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jsarniejr · Jan 3, 2009, 06:10 AM

I was divorced in 2006,wife has custody of 2 monor children ,she has a history of drug abuse and outpatient rehab failures,we put a clause in the divorce that she must take one hair follicle test 1 yr after the divorce,she never did ,I sudpect drug issues again and filed for contempt to get the test,how should I precced if she refuses to test,can the court force her to test, John Massachusetts

JudyKayTee · Jan 3, 2009, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by jsarniejr

i was divorced in 2006,wife has custody of 2 monor children ,she has a history of drug abuse and outpatient rehab failures,we put a clause in the divorce that she must take one hair follicle test 1 yr after the divorce,she never did ,i sudpect drug issues again and filed for contempt to get the test,how should i precced if she refuses to test,can the court force her to test, John massachusetts

If there is a Court Order - which the divorce decree is - that she must subject to a hair follicle test and she did not, she's in contempt. You would have to file with the same Court and request that she beheld in contempt.

If she refuses the test (at least in my area) she would lose custody - same if she fails the test.

jsarniejr · Jan 3, 2009, 06:26 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If there is a Court Order - which the divorce decree is - that she must subject to a hair follicle test and she did not, she's in contempt. You would have to file with the same Court and request that she beheld in contempt.

If she refuses the test (at least in my area) she would lose custody - same if she fails the test.

I live 25 miles from her and getting the kids now would be very disruptive to their lives,could I presumely force her back into rehab and random drug tests until I could sell my home and move back to that town .we had gone in for a modification in sept and the mediator asked her to drug test and she refused... which set off my alarm,I want the kids but I want them inconveinced as little as possible,scholls ,friends sports... etc... do you see my dilemma? John

JudyKayTee · Jan 3, 2009, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by jsarniejr

i live 25 miles from her and getting the kids now would be very disruptive to their lives,could i presumely force her back into rehab and random drug tests until i could sell my home and move back to that town .we had gone in for a modification in sept and the mediator asked her to drug test and she refused ....which set off my alarm,i want the kids but i want them inconveinced as little as possible,scholls ,friends sports...etc .....do you see my dilemma? John

I see the dilemma but if you go to Court to demand a drug test and she either fails or refuses she's in contempt. You could REQUEST that she go into rehab but if she doesn't want to go, doesn't want to change, that isn't going to change anything.

You can't on one hand ask for testing to see if she's in contempt and on the other hand say, "Okay, she's in contempt but let's not do anything."

I think you have to decide what the priorities are here - if your children are in danger you have to step in, demand that she be held in contempt; if they are not in danger and the situation simply annoys you, then you do nothing.

You can't do some of each -

jsarniejr · Jan 3, 2009, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I see the dilemma but if you go to Court to demand a drug test and she either fails or refuses she's in contempt. You could REQUEST that she go into rehab but if she doesn't want to go, doesn't want to change, that isn't going to change anything.

You can't on one hand ask for testing to see if she's in contempt and on the other hand say, "Okay, she's in contempt but let's not do anything."

I think you have to decide what the priorities are here - if your children are in danger you have to step in, demand that she be held in contempt; if they are not in danger and the situation simply annoys you, then you do nothing.

You can't do some of each -

No your 100% correct,its time to decide,she s a white collar substance abuser,i.e. 100g a year ,800 credit rating,nice house... but still a substance abuser... not to make light of it but dennis miller used to quip"DRUGS ARENOT HALF AS BAD AS THE PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO HANG AROUND WITH TO GET THEM" and that's my issues she hangs with people you wouldn't trust your dog with... so I think I know what I have to do regardless of inconveinces thank you John

J_9 · Jan 3, 2009, 06:46 AM

Look at it this way John...

What's more disruptive to their lives? Living with an addict or living in a stable environment. Do you have enough room where you live now to keep them? How old are they? Children of certain ages adapt wonderfully to new and exciting situations.

jsarniejr · Jan 3, 2009, 06:51 AM

Yes I have a 10 room 4 bedroom house and I live alone ,ithey are all set up her.. own bedrooms,gaming romm ,exercize room etc etc.. I am prepared

J_9 · Jan 3, 2009, 06:53 AM

Then I see them living with you as a disruption of their current lifestyle, yes... But they would be better for it.

jsarniejr · Jan 3, 2009, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Then I see them living with you as a disruption of their current lifestyle, yes.....But they would be better for it.

The boys are 10 and 13 ,

J_9 · Jan 3, 2009, 07:05 AM

Ah, at 10 and 13 they are highly resilient. If they are subjected to addiction and all that it entails, don't you think they would be better off far away from the torment they must be suffering now?