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tbdietsl · Jan 11, 2010, 08:04 PM

I am scared for my mother's life. My parents have been divorced for about 5 years and my father is still very angry. I am afraid he is going to kill her. What can I do? Who can I talk to? I am an adult child with children of my own. They cannot be in the same place together without my father getting out of control. He says that he wants to kill her, strangle her etc if he ever sees her at a family party. As it is we try to alternate which one can come to which function. It is getting out of control and it seems to be getting worse with time. He has done some really crazy dangerous things already. Please help.

cdad · Jan 11, 2010, 08:20 PM

There is not a lot you can do. Your mom can seek a protactive order from the courts but in all reality its just paper. It could lead to his arrest but also could drive him over the edge.
It's a tough spot to be in. Has he threatened her directly ?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 11, 2010, 08:24 PM

You can ask your mother to call the police and report the threats,

And you can get family not to invite both at the same time to the same party,

tbdietsl · Jan 11, 2010, 08:39 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

There is not alot you can do. Your mom can seek a protactive order from the courts but in all reality its just paper. It could lead to his arrest but also could drive him over the edge.
Its a tough spot to be in. Has he threatened her directly ?

Her and I both agree that a restraining order would mean nothing in this situation. Also, he is on record in her town for previous encounters and he threatens her directly at times but mostly through others. It seems like there must be something someone can do. He is a total control freak and tries to control her through me and my siblings.

tbdietsl · Jan 11, 2010, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

you can ask your mother to call the police and report the threats,

and you can get family not to invite both at the same time to the same party,

We have not had a function where they were both in attendance in about three years now.

cdad · Jan 12, 2010, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by tbdietsl

Her and I both agree that a restraining order would mean nothing in this situation. Also, he is on record in her town for previous encounters and he threatens her directly at times but mostly through others. It seems like there must be something someone can do. He is a total control freak and tries to control her through me and my siblings.

Then she needs to go to court and do something about it. A restraining order will prevent him from acting up in front of others. Will it stop an attatck?. no. Will it end ALL verbal abuse?. no. But it would keep the threats from being spoken. By law he would have to shut up or sit in jail. Making threats against someone's life is serious. So for her own protection she is going to need to get something in place.

tbdietsl · Jan 12, 2010, 11:34 PM

Thank you. She is going to report it. I appreciate your advice in this very scary situation. I am also going to seek help to learn how to deal with him.