My son is 2 1/2 years old. I was engaged to the father to be for 2 years, when I became pregnant, or more so when I found out I was pregnant, he told me to swallow as many birth control pills and other pills as I could, of course I did not. Then he went on to say that it was not his, and I must have slept with someone else. and again no. About 3 days afterwards himself and his mother offered me money for an abortion, because he was not ready for a child.This was beyond me I never thought he would have that type of reaction, and actions. When I was 3 months pregnant he decided to go back to the state of which he came, I actually was at peace with the idea, because his irrational behavior over the years lead me to believe he would not be a good father to my son. And so, with in 2 months of his being in MS, he got himself put into jail for 13 years but says he will not even serve half. He has wrote me 2 letters since he left, stating he wants to come back and will be a father to him. I am sick with the thought of it. His wrap sheet is long and began when he was in the 8th grade, it includes robbery's, accessory after the fact rape, kidnapping, dragging a black man down the road tied to the back of his pick-up, beating a guy with a shotgun until he went into a coma and was on life support, some of this happened after i knew him, and some of it happened before, I found out about a year into the relationship, [/b][/b]and tried to understand. I just need to know would he have a chance at custody, what kind it would be, can I keep him away, am I doing the right thing not wanting him in my son's life? and anything you might find helpful at all it would be appreciated.

ChihuahuaMomma

Since most of those are violent crimes, I seriously doubt he'll have a good chance of getting custody of your child. And how would he be able to get custody if he's going to be in prison from 6-13 years?

Fr_Chuck

Depending on the state, conviction of these crimes after the child is born can be grounds to have his rights taken away. So a good attorney can help. Please note that his past crimes before the child may not have any effect, esp since you were aware of them after one year and continued to stay with him anyway. And they were done prior to the childs birth.
But for those crimes done after, it may be enough to get his rights taken away.

Emma151

I would leave it for a while untill your son can decide if he wants to meet his father. Tell your ex that you want your son to decide if he wants to meet him.

Then when you son is old enough just tell him you dad has done some bad things but i want to know if you want to know him

i hope this helps

concernedmom26

If the father of my son comes back to NC when he is released from prison in MS, and proves my son to be his..(he has never seen my son, and wanted an abortion) what kind of rights could he get to him (he lives in another state)...(long extensive criminal history)...oh and does he have to back pay child support if he get rights that i don't want him to have...thanks for your time..

Fr_Chuck

First it is almost too bad that he did not already have rights, since going to prison for an extended time for a felony is often a reason to get thier rights taken away. But rights can not be taken away if they don't have them.

So lets say yes, he proves he is the father, first yes you can ask for full back child support to be paid, there will be a current monthly amount awarded and an amount to be paid each month to catch up past support.

Most likely he would just get supervised visits in your area to start with. Then after he has gotten to know them, and proven hisself, he may get to start some overnight, and after that maybe weekend.
But since he lives out of state, he most likely willl not keep driving back for all of the visits, unless he moves back.

so I doubt first he will come back, you have good grounds to fight it, if he does, but even if he does, it is unlikely he will get anything but supervised visits to start.

Now I am assuming you have an attorney during all of this.

ChihuahuaMomma

ConcernedMOM---please answer some of our questions, so that we can further assist you.

concernedmom26

Good question about how would he get custody..but we all know how some of these prison sentences work....they could serve way less than what they were given..,he has never seen the child..he didn't want the child, then he acted like he did...then he got locked up...since my son was born i have heard from him 2- 3 times. In each letter he stated he wanted pics...but why to help him get out of prison somehow during parole hearings??? Or to know what he looks like so he can kidnap him later...I have never written back and don't know if I should...I am so stressed and i want to be prepared for what the future may hold....I don't want my son to have to through this,,and if i thought he's be good for my son I would be all for it, i would love for him to have a dad just not this kind...I plan to be a police officer within the next couple of years, I just graduated from school and have a degree in criminal justice,,,i just watch the news,,and put nothing past anyone....thank u again for your help...

JudyKayTee

This is posted in 2 different forums and should be combined so that all the relevant info is in one place.

ScottGem

threads combined