I am a mother of a beautiful girl and have been blessed with finding the love of my life. He also has a little girl. We are the already premade family. However he only gets his daughter 50% of the time- every other week from monday to monday.....

What I need help with, if anyone can help give advise I would really appreciate your time THANK YOU!!!!

See my boyfriend is a loving devoted father and unfourinitly in his case ILL. court systems favor the mothers (which I can see in my case since my little one's father isn't apart and doesn't want to be a part of her life) But in his case he is the most amazing loving father and his ex is an unfit mother. She drinks heavly- she left their little girl in the bedroom locked about two years ago so she could go out drinking, and she loves her freedom. He wants to fight for full custody and raise his little girl with values and respect. But she loves her child support money- even though he gets her 50% of the time and buy everything she needs he still has to pay her 20% of his check to her for child support and on top of all of that he pays half of day care and we have reason to believe that she is collecting day care money from the government so she is just pocketing that day care money.

Is there any way to find out if she is collecting day care money from the government and if so how can i go about doing that- she shouldn't be allowed to collect that money... Also is there anyway we could get the state on our side ???...

ScottGem

Document, document, document!

You need to prove that she is unfit. And that's not going to be easy. You might have to hire a private investigator to document her drinking and leaving the child alone. But, if you can prove her unfit, you should be able to get primary custody.

MsMewiththat

If she is collecting Daycare benefits from the state, it is possible that the money that he has deducted to cover the daycare benefit is intercepted by the state. Best way to find any information out is for him to contact the case worker working their case. Questions that would change circumsstances; is the child support money paid directly to her by him submitting it to her or is thier a case worker or a "county or state institute involved"? Also how long have they had the 50/50 custody in action and is it in place in the court documents?

father-n-need

TY for your time!!! It is thru the case- but we believe that she is now getting help from the government now- the case was open two years ago and I would think that the money he is paying for day care should be reminburse back to him since the government is paying for it- But I don't know how to go about it with out her knowing... Also he is paying her 20% so he can see her- but I just think that it is unfare for him to pay when he has her half the time... I am trying to research but I cant find anything to help me out by going about it with out her knowing and trying to hide anything???

stinawords

The first thing I would recommend is to get a lawyer. A good one in your area would also know of some private investigators in the area that you could hire for a while. Once you have done that get a court date and have your boyfriend petition the judge for more time and ask for a modification in child support (but be aware that it might not be granted). Having a lawyer with you sure does help things though.

smokedetector

You can call the state and report a possible fraud. See if they can investigate it. If you have enough money, you can hire a good lawyer and he/she would know how to get appropriate proof. If what you say is right, the the father should get full custody, but that is all up to the judge in the end. Best of luck

father-n-need

I appreciate everyone's time and helping us!!! I am gonna try to go thru the state, a lawyer would be great but for a low income family like us we cant afford a good lawyer to help us win this case and let his little girl live with us... I wish the state would go on our side and help us win the case, I am trying to find what I can if you have anyother comments or answers on what I can do to help futher our chances of winning this please post thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

froggy7

I will point out that if anyone gets reimbursed from this, it's going to be the government, not the father.

RedneckMama

Like froggy pointed out...if the government pays for her state assisted daycare for the kid, then the government will get reimbursed first, not hubby...

I also with smokedetector who says call and report the fraud...that'll put a stop to those funds, and she will possibly face some sort of penalty for using gov'ment funds when the child's father not only splits time 50/50, but also pays CS...

I'm a little confused about the "he is paying her 20% so he can see her" comment...Is there not a child support order in place already that corresponds with the split time arrangement? How is he paying to get his child...is the ex holding the kid for ransom every week?

excon

Hello father:

I dunno. Even if the mother is a cheat, you're gonna be a snitch who ratted on your child's mother. Which is worse? I don't think your kid is gonna like it much when she grows up, either. What? You don't think she'll know???

But, even if you DID snitch on her, that doesn't mean she'll lose custody to you. It just means she'll have a whole lot of trouble.

I dunno what kind of law you're looking for. There ain't no law dealing with these issues. It's what's fair and what's in the best interest of the child. Judges have WIDE latitude in these matters....

In that regard, if you have joint physical custody, their should be NO award of child support. THAT would be something you could change if you got back into court. With what you save, you'll be able to afford a lawyer. Or, you can do it yourself. Family court is user friendly.

But, don't snitch on your daughters mother.

excon