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    neneshoe's Avatar
    neneshoe Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 26, 2009, 08:44 PM
    Divorce Decree has wrong date, Is this valid.
    I have been married for 17 years and my husband filed false chgs to get me to settle for nothing as far as property settlement. I did not have the funds to bail out. Had to accept no alimony or personal property to get him to drop the chgs. That's the first thing. Second, I have discovered he is dating his xwife and has decided to marry her since I stated we would not live with anyone outside of marriage. Our divorce has not been final for two weeks yet and my 12 year old daughter has issues regarding his dating so soon and the fact that it's his x-wife. I realize I am forcing him to marry her since I won't let them live together. I don't have a problem with that other than the fact that she has been known to do drugs and we actually got custody taken from her for their child due to physical abuse. My question is what do I need to do about this. I realized my divorce decree has the wrong marriage date on it. Is it valid, can I rebuke the divorce because of that. I also have info concerning some tax issues that could get him in trouble. I haven't done so because my daughter doesn't want her father to go to jail. Would I be a bad person for doing this. I am so confused. I do still care about the man but after fighting for 17 years about his relationship with his 1st x-wife it really is better that we are apart. I am just so confused as to what I need to do...
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    May 26, 2009, 08:50 PM

    Yes, you'd be a bad person to now bring up tax evasion issues if you've known about them for some time and doing this out of some sense of still "loving" him, trying to stop his marriage. In my State - NY - the wrong marriage date does not make the divorce decree invalid. It's a simple correction.

    I don't understand how false charges caused you to give up on everything, why you took such a financial beating if what he said was not true.

    Need more info.

    If his ex and soon to be wife is a danger to your daughter, then you need to go to Family Court in your area and ask for supervised visitation, bringing your proof. Hopefully psychological evaluations will be conducted on all parties.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    May 26, 2009, 08:52 PM

    Actually you can't stop them from living together, if they want, and it will not effect his rights to child visits.

    Next you needed to fight the terms and settlement of the divorce when it was happening, your choice ( and it was a choice) not to fight the charges and to fight the divorce was you choice.

    If you prove the lady to be a danger to your child, you can go to court and get a order that the child can not be around her.

    And I doubt he will go to jail over tax issues, he may get a aduit, he may have to set up a payment plan for 1000's of dollars but don't expect him to go to jail.

    If you want to report him do it, and move on with life, but don't do it to get even do it because you want him to pay legal taxes.

    You can play piss each other off for years and the only one hurt is the child.

    You can get the date corrected on the divorce papers, someone, including you did not catch it, but the divorce will be valid.
    neneshoe's Avatar
    neneshoe Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 26, 2009, 09:45 PM
    I actually had no choice as far as the chgs he filed. I had moved out of town to get away from him due to my daughter asking me to leave. He has been aggressive with me and then it began with her. I left for her. I had no job and his attorney advised him to not pay child support until the judge ordered it. As for me not fighting I had no money, living with my sister and in order to be bailed out I had to come up with $1200. With no money that's hard to do. I don't have any family but my sister left and he knew she did not have the funds. His attorney is his x-wife's best friend. Are u starting to get the picture yet? There is documentation as to his physical cruelty to my daughter and myself but it's out of state now and they cannot touch him because of it. I do understand that I should not get him in trouble for the taxes but I called him to ask about the personal items that I was to get out of the house and he has either thrown them out or tore it up. I did call my attorney and advised him of the situation and he advised that we could file a petition to the judge but it would cost me more to do that than let go of everything I was to get. I am a good mother and the only person that means anything to me is my daughter. The problem I have is that he is all over his girlfriend while my daughter is there. She's upset and that upsets me. He actually told my daughter he understood if she didn't come visit due to his dating his x-wife. Sounds like a real winner, huh?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    May 27, 2009, 05:04 AM

    No, I still don't "get the picture." What were the false charges against you?

    As far as physical abuse in one State not being allowed into a divorce/custody hearing in a second State, no, I've never heard of that - and I work in the legal field.

    My other concern is that a 12 year old appears to be very involved in this divorce - she asked you to leave (you apparently didn't leave to protect yourself or her for at least some period of time) and now she's reporting that he's "all over" his ex-wife. I can believe a father is so frustrated over the complaints of a child that he would tell her she doesn't have to visit - not saying it's right, not saying he shouldn't have more self control or whatever is going on, just saying it does happen.

    As far as reporting him to the authorities, you have admitted it would be out of spite because he destroyed your personal property. Revenge usually comes straight back at a person.

    What was his marital status when he met and married you? He apparently isn't presently troubled by living with his "ex" while still legally married to you.

    At any rate I realize you think you have been wronged. I don't know if your motive is the welfare of your child, your personal safety, anger over the "ex," jealousy over the "ex" but I don't think you come across well. I see a lot of excuses here.

    I also don't understand if you have no money and he has all the money why he didn't pay for the divorce. And, again, I don't understand the false charges against you.

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