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Disabled Spouse Abuse and Divorce

Asked Dec 13, 2009, 11:32 AM — 13 Answers
A friend of mine was diagnosed with MS shortly after she was married and had a child. She is receiving disability income but works 3 days per week. She is able to drive herself to work and to take care of her daughter when her husband isn't home. Money isn't the issue here, but nonetheless, due to her condition, she still does require some assistance from him.

I've noticed that within the last few months, her husband has become more and more abusive toward her. At first, it was teasing her about how she walked but now he yells and calls her a cripple. He resents that she can't do all the things he wants to do and leaves her at home while he socializes with friends alone. When he is home,

Last night, they went out and they both had several glasses of beer. While walking toward the house, she slipped on the ice and fell to sidewalk. He told her that she was just a drunk and should get up. She agreed that she had too much to drink, but needed his help since her legs simply weren't cooperating. He ignored her, went into the house, closed the door, got yet another beer and sat in the window laughing at her while she struggled to get up. After 45 minutes, he finally came out of the house and physically dragged her inside. I'm not condoning the drinking, but leaving your spouse in below freezing weather for 45 minutes and laughing at her sure doesn't seem right!

Today, she says she's had enough and wants to hire an attorney and file for divorce. There will definitely be child custody issues as well since he has told her that because she was a cripple, he was going to get full custody. What a mess!

Is there a special branch of family law that deals with this type of situation or should she just hire a family law attorney from the phone book? Since she is disabled, isn't there some law that affords her protection from this type of abuse? She lives in Wisconsin.

Thank you to anyone who can offer advice.

Dondea

13 Answers
JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 45,328, Reputation: 23503
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#11

Aug 15, 2012, 09:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackie127 View Post
[, somehow I found the strength to get out AND I got out with SOLE CUSTODY... I lost my legs in the 2 1/2 year process in the courts as he fought everything right down to trying to say my MS had no bearing on my life though he was there thru the decades and saw my struggles w fatigue and increasing physical disabilities and the fact that twice I was ordered by a doctor to quit working FT in 97 and 00... Screw that bastard who would do what is described above to a woman w such a hard illness like MS... I hope your friend got out and that A-hole pays the karmic price for doing what he did. My ex was a control freak but his behind his fraud mask of being a nice guy to others. It was a horrible marriage and horrible divorce which HE chose to make that way. My life is certainly more challenging now than its EVER been due to physical disabilities but I have my kids and I no longer have to live with someone that treated me poorly for 20 yrs...

Just as a side note because this is a legal board you got full custody and he has no visitation ... and he's an Attorney? Did you physically lose your legs?

In NY you would own part of his license to practice law - did that happen in your State?
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lordgangluff's Avatar
lordgangluff Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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#12

Aug 19, 2012, 07:14 PM
I also have MS and find myself in an emotionally abusive marriage. My husband has left me so many times ... at Applebee's, at our previous home where I had to finish packing and cleaning alone, lying on my in-laws' bathroom floor in my own excrement, at international customs, etc. We are attending a Compassion Power boot camp as a last resort, and if unsuccessful I am ready for separation. Please know that MS affects everyone differently. Having MS DOES NOT MEAN you eventually won't be able to care for your children. My children would be lost without me. He is beginning to treat them as he treats me.
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JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 45,328, Reputation: 23503
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#13

Aug 20, 2012, 06:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lordgangluff View Post
I also have MS and find myself in an emotionally abusive marriage. My husband has left me so many times ... at Applebee's, at our previous home where I had to finish packing and cleaning alone, lying on my in-laws' bathroom floor in my own excrement, at international customs, etc. We are attending a Compassion Power boot camp as a last resort, and if unsuccessful I am ready for separation. Please know that MS affects everyone differently. Having MS DOES NOT MEAN you eventually won't be able to care for your children. My children would be lost without me. He is beginning to treat them as he treats me.

What is your question?
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lordgangluff's Avatar
lordgangluff Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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#14

Aug 20, 2012, 06:08 PM
No question. Responding to others' comments on this thread.
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