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father has custody; won't follow what judge ordered
My daughter has been going thru a custody battle for almost 5 years. The divorce was final , it's the custody that continues on. They had joint custody until he got re-married. He takes my daughter back to court again, and the judge awarded him with full custody. In the hearing papers the judge said this seems to be a full family ( she had 2 boys also ) and would be a more stable enviroment for the boys .
Also, in the papers the judge ordered : alternate holidays, having extra time at Christmas, needs to give my daughter copies of the insurance cards, and show his income tax returns to her and she shows hers' to him. To be able to call and talk to her sons, without being on a speaker phone or having the phone not answered, extending visits and more over nights, not to drill the boys after visits. etc. He refuses any of these, and continues to live his new life. He told my daughter she and all her family were in his past and not in the present or his future. We have spent over $6000.00 on lawyers but none want to battle. What can she do now?
If he is in violation of a Court Order her only choice is to take him back to Court for violating the Court Order - hold him in contempt - and request that HE pay HER legal fees.
I don't understand, if she's not a danger to the child or unfit, how she lost custody - ?
How old are the children? Was someone appointed to represent their interests?
If he is in violation of a Court Order her only choice is to take him back to Court for violating the Court Order - hold him in contempt - and request that HE pay HER legal fees.
I don't understand, if she's not a danger to the child or unfit, how she lost custody - ?
How old are the children? Was someone appointed to represent their interests?
Judy,
I should have been specific in this problem. To make a very long story short I will sum it up quickly. Her ex-husband bought meth and gave it to her so the "sex" would be more thrilling. Little did she know he didn't use any just her. The very next day he called the DHS and told them she was doing drugs. They came to the house asked her if she had done drugs, she said yes. She also told them she had been sick all night and wasn't sure why. ( maybe the drug, I think ) It stays in your system up to 5 days so when she went that day she tested positive. That's when all hell broke loose. The ex had made plans on moving out, this was his way of taking the boys ( ages then 7 and 3 ) from her. Yes there was an attorney to represent the boys, but, he never spoke to them he just went along with the DHS. I hope this gets to you Judy
Judy,
I should have been specific in this problem. To make a very long story short I will sum it up quickly. Her ex-husband bought meth and gave it to her so the "sex" would be more thrilling. Little did she know he didn't use any just her. The very next day he called the DHS and told them she was doing drugs. They came to the house asked her if she had done drugs, she said yes. She also told them she had been sick all night and wasn't sure why. ( maybe the drug, I think ) It stays in your system up to 5 days so when she went that day she tested positive. That's when all hell broke loose. The ex had made plans on moving out, this was his way of taking the boys ( ages then 7 and 3 ) from her. Yes there was an attorney to represent the boys, but, he never spoke to them he just went along with the DHS. I hope this gets to you Judy
Wow! My knee jerk reaction is "how can you possibly believe this is what happened?" but, upon thinking about it, I do believe you. I've heard stranger things than this!
Okay - then I still say she needs to go back to Court and request that the previous Order be upheld, that her "ex" be held in contempt. She can also request that that Order be changed/modified to give her more visitation, if that is what she would like, and possibly custody if she has had regular clean testing.
If she tested positive for drugs I can see the position that the Court took and (in theory) the Attorney who was representing the interests of the children. They only see what is right in front of their faces.
Sounds like a horrible situation. Please keep us informed.
Judy, I know how odd this all sounds or should I say crazy. What upsets me the most is this "man"( which isn't in my eyes ) would never play with his sons after work. He always said,"I've worked all day and shouldn't have to come home and play with the boys or kiss you. As far as trying to get a modification done, they told my daughter she couldn' t do it, because there hadn't been enough changes since the last filing. What does that mean?? I will give this information to my daughter and together we will get those boys back.
The Court undoubtedly has "rules" as to how quickly she can go back and request a modification. It varies from State to State and from circumstance to circumstance.
The best she can do is stay clean (and I realize she IS clean but she has to prove it) and wait for the time to pass. Staying clean - if she has been accused of using - is in itself a changed circumstance ... but she undoubtedly has to work her way through the time frame.
This will be an ongoing matter but I do believe if she persists she will gradually get more and more visitation and very probably custody.
She is fortunate to have you in her corner - and I'm the first one to say that personal advice does not belong on the board so pretend I didn't say that.
She also needs to keep a log about each attempt to to call, see the children, etc. What he said and did. He is under a court order and he has to abide by it or be cited for contempt of court. When was this order issued? Has she been back to court since?
She also needs to keep a log about each attempt to to call, see the children, etc. What he said and did. He is under a court order and he has to abide by it or be cited for contempt of court. When was this order issued? Has she been back to court since?
Id like to add that when making calls etc there needs to be time in between and not call every 5 minutes for 2 hours. Some people just dont get that part. The call logs are not a weapon but a tool.
She also needs to keep a log about each attempt to to call, see the children, etc. What he said and did. He is under a court order and he has to abide by it or be cited for contempt of court. When was this order issued? Has she been back to court since?
We discussed the same thing today about keeping a log book. The order was a year ago, and she went back to court last month, which didn't help. When this nasty divorce started, I kept records on everything he said or did, and when we went to court I had 7 pages of incidents. Her lawyer said we aren't here to put your ex down, we are here to get the boys back. So, shouldn't the lawyer want to use this against him?????????? Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel.
Id like to add that when making calls etc there needs to be time in between and not call every 5 minutes for 2 hours. Some people just dont get that part. The call logs are not a weapon but a tool.
My daughter calls her sons every night at 7:00 and talks about 15 min. The time she has talking to her sons, should be their time. He should not put the phone on speaker so anyone can hear and he should answer the call when he knows it is her. This is just another thing the jerk likes to do..
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