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Does any one know about grandparent visitation? How hard is it to obtain? I currently petitioned the courts for visitation of my grandsons. I have never had a relationship with them, my daughter and I don't talk. However, recently I started talking to the childrens father and he has helped me to form a bond with them. I petitioned the courts to award me my own time with them because he has very little time with them himself. Will they grant me the time?
Also, my daughter and her new husband have another baby on the way. How do I get visitation of that child as well? Does any one know any helpful hints or statisitics on how often visitation is granted???
We had a investigation done, and they investigator advised that I get one weekend every 6 months. Will the judge agree to that? My lawyer say's they normally agree with the investigations. But it's really in the judges hands and is a sticky situation. And my lawyer did state that I don't have any hope to get visitation of the new baby since he will be with both his parents and they are married. My daughter is very adimite about the kids being exchanged threw a supervised visitation center. So we would never come in contact with her. But that isn't being fair to her children... can I stop that? My lawyer doesn't beleive I can???? Any thoughts?
You really are NOT listening to what we are telling you. Yes, judges normally listen to the recommendations of the investigator. But we can't tell you whether the judge will or not. You are asking us to predict a judges actions. We couldn't guarantee what a judge would do even if we had sat in court during the entire course of the hearing.
You are paying your lawyer because he has expertise in this area. So far it appears to me he's given you correct advice so listen to him. I know this is emotional for you and you think its all unfair, but you appear to be doing all you can and you just have to leave it in the judges hands.
I think you should agree to everything the mother wants. It's the only way. I understand your pain. But, the parents have the right to determine what is in their children's best interests and the only way I can see you moving past that is to make them feel that you will bend over backwards and shoot peas through hoops to please them. In all honesty, if the investigator only suggested twice a year visits then I am concerned. I think that at best, that will be what you get. In addition, by using the father to see the grandkids you can cause problems with his visits, plus she could use it to show a negative side to you. I don't necessarily agree, but it is so.
You need to gather as much info as you can, talk to your lawyer, and see if there is anything you can do to get on your daughter's good side. Taking her to court sure isn't the way. That is usually a last resort that I would recommend to grandparents who feel their grandkids are in danger so need visitation to ensure that they aren't.
Will she talk to you on the phone?? Have you ever just said to her, look... I really want to be in the kids lives. Is there anything that I could do to make you feel comfortable enough to let me see then every month or two??? Could we try monthly supervised visits for a year, then, if all goes well, try monthly unsupervised??
That is the only alternative that I see than to go through the courts and maybe never getting to see them.
Talk to your lawyer about other options. Maybe he and her lawyer could come up with an alternative. Suggest mediation... anything. The most important thing you can do is appear flexible, understanding, caring and capable. The rest is up to a judge.
Does any one know about grandparent visitation? How hard is it to obtain? I currently petitioned the courts for visitation of my grandsons. I have never had a relationship with them, my daughter and I don't talk. However, recently I started talking to the childrens father and he has helped me to form a bond with them. I petitioned the courts to award me my own time with them because he has very little time with them himself. Will they grant me the time?
Also, my daughter and her new husband have another baby on the way. How do I get visitation of that child as well? Does any one know any helpful hints or statisitics on how often visitation is granted???
I was in the same position you are in now. My daughter and I did not speak for 5 years. I only saw my three Grandchildren through their Father. It was heartbreaking. Their Father is a control freak and I could only see them when he was around and he took up all the time with his wild stories. Long story short......I worked very hard to getting a relationship back with my Daughter. We now have a wonderful relationship and I have my Gchildren all the time. Not sure what the problems are between you and your Daughter, but worth groveling a little! If not, instead of a supervised visitation, possibly have a go-between where you can pickup and deliver the children once a month or so. Grandparents rights are hard because the parents have control of their children. If you can prove to the court it would be beneficial to the children, you have a chance at some visitation. You need to hire a good attorney who handles Grandparents Rights. I wish you all the luck in the world. Grandparents are a resource children should not be without!
grandhaiku:
that is nice to know there is someone out there with the same issues. Actually the father in this situation is controlling and with out him at our house he won't bring the children by either. My daughter is not happy with us be-friending him. But we felt it was the only way to see the kids. My lawyer say's some visitation could be granted. I know there is no hope with our history with our daughter to fix that relationship. And I wouldn't want to fix it to only stop the court case, and then she would not be around when we would like any way. She has truly moved on with her new husband, baby and there family.
I don't want to do the supervised transfers of the kids cause it will be hard on them to know that they have to go threw a "center" for us to see them. Won't the kids pick up on the hostillity. I want to be able to go to my daughters house and be treated like a human and pick up my grandkids for the weekend..... And when I decided to fight for visitation, that's what my husband and I thought we'd ultimatly get. But I am slowly finding out, this visitation is not going to make our daughter smoothly or nicely transfer the kids. IF we ultimatly get visitation and she doensn't talk nice to the kids about us, is there any thing we can do?
I want to be able to go to my daughters house and be treated like a human and pick up my grandkids for the weekend..... And when I decided to fight for visitation, that's what my husband and I thought we'd ultimatly get. But I am slowly finding out, this visitation is not going to make our daughter smoothly or nicely transfer the kids. IF we ultimatly get visitation and she doensn't talk nice to the kids about us, is there any thing we can do?
Excuse me? You drag your daughter into court and force her to let you see your grandchildren against her will. Then you expect her to treat you civilly when you come pick up the kids? Don't you think that's kind of a totally unrealistic expectation? Especially since you and your daughter had issues already!
I'm not saying you should give up your fight for visitation. But you need to approach that fight with eyes wide open. Accept that it is a fight, that, if you win, you will be forcing your daughter to do something she doesn't want to do. That she will be able to attempt to poison the kids minds against you.
Dear Grandma: Would it be possible to get your email address?
The purpose of a site like AMHD is have public questions and answers so that not only can the asker benefit, but other people with similar problems may also benefit.Also, the drawback of taking help private is that the asker loses the advantage of peer review. If its private, other people can't correct mistakes or offer differing opinions. If you have some advice to give Grandma, I suggest you do it here.
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