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jerziegrl13 · Jan 5, 2007, 11:59 AM

Here is my question, Dec. 2001 I legally divorced my husband, Father to my then 1 year old son. He has not seen my son since he was approx. 5 months old. He was ordered to pay Child Support, Daycare expenses, and keep up with the Health Insurance for my son. He has done none of these things. I have no idea of his whereabouts at this time, and have not had any contact with him since our day in court. My question is this, as my son does not know who his father is and he is now 6 1/2, he has his fathers last name and is going to begin asking questions, I would like to have my son's name legally changed to my own. As I said I have been raising him financially, spiritually and physically for the last 6 years. He has been in full time day care so I can work, Full day Summer camp and he now attends a Private School. He is a well adjusted child and I would like to keep him that way. I was told that in NY State is the Parent Abandons the child and is absent for 7 years, I can claim him as permanently absent and :write him off" so to speak. Is there any truth in that? I would really like to get his name changed and although he owes me approx. $85,000 in back support, I am not looking for the money. I am looking for his parental rights to be extinguished on the basis of abandonment and have my son share my name. Please advise. I would like some info as soon as possible. Thank you very much.

ScottGem · Jan 5, 2007, 12:18 PM

First, a person can use ANY name they want to as long as there is no intent to defraud. You can have your son go by your name simply by telling his school, doctors etc that that's the name he will go by. If you want to amend his birth certificate, go to the Registry office where he was born and ask what the process is.

As the child's guardian I don't think you will need permission from the father to do it.

Now as to parental rights, just let that lay. If and when the father returns and tries to exercise some parental rights, you can deal with it then. All you seem to want to do is have your son use your maiden name as his surname and that shouldn't be a problem.

jerziegrl13 · Jan 5, 2007, 02:19 PM

I believe that I would have to have a legal name change in place to amend his birth certificate... as far as school I have already hyphenated his name with mine in the hopes that his legal name will eventually stop being used. I doubt that the father will surface, however, I do have concerns going forward with the legal process for fear that he will try to argue it, although I doubt that any judge would hear his plea. I am aware that NY has quite different laws in reference to all this which is why I am up against the wall to try to do this. I don't think that I can go and petition the court on my own to do so without proper direction of trying to find him first which is what an attorney had told me already. Other than posting a notice in his local paper, but I am even unaware of the procedure for that. Thank you for your response and advice would be appreciated.

ScottGem · Jan 5, 2007, 08:33 PM

Like I said, I see no reason to formally remove parental rights. I also see no reason to go through the legal BC change. Since you have started with the hyphenation go the whole route.

buonanno · Jan 7, 2007, 05:50 PM

It depends on the state you are in and what it's laws are.most states will not let you change your child's name.I am in Washington dealing with a really nasty family court battle myself,here you can not change a child's name unless you have terminated the other parents rights and that is nearil impossible.