alcohol problems and violent behavior, and from what I gather, he has not changed.
When I die, I want my oldest daughter to have custody. She is executor of my estate,I have listed her as guardian, and put my name only as the parent of the children in my will. My oldest daughter lives in Sweden, she is 30, married, and stable. She alone has access to the S.S. Cards, school records, birth certificates, and pin numbers of my accounts.
Two of my children still have nightmares about their dad and do not want to EVER live with him.They saw him choking me while I held the youngest ( a baby at the time) They are 12, 11, and 7 years of age.
How do I MAKE CERTAIN they never end up with their dad?
Second question. If I am on my death bed, can I have her come and take them to Sweden?
Also, he does not have any money to fight this in court.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 24, 2012, 09:28 PM

You can not, in fact at your death, since he has not lost his rights ( almost impossible to do) he would become their custody parent. You can not "leave" children to anyone in a will.
You can get a large life insurance policy to your oldest, so she can hire attorneys and fight this in court at your death. At your death, he can access their school records, move them to his home, transfer their schools and so on.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2012, 06:42 AM

Children are not assets that can be left in a will. You can express your preference for guardianship and give your oldest control of any inheritance the children are due. But if the father fights for custody, he may get it.

I say "may" because the issues of violence and drug use will help against him in court.

Did you have an attorney make your will? If you listed yourself as sole parent, that might help him fight the will since it is a false statement.

As for your daughter taking them to Sweden, for them to leave the country would require permission from both parents.

So, my advice to you, is to consult an attorney, one specializing in Family Law so see whether you can get his rights terminated NOW as a danger to the children.

AK lawyer · Feb 25, 2012, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by atadjaded

... I have listed her as guardian, and put my name only as the parent of the children in my will. ...

I don't quite understand this. You have recited in you will that you are your childrens' only parent? What difference do you suppose that would make?

Originally Posted by atadjaded

... Second question. If I am on my death bed, can I have her come and take them to Sweden? ...

Do your children have passports? They generally cannot obtain passports without the consent of both parents.

Originally Posted by atadjaded

...
Also, he does not have any money to fight this in court.

Fr_Chuck's idea to obtain life insurance is a good one. Term life is relatively inexpensive. But if your daughter is unable or unwilling to move to the U.S. I suggest that, in your will, you designate an alternate or co-guardian who lives near where you do (after first getting that person to agree to take on the task). Testamentary designations of guardians do not have to be accepted by the court, but your wishes will be considered.