My son's father lives an hour and a half away. Ever since i was pregnant he has been in and out of me and our son's life depending on his feelings for the week... His reasoning was that he was in love with me and wanted to work things out... We started working things out and he was doing well until he met another girl. Ever since this girl showed up (no offense to her) he has been disappearing for weeks to months at a time... They broke up and my sons father started coming around again, and we started working our relationship out, then out of nowhere my sons father disappeared again for me to find out he was once again back with this girl... Now all of a sudden hes demanding weekends with our son, and my son doesnt even know him or his family. We worked it out for about amonth before he got back with his gf that every other saturday he would come up here to see our son, and the other saturdays he would take him down there for the day, just to give him time to learn and get used to our son, and so his family could see the baby as well... my son is 15 months... Well since he's been with this girl, he has ignored my calls while his son was in ER, and made excuses to why he couldnt be at his surgery last week... the last thing he said to me was that he'd call after my sons surgery to check up on him... he never called... nor did he pay support for that week or any week after. (our support was agreed upon by us, not court ordered)... so now i'm being told by his family, and taking it from signs of no calls and no support that he wants out....

How do I have him sign over his rights?? i'm sure he'd do it, but i dont know how to get to that point... I've been told that courts dont usually allow the father to give up rights unless someone was taking his place and adopting him... HELP!! this isnt fair to my son that he should have a guy popping in and out of his life depending on the girl he is dating and his mood for the week... This isnt fair... I dont care if he doesnt have to pay support, i want him to sign over his rights... what do i do??

LadyB

He can give up his rights to visitation, but he cannot give up his obligations to pay child support. You must get a court order in place that will lay your agreement out in no uncertain terms. Hire a lawyer, ASAP.

Fr_Chuck

First I doubt he will just sign them over, unless he is wanting to, and the courts can give him rights to visit his son and you can not stop him from vistiing if he want to be a part of the childs life.

Depending on your state, he may be able to sign over his rights if you and he both agree, but he can not sign over his obligations to pay child support. ( so basicly he will lose visits, and have to pay, so why should he ??)
In some states you may be able to take his rights away if he has not tried to visit child over certain time periods.

Next you may not try to inforce his payment of support and you are allowed to cheat your child out of thier money, but the states holds an obligation for the support, if you or the child ever collected state benifits,
so they will not let the obligations be signed away, unless soeone else is there to pay for it (normally in most states)

At this point, working out a proper visitation with the child, and collecting your child support seems the rational and correct thing to do.

KyLi22

He wants to sign over his rights.. he doesnt even wanna see our child.. so i guess its him signing over visitation, haha.

xandrea86x

my partners ex was a rite over his 2 kids and it was just under a yr he hadnt seen them for he had taken her to court n all that n we had to ask the courts could my partner lose all rites to his kids they said if he hasnt been in contact wat so ever in a yr then they lose all contact just that u av to prove that they aint bin in contact for that long, its so unfair as ur is a baby but hes too young to know give the babys dad the option again to want to know his son or not and if he decides not to do n e thing then leave it its not fair on the baby there is gud dads in the world n by the sound ov it he doesnt mind makin them but lukin after them he carnt do well good luk but if he is that much ov an d0nt give him another chance just dont contact him but dont change ur number at all so he can still contact u n if he doesnt after a yr all rites will b given up with out his permission good luk he sounds like a looser n u n ya baby will b better off with out him xxx xxx

KyLi22

Thanks hun..

Is the year thing only in certain states???
<3

xandrea86x

oh i am not sure the other ppl that have answered this question seem to think so i dont no were u r from but in england thats wat it is a yr y dint u c a solicitor normaly u get the first hour free and just ask them questions about it it wont cost if uur first hour with the solicitor is free xxx xxx

ScottGem

I don't get you. You think its not fair for the dad to pop in and out of his sons life, but you think its fair to completely remove the dad? That is real foggy thinking.

And why aren't you asking for child support?

It is unlikely a court will grant relinquishment of rights unless there is someone waiting to adopt or there is a case of abuse.

You don't say how old your son is, but what I would do is simply try to explain to the child that daddy never really grew up so he sometimes is irresponsible. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that you have done anything to make him stay away.

KyLi22

Whooooaaaa...
Hold up, calm down... HE DOESNT WANT RIGHTS. I said i would rather him just terminate his rights then pop in and out of his life... he has now stated he wants nothing to do with our son. He is no longer paying support, nor will he return my calls.

I will be taking him for support, and he will probably relinquish his visitation rights...

I never said i just wanna take them from him, i still love the guy, i just have to look out for my son, and right now my son's father wants nothing to do wit him...

You need to read before answering hun... i DID say how old my son it... he's 15 months... what are you reading exactly??? lol.

my sons father said his new gf is more important than his son... so what can i do but go to court??

<3

ScottGem

Sorry, I didn't see the reference to age. But the rest was based what else you said.

He probably thinks that by relinquishing parental rights he gets out of child support. But it doesn't work that way. Nor should you try to help him do it. If he doesn't want to visit, then he just doesn't have to. No reason to formally relinqush.