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tomsmom · Oct 20, 2008, 11:48 AM

My ex-husband works overseas by choice. He has decided that because he doesn't have much interaction with our 14-year-old son, he will file papers citing alienation and wants to cut ties and not pay child support anymore. He makes no attempt to call our son and a mild attempt at email. We have been divorced for almost four years, but he has traveled for work for 14. Can he stop paying child support?

stinawords · Oct 20, 2008, 11:58 AM

Don't worry about it. He will get a court date and you will have to show up to court and tell the judge you don't want his rights terminated and that's basically that. What state are you in? No state makes it that easy otherwise there would be hundreds if not thousands of parents not wanting to pay support in line with him.

tomsmom · Oct 20, 2008, 02:00 PM

stinawords, I am in NY. The judge has advised me to get a lawyer, but I can't really afford one, and besides, the advice I'm getting tells me that he has no grounds to stop paying support. The courts here in NY are so crowded. All I wanted was to have an income verification done and have the support raised (it's been three years since it was ordered) and I started this process in January! Thank yo for the comment.

cdad · Oct 20, 2008, 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by tomsmom

My ex-husband works overseas by choice. He has decided that because he doesn't have much interaction with our 14-year-old son, he will file papers citing alienation and wants to cut ties and not pay child support anymore. He makes no attempt to call our son and a mild attempt at email. We have been divorced for almost four years, but he has traveled for work for 14. Can he stop paying child support?

The simple answer is yes he can stop paying it. Even if he stops he still owes it but if he is overseas the long arm of the law might not stretch that far. Mostly it depends where he is and if any treaty's we have discuss child support in them.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 20, 2008, 03:55 PM

Part of the trouble is, where is his pay coming from, if it is a US company and he is paid, a garnishment may hold, but if he is paid by a over seas company there is little you can do to enforce it,
Not that he will not owe back support and may even be arrested if he comes back to NY latter.

But no the court will not let him stop paying, esp if you don't want to let him

tomsmom · Oct 21, 2008, 07:39 PM

My ex-husband works out of the country, but he is employed by an American company and has an American residence. His lawyer is trying to scare me into thinking there is a law where he can claim "alienation" (whether he means it's on my part, or our son's, I'm not sure) and cut ties and not pay support. He also makes about $100,000 a year, but claims he only makes$64,000. His company pays perdiem for his daily expenses. If he cuts ties, we would not only lose child support, but my son would not have medical insurance. He has not supplied a pay stub nor has he supplied a tax return, claiming his company takes care of all that. He claims to have to pay taxes in both countries. I just need to be reassured that the court won't let him just give up because he doesn't want to pay. Thank you all for your responses.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 21, 2008, 07:41 PM

No, you need an attorney, you can't afford not to have one.

Ant10ne · Jan 7, 2012, 03:23 PM

Stop being greeedy and quit trying to get more money!! If you want more money earn it yourself!

tomsmom · Jan 7, 2012, 04:41 PM

Ant1One, if you had taken the time to read the question you would have seen that I don't want more money. I just wanted what the court had ordered and he threatened to file paperwork stating alienation. Incidentally, he makes six times the amount I do. If a father tries to avoid support when he makes that much, who's the greedy one?

cdad · Jan 7, 2012, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by tomsmom

Ant1One, if you had taken the time to read the question you would have seen that I don't want more money. I just wanted what the court had ordered and he threatened to file paperwork stating alienation. Incidentally, he makes six times the amount I do. If a father tries to avoid support when he makes that much, who's the greedy one?

Has he started paying again yet? If not and Im sure by now he's over $1,500 behind. They can revoke his passport if he is out of the country and they can notify that country. They will deport him if he is caught.

tomsmom · Jan 7, 2012, 09:09 PM

Oh yes, it was really just a threat and that's all. He has been paying right along. There was an issue a couple of years ago and after that it was collected through child support services instead of him just sending a check himself. Since then I've had no problems at all. Thanks for asking.

cdad · Jan 8, 2012, 04:03 AM

Originally Posted by tomsmom

Oh yes, it was really just a threat and that's all. He has been paying right along. There was an issue a couple of years ago and after that it was collected through child support services instead of him just sending a check himself. Since then I've had no problems at all. Thanks for asking.

Thank you for coming back and giving us a follow up. Its nice to hear about outcomes from the advice we have given.

Thank You from all of us.